Undergraduate / The Importance of Staying Active - UBC What is important to you [2]

I am applying to UBC and I was wondering if the way I present my essay is okay? It's hard for me to gauge if my tone is presented in the right way, could use a bit of help.

WHAT IS IMPORTANT TO YOU? WHY?

(MAXIMUM 1500 CHARACTERS)

As I stray away from the liveliness of childhood and my metabolism slows down, staying active is becoming increasingly important in my daily routine. My dad's major heart attack in 2020 was an important wake-up call for my family to focus on improving our physical well beings. For me, the wake-up call presented itself in the form of daily exercise, through both badminton at the community center and evening runs in my neighbourhood. I involved myself in any form of physical activity possible so I would be able to avoid the same fate that my dad had to endure.

This event made me realize that staying physically active is the key to being mentally fit. Entering the 2021-22 school year, I found my plate to be overfilled. Serving as the newly elected president of student council, working during my free days, being an active member of clubs, and the overall stress of simply being a student weighed on me heavily. It was a feeling of suffocation, to do one thing after the other, and I was becoming increasingly agitated with myself as the days progressed. As cross country season approached, I was determined to qualify for provincial championships again. It was through my training in daily runs around the neighbourhood that allowed for a mental reset to refocus my attention on what I needed to do and achieve my academic goals. This strategy has been an important factor for me being physically fit and mentally sound, and these three months have changed me for the better as an individual.

Please be as blunt as possible. I am open to all suggestions. Thanks!