lichun2644
Oct 31, 2009
Undergraduate / 'To be influential' commonapp essay [5]
I suggest that you may consider to tell your life goal in the beginning.
I suggest that you may consider to tell your life goal in the beginning.
lichun2644
Oct 31, 2009
Undergraduate / 150 word essay common application. Talent used to it's full potential [2]
Hello, I suggest that you may consider to pick up a particular activity and describe it? Now it is like a description of what you have done only. :)
Hello, I suggest that you may consider to pick up a particular activity and describe it? Now it is like a description of what you have done only. :)
lichun2644
Oct 28, 2009
Undergraduate / "Light and Truth" - choice one of the essays, Yale university [3]
Hello, i am an applicant from Singapore. I am applying Yale this year but don't know which essay I shall use for common app. Can anyone help me to comment on my essays please? Thank you!
Light and Truth,
In my first chemistry lesson, I saw sparkling light ignited by plunging grilled magnesium into pure oxygen gas. I also like candles which can instantaneously illuminate the pitch-dark room at night. Observing physical light can be exciting, but to discover spiritual light and truth in one's life would be more enjoyable.
When I was very young, I started to cherish night time due to its tranquility. Meanwhile, I was daunted by its mystery as the dark night seems have any possibility. Every peaceful night, I cannot help but rejoicing a moment staying in a quiet place far away from the boisterous world. I read and pondered while enjoying the darkness and the moonlight.
Stepping into Sophie's World, I met and discussed with sapient philosophers.
"So what is your opinion of the meaning of life?" I asked Plato once.
"Hmmm, child, it is like men in a cave. We seem to stand behind a fire, facing the wall in a cave, while a series of objects are moving in front of the fire but just behind us. However, we only observe the shadows on the wall but not the objects, for we can hardly turn back."
"What are 'fire' and 'objects'? Why can't we turn back?" I became more curious.
"Good questions! The objects are the truths in the world, and it is the light from the fire which guides to search for the truths. We can hardly turn back since we have adapted to shadows, whereas a few of us, such as Socrates and Newton, try to turn back to see the objects with the help of the fire, unveiling the light and truth." Plato answered me.
Impressed by his words, I looked for light and truth in my own life. I read Martin Luther King's speech "I have a dream", which expressed his pursuit of truth-justice and equality, and imitate his oration at night. Sometimes I recall the experience in the hospital while delivering the speech. Gradually, I can deliver King's speech proficiently and eloquently, and figure out my light and truth-I would like to explore the truth behind the nature and human mind in the light of knowledge.
As a child, when I talked about my light and truth with adults, they only smiled. I learn that my light and truth is a "dream" as I mature. People can have different definitions of truth, and some simply do not care about it at all. The dream is so far away; I may never get close. However, King had a dream that seemed impossible once but becomes veracious with every decade. Perhaps someday, I can transmute my dream into actualities.
I see my light in the world of science. While dedicating to study general science in textbooks, I can barely contain my enthusiasm in research. Sometimes, my experiments failed; sometimes, I became frustrated. However, I could always be inspired by the moon at night. We are always searching for something sparkling in this mysterious world, which is like the bright moon in the dark galaxy. The fascinating world of magnetic thin films encourages me to explain not just lines, figures, or data, but truth, truth of the nature.
Probing into the nature of human mind beyond what is immediately visible, I told off-color jokes and behaved unconventionally to observe people's reactions. Once, when I walked to a night class, I saw a classmate running past me. Both of us were late. I asked, "Why are you running? We are already late." "Because I am late, I have to run." She replied. To my surprise, she stopped running after passing me and started walking! I questioned the consistency of human behaviors and hypothesized that we tend to run ahead as long as someone else is behind. In these experiments, I tested, failed and succeeded, using results to critically analyze and get nearer to the truth.
One night, when I was gazing at the moon, a question suddenly came to my mind,
"If one has the power to adjust the weather on the earth, will he want it be wholly day or night?"
I asked my friends this question, and many of them answered "day", which was more cheerful than gloomy night. I smiled. Night will be my choice, for it allows me to reflect, especially thanks to the moon in the darkness, which guides and continues to guide me towards the light and truth I have been pursuing in my life.
OR
Light and Truth,
I remember my first chemistry lesson when I saw sparkling light ignited by plunging grilled magnesium into pure oxygen gas. I also like candles which can instantaneously illuminate the pitch-dark room at night. Observing physical light can be exciting, but to discover spiritual light and truth in one's life would be more enjoyable.
My watch tells me that it is 7:00pm now. Although I just come back and feel tired after working since 7:00am, I still have English lessons later... what a terrible life!
I decide to have a rest and put aside Sophie's World, my favorite book, after reading about Plato again. Are all natural phenomena are merely shadows of the eternal forms or ideas? I close my eyes and think.
I step into Sophie's world and a person wearing Greek costume appears in my sight. THAT is Plato!
I cannot help but questioning him immediately about eternity and meaning of life.
"Child, it is like men in a cave. We seem to stand behind a fire, facing the wall in a cave, while a series of objects are moving in front of the fire but just behind us. However, we only observe the shadows on the wall but not the objects, for we can hardly turn back." Plato answers.
