Graduate / SOP help for Master Program on Construction Management [9]

Hi, everybody! Could you do me a favor? I am applying for construction management in America. This is what I have drafted so far. However, I am still not sure if it is too wordy. Besides, Is there any good ways to make my SOP more impressive? And which part should be more detailed? Thank you for your time!

Dear Sir/Madame,

I am a Senior in Tongji University, and I am applying for Master in Construction Management in University of XXX.

The undergraduate curricula in Tongji University have introduced me to the full range of Civil Engineering. Among all programs, it was construction engineering that particularly captured my interest. To delve deeper into the area, I attended a minor study on construction management during my spare time. There, I had the opportunity to be exposed to advanced construction management theories, like "lean construction". I also came to realize the crucial role that a reliable parade played in schedule, cost and quality objectives.

To put what I had learned into practice, I participated in the East China Structure Competition, where I was assigned to design a wooden tower crane with two partners. In the process, we conquered a lot of obstacles, like how to connect wood components firmly, how to reduce weight with an acceptable suffer in resistance and so on. Through the process of "proposal-discussion-improvement-application", I gradually acquired the ability of independent thinking and problem solving skills.

In order to overcome acrophobia, I took an elective course in rock climbing to challenge myself. With determination and perseverance, I soon defeated my scare and became the best climber in class. It was from rock climbing that I first time tasted entire confidence when others put their safety in my hands. Later the wonderful feeling of trusting and being trusted drove me to join the Rock Climbing Association as the captain of a team. By helping green hands cure acrophobia and build self-confidence, I gained a lot in organizational and interpersonal skills.

During the two months Summer Fieldwork in 2008, I was assigned to practice in Ruijin-Ganzhou Highway Project, where I received a detailed knowledge of concrete filling pile technique. My job started with level measurement and construction setting-out. I soon got acquainted with the Total Station and completed the assignment efficiently. After that I was arranged to department of pile foundation. Due to the insufficient geological investigation there, our team was under a great pressure because of strict cost control. By successfully helping engineers deal with unexpected hard rock strata and water-eroded caves, I picked up a lot of experience in solving geological problems of pile construction. Besides, I also grasped the principle and application of ultrasonic transmission method in pile quality detection.

Luckily in 2009, I was given another precious opportunity to train in the Spanish Pavilion Project of the EXPO 2010 Shanghai. I had never undergone a steel structure project before thus I spent first week reading technical drawings and construction organization design at office. Thereon, I was arranged to practice on site, where I had access to various techniques of steel structure, like bolted flange joint, carbon-dioxide arc welding etc. Later I was given the responsibility to assist the site manager in arranging hoisting and assembling schedule and adjusting resource distribution. Honorably, we later settled an emergency successfully by adding temporary supports to a buckling column which supported a bulky truss beam to form a transfer floor. This experience gave me tremendous self-confidence in emergency settlement.

In 2009, a visit to the ruins of Hangzhou subway tunnel collapse and the collapse of an under-construction residential building in Shanghai drew my attention to the situation of construction management in China. After an intensive investigation on these accidents, I came to realize that irrational underbidding policies, disordered contract management, overstaffed project organization and loose quality control had already become universal phenomena and deeply rooted in the system of construction management in China. The passion that I have for improving the serious situation inspired my consideration to pursue a career in Construction Management.

Among all universities that offer program of construction management, I find University of XXX most attractive to me. The challenging academia will always motivate me to explore more in depth about my area of studying, which I believe is one of the principles of being an excellent engineer. I believe that the opportunity to study in the XXX University, where a sound system for construction management has been built long before, will equip me with the skills necessary to a successful career path.

Thanks for your time. Please do not hesitate to contact me with any concerns at XXX . Look forward to hearing from you!

Sincerely,