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Posts by Tulaneboy
Joined: Oct 25, 2009
Last Post: Dec 7, 2009
Threads: 2
Posts: 3  

From: Myanmar

Displayed posts: 5
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Tulaneboy   
Dec 6, 2009
Undergraduate / What would it be to your advantage to participate in Protrack program? [4]

Florida institute of Technology essay.Word limit is around 250.Thanks in advance

I do remember how exciting I was when I saw "Do you intend to apply for Pro Track co-op program?" while filling out the online application. Before I knew about Pro Track co-op program, FIT was just a school I want to attend.

I have always considered receiving sufficient financial aid a barrier against my US education. In almost every university, grants are extremely limited, and scholarships are highly competitive for international students. Since also off-campus jobs are prohibited by the US government, I thought that my family would be in a huge trouble when I start my studies next year. However, the Pro track option has saved me from this dilemma of thoughts. With over 30,000 dollars I will earn during three co-op experiences, financing my education will no longer be an unsolvable problem.

Pro Track can also keep me occupied during holidays. Because of the high transportation costs, I have decided not to come back to my home country during summers. If accepted by FIT co-op program, I will be able to spend the summer months taking classes or working under a renowned employer.

I believe that the essence of engineering is fulfilling our society's needs. Although there will be projects and contests through out four years of undergraduate studies, they won't deal with the society's needs as much as the co-op experiences. Pro track will allow me to work for our society as well as to see people using what I have striven after. I will have to opportunity to become more than a student.

Now, FIT has become a school I want to attend, I should attend and, most importantly, I can afford to attend.
Tulaneboy   
Dec 6, 2009
Undergraduate / My heart is for FASION; FIT-Fashion Merchandising/ Perfect candidate [5]

I think you essay doesn't really answer the questions asked in the topic.

You just say you love fashion and you are dedicated to fashion.But you don't say why are you interested in it.

The first two sentences are quite irrelevant to the rest.And what are you afraid of ? I know how you want to start your essay.But you should find some better things to say.Additionally, will you also find it intimidating to attend college?

You should move the last two paragraphs above the currently second paragraph.

You really wouldn't need to tell which college you are transferring from.that kinda interrupts the flow.
Tulaneboy   
Oct 25, 2009
Undergraduate / Essay about the worst thing I have ever done [2]

Describe a significant experience and its impact on you.

"Arrrrrgh!"

My scream echoed in a huge compound enveloped by tall lush trees. My sister, who had been cooking in the house, dashed to me as soon as she heard the scream. She was horrified when she found me in a heap on the ground. I was ceaselessly groaning with agony. Quickly, she hoisted me into the house. Everybody was agitated. Nobody really knew what to do. There, lying on the floor with the legs raised by my sister, I saw my brother calling a taxi.

Everything was fine just a few minutes ago. I was watering the plants in my compound which is one of my daily activities. I was just doing my work. But there was something that kept barging into my mind and luring me to see what was inside it since I started watering. "It" was nothing but a big hole in the ground a couple of feet away from me. I hadn't seen that hole before, nor did I know what it was for since nobody had told me anything about it. Actually, my father dug that hole a few days earlier and burnt a pile of plain shavings in it to grow a plant he had bought in a pot, the burnt shavings being the manure for the plant. But I did not know that then. And, now, I was just feeling the strong urge to check on the hole. So I did. Having never seen a pile of pitch-black burnt shavings, I was intrigued when I found it. Then I tried to reach some of the shavings to get a sample to know what exactly they were. But I couldn't, because of my short arms. I also looked around in hope of finding a shovel or a twig; nothing was there. So I light-heartedly decided to jump into the hole. As it turned out, although the pile seemed to be safe on the outside, it was insidiously burning in the core. I was too late.

The pain in my feet was so intense that I could hardly hear what my sister was saying. Then I braced myself and looked at my feet. Blacked by the ashes, they were no doubt horrifying. The epidermis had shrunk, wrinkled and detached from the dermis at some places, revealing the pink fleshy dermis under it. It was such an appalling scene that I tried not to look at them until they were bandaged at a nearest clinic. When I got back home, two people had to lift me from the taxi into the house, more specifically, to the place where I had to spend most of my time in two months to come: a cozy gray couch.

For the first two weeks, I couldn't walk - or even stand up for a few seconds. That, unquestionably, plunged me straight into depression since the boredom, as much as the pain, was unbearable for a dynamo like me. Missing all those days I cycled on the streets cheerfully, I felt the depression quickly replacing the vigor I had had. But, after some dreadful days, I could eradicate all the bad feelings and reclaim my vigor by making myself promises. To cycle as soon as I could walk was one of those earnest promises and when I found them really encouraging, every shred of despair that had been smothering me - disappeared.

Although it was easy for me to overcome the depression, a deep regret for my foolish act kept obsessing me for quite a long time. To be honest, I still feel really regretful whenever I think about it. I must nonetheless appreciate the two most important, as well as permanent, life lessons it taught me: to be knowledgeable and to be thoughtful. Obviously, not knowing what kind of substance burnt inside the hole caused me to jump. If I had known, I wouldn't have bothered .This idea seamlessly instilled keen acquisitiveness in me over time. And I began to do such things as reading non-fiction books, watching documentaries, and using internet for information purpose, all of which I had hardly done before. But acquisitiveness is not the only attribute that have been leading a major role in my life. One more thing is thoughtfulness. I think before I speak. I think before I eat. I think before whatever I do. With deep thinking and logical reasoning, I have avoided tons of mistakes, which I would have otherwise committed. What a pity I didn't think before I jumped.

Two-month time was the best cure for the burn and the burn for my low mentality. Only because of the burn, did I come to realize that I needed changes in not only habits but also my way of life. It turned me into a completely new person free from thoughtlessness and ignorance. In fact, I feel obligated to attribute all of my both academic and extracurricular achievements to those very lessons it taught me. But I was left with some ugly scars in my feet, especially on the left toes, and they are still very prominent to this day despite the medications. They are like reminders though, telling me not to do the same sort mistake again. Plus, what could be more effective?

I think it's a little bit long, but I don't find any way to shorten it.You might say that I should add something which benefited from the above experience, but the essay is already slightly above 800 words.
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