willlo
Dec 14, 2020
Writing Feedback / IELTS 1; Underground railway system in six cities: London, Paris, Tokyo, Washington DC, Kyoto and LA [2]
Dear All,
I come from Asia, I have to take the IELTS apas but the writing task is too hard for me. Can anyone give me some or full comment for my writing?
The table gives information about the underground railway system in six cities where are London, Paris, Tokyo, Washington DC, Kyoto and LA.
For the open date of the underground railway system, London is the earliest with 1863 while LA is the latest with 2001. In addition, Paris's underground railway system was built in 1900 while Tokyo's railway system was built in 1927. Around 50 years later, the railway system of Washington DC and Kyoto were constructed in 1976 and 1981 respectively.
The longest railway system is in London with 394 kilometers. However, Kyoto's railway system is the shortest one of 11 kilometers. LA's railway system is longer than Kyoto, which is 28 kilometers. Moreover, the length of the rail system in Washington, Tokyo and Paris are also longer than 100 km, which are 126km 155km and 199km respectively.
For the last group, it is clear that Tokyo's railway system hold a maximum volume of 1927 million passengers per year while the railway system in Paris holds 1911 million passengers per year. The railway system of passengers in Kyoto and LA were similar which are 45 million per year and 50 million per year respectively. There are 144 million passengers per year in Washington DC's railway system. London's passengers of the railway system are more than Washington DC's which is 775 million per year.
Dear All,
I come from Asia, I have to take the IELTS apas but the writing task is too hard for me. Can anyone give me some or full comment for my writing?
Underground Railway System
The table gives information about the underground railway system in six cities where are London, Paris, Tokyo, Washington DC, Kyoto and LA.
For the open date of the underground railway system, London is the earliest with 1863 while LA is the latest with 2001. In addition, Paris's underground railway system was built in 1900 while Tokyo's railway system was built in 1927. Around 50 years later, the railway system of Washington DC and Kyoto were constructed in 1976 and 1981 respectively.
The longest railway system is in London with 394 kilometers. However, Kyoto's railway system is the shortest one of 11 kilometers. LA's railway system is longer than Kyoto, which is 28 kilometers. Moreover, the length of the rail system in Washington, Tokyo and Paris are also longer than 100 km, which are 126km 155km and 199km respectively.
For the last group, it is clear that Tokyo's railway system hold a maximum volume of 1927 million passengers per year while the railway system in Paris holds 1911 million passengers per year. The railway system of passengers in Kyoto and LA were similar which are 45 million per year and 50 million per year respectively. There are 144 million passengers per year in Washington DC's railway system. London's passengers of the railway system are more than Washington DC's which is 775 million per year.