"So the objects are the eternal truths in the world, and it is the light from the fire which guides to search for the truths. We can hardly turn back since we have adapted to shadows, whereas a few of us, such as Socrates and Newton, try to turn back to see the objects with the help of the fire, unveiling the light and truth. Is my understanding correct?" I suggest dauntlessly.
"Clever! But remember that it is regretful when one is so absorbed in fantasy that he loses touch with reality, but it is equally tragic when one is so absorbed in reality that he loses the ability to dream..." He reminds me.
"I dream to search for the truth of the nature and the human mind in the light of knowledge and experience. But, but I seem..."
"Li Chun, wake up! It is time for lesson!" I hear my friend's familiar voice.
I sit up, looking at my watch. "7:30pm. Oh, I am going to be late!"
I hurried to pack my stuffs for the lesson, and see the jumbled table, replete of lab notes, graphical results and research papers, and a stack of science textbooks. My bag witnesses my crucial behavior again: with celerity, I take out fresh materials from my two labs today from his big mouth and leave them on my table. I become excited as I stare at the interesting results I attained throughout the whole day although my experiments have failed for times. I can see my light in this world of science, and I explain not just lines, figures, or data, but truth, truth of the nature.
I finish packing and rush out. My friend has waited for me for five minutes, and he also knows that we are late.
"Don't worry, since we are already late, let's just walk." I suggest and he nods as usual.
Walking to the class with my friend, I stared at the sky, the inky blackness of the night. "If I can stay in a quiet place far away from the boisterous world, I cannot help but rejoicing a moment there to read, research and ponder while enjoying the darkness and the moonlight." I told myself.
Suddenly, a girl runs past us, and we recognize her as our classmates.
My friend asks, "Hey, why are you running? We are already late anyway!"
"Because I am late, I have to run!" she answered while running.
"Perhaps she is a good-natured girl." I told my friend.
But to our surprise, she stopped running once passing us for about ten meters. I become excited and whisper, "The consistency of human behaviors is quite questionable. Maybe we tend to run ahead as long as someone else is behind?" Observing such behaviors, I become extremely enthusiastic and probe into the nature of human mind beyond what is immediately visible. I tested, failed and succeeded, using results to critically analyze and approach to the truth of our mind.
Two hours later, lesson ends. I walk out of the class room, and glaze at the moon which is the brightest point in the galaxy. A question comes to my mind,
"If one has the power to adjust the weather of the earth, would he want it to be wholly day or night?"
I ask my friend this question on the way back, and he answers "day", which is more cheerful than the gloomy night. I smile. Night will be my choice, for it allows me to reflect, especially thanks to the moon, which encourages and continues to encourage me to look for the light and truth I have been pursuing in life.
I will still edit the second one but don't know which one to choose.. Please help.. thank you very much!
Hello, i am an applicant from Singapore. I am applying Yale this year but don't know which essay I shall use for common app. Can anyone help me to comment on my essays please? Thank you!
Light and Truth,
In my first chemistry lesson, I saw sparkling light ignited by plunging grilled magnesium into pure oxygen gas. I also like candles which can instantaneously illuminate the pitch-dark room at night. Observing physical light can be exciting, but to discover spiritual light and truth in one's life would be more enjoyable.
When I was very young, I started to cherish night time due to its tranquility. Meanwhile, I was daunted by its mystery as the dark night seems have any possibility. Every peaceful night, I cannot help but rejoicing a moment staying in a quiet place far away from the boisterous world. I read and pondered while enjoying the darkness and the moonlight.
Stepping into Sophie's World, I met and discussed with sapient philosophers.
"So what is your opinion of the meaning of life?" I asked Plato once.
"Hmmm, child, it is like men in a cave. We seem to stand behind a fire, facing the wall in a cave, while a series of objects are moving in front of the fire but just behind us. However, we only observe the shadows on the wall but not the objects, for we can hardly turn back."
"What are 'fire' and 'objects'? Why can't we turn back?" I became more curious.
"Good questions! The objects are the truths in the world, and it is the light from the fire which guides to search for the truths. We can hardly turn back since we have adapted to shadows, whereas a few of us, such as Socrates and Newton, try to turn back to see the objects with the help of the fire, unveiling the light and truth." Plato answered me.
Impressed by his words, I looked for light and truth in my own life. I read Martin Luther King's speech "I have a dream", which expressed his pursuit of truth-justice and equality, and imitate his oration at night. Sometimes I recall the experience in the hospital while delivering the speech. Gradually, I can deliver King's speech proficiently and eloquently, and figure out my light and truth-I would like to explore the truth behind the nature and human mind in the light of knowledge.
As a child, when I talked about my light and truth with adults, they only smiled. I learn that my light and truth is a "dream" as I mature. People can have different definitions of truth, and some simply do not care about it at all. The dream is so far away; I may never get close. However, King had a dream that seemed impossible once but becomes veracious with every decade. Perhaps someday, I can transmute my dream into actualities.
