EJ1809
Dec 26, 2021
Undergraduate / Family talk - EXPLAIN HOW YOU RESPONDED TO A PROBLEM AND/OR AN UNFAMILIAR SITUATION. [2]
WHAT DID YOU DO, WHAT WAS THE OUTCOME, AND WHAT DID YOU LEARN FROM THE EXPERIENCE? (MAXIMUM 1500 CHARACTERS)
I grew up in a part of India where if you are good at academics you are expected to pursue a science program in university. In India, we have exams such as JEE and NEET which you need to clear with flying colors to be accepted into any excellent science program. The pressure of these exams starts building up from the day you enter high school. To even have a chance at clearing such exams students have to join coaching institutes along with their schools.
My teachers, relatives, and my family wanted me to become an engineer, therefore, they wanted me to prepare for the JEE and I didn't have much of a say in this decision but still, I went through with it because I didn't want to disrespect my family. In my community clearing, this exam holds a lot of prestige, and kids who end up going to IITs (India's top tech universities) end up becoming status symbols for families. So, I like many other students ended up joining a highly reputed coaching institute in grade 10 in the state capital.
These institutes themselves have an entrance exam on the basis of which I was given a partial scholarship and getting the Scholarship made my parents believe that JEE was for me. I used to go to the institute after school and the commute was longer than 1.5 hours each way so along with 7 hours of school, 5 hours of coaching and I had to accommodate 3 hours of traveling as well. I was regularly among the top rankers of my batch at the institute but still, I didn't like what I was studying. I used to go to school every day with the mindset of learning something new but the institute changed this as over there it was all about who scores the most marks and the classes were all about solving the highest number of MCQs in a given duration of time and not about learning something new. In my opinion, it was a rat race, and to stay ahead I had to stop studying and working on projects I enjoyed. I regularly had to sleep for less than 5 hours which was harming me both physically and mentally.
Personally, I never wanted to prepare for JEE, I was doing it just because of societal pressure. After spending 2 months at the institute I wanted to leave but I was afraid to talk about that with my parents as I didn't want to disappoint them. I had two options the first one was to try and reach an understanding with my parents and talk to them about my situation and the second one was to continue with how things were going Surprise! Surprise! I chose the second option and it was a coward's choice.
So, I decided to continue preparing for the exam due to which burnouts became pretty common for me. I started falling behind in my batch even though I was working very hard. My teachers started thinking I wasn't studying so they decided to call my parents but my parents knew I was working hard so they thought it was just a phase. Maybe, it was just a phase because all of a sudden my grades improved just like the way they had plummeted and I was once again among the top rankers. But by then I had realized that this spiral will continue and enjoying what I am studying is a lot more important for me than societal expectations.
After spending five months at the institute I knew that my only solution was an honest conversation with my parents and this time I decided to go through with it. In the beginning, they thought I was making excuses for giving up or I was not working hard enough. Initially, it was hard for my parents and me to be on the same wavelength, after all, they are the products of a system that I wanted to quit. Arguments became a pretty common theme in our household for a few weeks. To get rid of the tension between me and my parents I decided to have a one on one discussion with my mom and dad one at a time. We ended up having very insightful conversations I started to understand their side as well; they just wanted the best for me. I was able to convince them that their version of the best was different from what I believed in and wanted to achieve. After numerous family meetings, I was somewhat able to get my side of the situation across. My parents ended up respecting my decision of calling it quits on the institution and they started giving me more academic freedom.
Looking back at it maybe it would have been better if I had decided to talk to my family earlier to be fair that would have saved me months of agony. But, honestly, if I were to experience those months all over again I wouldn't change them one bit. I ended up learning some valuable lessons from the experience that have shaped me into who I am today. Even though I hated it at the institute I still ended up developing a work ethic for life and I even ended up with a level of academic freedom which I wouldn't have had before.
This is a little cliché but I learned how important it is to choose a career in something you enjoy and like. I learned the value of an honest conversation and it helped me reach a level of understanding with my family which I had never thought was possible. I learned the importance of listening to others with a different viewpoint and having a logical discussion rather than appealing to someone's emotions. I ended up learning a lesson on the importance of better communication and how it can solve 99% of one's problems. Those few months also made me realize how important it is to ignore societal expectations to actually succeed. In my opinion, the most important takeaway from the experience was me learning to become resilient and knocking on the door again and again until I got my point across. I am glad I got to learn these lessons at a young age and now I feel ready and excited for any upcoming challenges.
