Undergraduate / Common App. - extracurricular activity - football - I love this game [9]

Thank you for the advice, ebby2010 and jamespotter_z7- I have tried to focus on one main lesson learned and explained more about how I learned this. I'm not sure about punctuation-

The extracurricular activity I enjoy most is football. I have loved this game ever since I was a young boy, and my Dad painted lines in our backyard for neighborhood games. This sport has taught me many life lessons and has helped shape me into the young man I am today. One of the main lessons I have learned is that hard work can be even more important than ability when facing challenges. I have always naturally been good at playing wide receiver because of my speed and ability to catch. However, I serve as quarterback, since this is where I am needed most. Although it has not been as easy for me at the quarterback position; by working hard with my teammates, and putting in extra time to develop the skills needed for this position; I have helped my team have success on the field. I realize through my football experience that working hard will also help me overcome any challenges I encounter in life.

Undergraduate / Common App. - extracurricular activity - football - I love this game [9]

Here's a revision- Thanks!

Of all the extracurricular activities I am involved in, the one I enjoy the most is football. I have loved this game ever since I was a young boy, and my Dad painted lines in our backyard. This sport has taught me many life lessons and has helped shape me into the young man I am today. Football requires skill, hard work, teamwork, and a positive attitude. As Captain and Quarterback, I have also developed leadership skills, which include teaching younger players and also having the ability to adapt with a change in strategy during games. These lessons and skills are useful off the field as well. Whether studying in school, working a part-time job; or some day raising my own family and having a career; I realize that the lessons I have learned and the enjoyment I have had in football will help me succeed in life.

Undergraduate / Common App. - extracurricular activity - football - I love this game [9]

Thanks. I appreciate the feedback. I have some more work to do!