I see my light in the world of science. While dedicating to study general science in textbooks, I can barely contain my enthusiasm in research. Sometimes, my experiments failed; sometimes, I became frustrated. However, I could always be inspired by the moon at night. We are always searching for something sparkling in this mysterious world, which is like the bright moon in the dark galaxy. The fascinating world of magnetic thin films encourages me to explain not just lines, figures, or data, but truth, truth of the nature.
Probing into the nature of human mind beyond what is immediately visible, I told off-color jokes and behaved unconventionally to observe people's reactions. Once, when I walked to a night class, I saw a classmate running past me. Both of us were late. I asked, "Why are you running? We are already late." "Because I am late, I have to run." She replied. To my surprise, she stopped running after passing me and started walking! I questioned the consistency of human behaviors and hypothesized that we tend to run ahead as long as someone else is behind. In these experiments, I tested, failed and succeeded, using results to critically analyze and get nearer to the truth.
One night, when I was gazing at the moon, a question suddenly came to my mind,
"If one has the power to adjust the weather on the earth, will he want it be wholly day or night?"
I asked my friends this question, and many of them answered "day", which was more cheerful than gloomy night. I smiled. Night will be my choice, for it allows me to reflect, especially thanks to the moon in the darkness, which guides and continues to guide me towards the light and truth I have been pursuing in my life.
OR
Light and Truth,
I remember my first chemistry lesson when I saw sparkling light ignited by plunging grilled magnesium into pure oxygen gas. I also like candles which can instantaneously illuminate the pitch-dark room at night. Observing physical light can be exciting, but to discover spiritual light and truth in one's life would be more enjoyable.
My watch tells me that it is 7:00pm now. Although I just come back and feel tired after working since 7:00am, I still have English lessons later... what a terrible life!
I decide to have a rest and put aside Sophie's World, my favorite book, after reading about Plato again. Are all natural phenomena are merely shadows of the eternal forms or ideas? I close my eyes and think.
I step into Sophie's world and a person wearing Greek costume appears in my sight. THAT is Plato!
I cannot help but questioning him immediately about eternity and meaning of life.
"Child, it is like men in a cave. We seem to stand behind a fire, facing the wall in a cave, while a series of objects are moving in front of the fire but just behind us. However, we only observe the shadows on the wall but not the objects, for we can hardly turn back." Plato answers.
"So the objects are the eternal truths in the world, and it is the light from the fire which guides to search for the truths. We can hardly turn back since we have adapted to shadows, whereas a few of us, such as Socrates and Newton, try to turn back to see the objects with the help of the fire, unveiling the light and truth. Is my understanding correct?" I suggest dauntlessly.
"Clever! But remember that it is regretful when one is so absorbed in fantasy that he loses touch with reality, but it is equally tragic when one is so absorbed in reality that he loses the ability to dream..." He reminds me.
"I dream to search for the truth of the nature and the human mind in the light of knowledge and experience. But, but I seem..."
"Li Chun, wake up! It is time for lesson!" I hear my friend's familiar voice.
I sit up, looking at my watch. "7:30pm. Oh, I am going to be late!"
I hurried to pack my stuffs for the lesson, and see the jumbled table, replete of lab notes, graphical results and research papers, and a stack of science textbooks. My bag witnesses my crucial behavior again: with celerity, I take out fresh materials from my two labs today from his big mouth and leave them on my table. I become excited as I stare at the interesting results I attained throughout the whole day although my experiments have failed for times. I can see my light in this world of science, and I explain not just lines, figures, or data, but truth, truth of the nature.
I finish packing and rush out. My friend has waited for me for five minutes, and he also knows that we are late.
"Don't worry, since we are already late, let's just walk." I suggest and he nods as usual.
Walking to the class with my friend, I stared at the sky, the inky blackness of the night. "If I can stay in a quiet place far away from the boisterous world, I cannot help but rejoicing a moment there to read, research and ponder while enjoying the darkness and the moonlight." I told myself.
Suddenly, a girl runs past us, and we recognize her as our classmates.
My friend asks, "Hey, why are you running? We are already late anyway!"
"Because I am late, I have to run!" she answered while running.
"Perhaps she is a good-natured girl." I told my friend.
But to our surprise, she stopped running once passing us for about ten meters. I become excited and whisper, "The consistency of human behaviors is quite questionable. Maybe we tend to run ahead as long as someone else is behind?" Observing such behaviors, I become extremely enthusiastic and probe into the nature of human mind beyond what is immediately visible. I tested, failed and succeeded, using results to critically analyze and approach to the truth of our mind.
Two hours later, lesson ends. I walk out of the class room, and glaze at the moon which is the brightest point in the galaxy. A question comes to my mind,
"If one has the power to adjust the weather of the earth, would he want it to be wholly day or night?"
I ask my friend this question on the way back, and he answers "day", which is more cheerful than the gloomy night. I smile. Night will be my choice, for it allows me to reflect, especially thanks to the moon, which encourages and continues to encourage me to look for the light and truth I have been pursuing in life.
I will still edit the second one but don't know which one to choose.. Please help.. thank you very much!