I tried my best on this essay and English is not my first language so I would love some feedback
EXPLAIN HOW YOU RESPONDED TO A PROBLEM AND/OR AN UNFAMILIAR SITUATION.
WHAT DID YOU DO, WHAT WAS THE OUTCOME, AND WHAT DID YOU LEARN FROM THE EXPERIENCE? (MAXIMUM 1500 CHARACTERS)
I grew up in a part of India where if you are good at academics you are expected to pursue a science program in university. In India, we have exams such as JEE and NEET which you need to clear with flying colors to be accepted into any excellent science program. The pressure of these exams starts building up from the day you enter high school. To even have a chance at clearing such exams students have to join coaching institutes along with their schools.
My teachers, relatives, and my family wanted me to become an engineer, therefore, they wanted me to prepare for the JEE and I didn't have much of a say in this decision but still, I went through with it because I didn't want to disrespect my family. In my community clearing, this exam holds a lot of prestige, and kids who end up going to IITs (India's top tech universities) end up becoming status symbols for families. So, I like many other students ended up joining a highly reputed coaching institute in grade 10 in the state capital.
These institutes themselves have an entrance exam on the basis of which I was given a partial scholarship and getting the Scholarship made my parents believe that JEE was for me. I used to go to the institute after school and the commute was longer than 1.5 hours each way so along with 7 hours of school, 5 hours of coaching and I had to accommodate 3 hours of traveling as well. I was regularly among the top rankers of my batch at the institute but still, I didn't like what I was studying. I used to go to school every day with the mindset of learning something new but the institute changed this as over there it was all about who scores the most marks and the classes were all about solving the highest number of MCQs in a given duration of time and not about learning something new. In my opinion, it was a rat race, and to stay ahead I had to stop studying and working on projects I enjoyed. I regularly had to sleep for less than 5 hours which was harming me both physically and mentally.
Personally, I never wanted to prepare for JEE, I was doing it just because of societal pressure. After spending 2 months at the institute I wanted to leave but I was afraid to talk about that with my parents as I didn't want to disappoint them. I had two options the first one was to try and reach an understanding with my parents and talk to them about my situation and the second one was to continue with how things were going Surprise! Surprise! I chose the second option and it was a coward's choice.
So, I decided to continue preparing for the exam due to which burnouts became pretty common for me. I started falling behind in my batch even though I was working very hard. My teachers started thinking I wasn't studying so they decided to call my parents but my parents knew I was working hard so they thought it was just a phase. Maybe, it was just a phase because all of a sudden my grades improved just like the way they had plummeted and I was once again among the top rankers. But by then I had realized that this spiral will continue and enjoying what I am studying is a lot more important for me than societal expectations.
After spending five months at the institute I knew that my only solution was an honest conversation with my parents and this time I decided to go through with it. In the beginning, they thought I was making excuses for giving up or I was not working hard enough. Initially, it was hard for my parents and me to be on the same wavelength, after all, they are the products of a system that I wanted to quit. Arguments became a pretty common theme in our household for a few weeks. To get rid of the tension between me and my parents I decided to have a one on one discussion with my mom and dad one at a time. We ended up having very insightful conversations I started to understand their side as well; they just wanted the best for me. I was able to convince them that their version of the best was different from what I believed in and wanted to achieve. After numerous family meetings, I was somewhat able to get my side of the situation across. My parents ended up respecting my decision of calling it quits on the institution and they started giving me more academic freedom.
Looking back at it maybe it would have been better if I had decided to talk to my family earlier to be fair that would have saved me months of agony. But, honestly, if I were to experience those months all over again I wouldn't change them one bit. I ended up learning some valuable lessons from the experience that have shaped me into who I am today. Even though I hated it at the institute I still ended up developing a work ethic for life and I even ended up with a level of academic freedom which I wouldn't have had before.
This is a little cliché but I learned how important it is to choose a career in something you enjoy and like. I learned the value of an honest conversation and it helped me reach a level of understanding with my family which I had never thought was possible. I learned the importance of listening to others with a different viewpoint and having a logical discussion rather than appealing to someone's emotions. I ended up learning a lesson on the importance of better communication and how it can solve 99% of one's problems. Those few months also made me realize how important it is to ignore societal expectations to actually succeed. In my opinion, the most important takeaway from the experience was me learning to become resilient and knocking on the door again and again until I got my point across. I am glad I got to learn these lessons at a young age and now I feel ready and excited for any upcoming challenges.
I tried my best on this essay and English is not my first language so I would love some feedback
