yamitohikari2217
Sep 7, 2024
Writing Feedback / Men and women should not share the same responsibilities [4]
@nghiadeptrai123
Well, from my own experience, I think that you should have to fix some grammatical errors:
- "taking charge for" -> taking charge of
- "biased preference of occupations " -> biased preference for occupations
- "in contemporary context" -> in a/the contemporary context
- "was dominated in traditional society" -> was dominant in traditional society ("Dominated" is the past tense of the verb "dominate," meaning being influenced or controlled, while "dominant" is an adjective that refers to a state of having power or superiority. "Dominant" usually describes characteristics or qualities, while "dominated" emphasizes being affected or controlled by another force.)
- "sharing housework with their wife " -> sharing housework with their wives (because you had used "more males" before)
- "financial contributors to their family" -> financial contributors to their families
NOTE: this is just my personal opinion, so if I happened to misunderstand your point, I hope you can forgive me!
@nghiadeptrai123
Well, from my own experience, I think that you should have to fix some grammatical errors:
- "taking charge for" -> taking charge of
- "biased preference of occupations " -> biased preference for occupations
- "in contemporary context" -> in a/the contemporary context
- "was dominated in traditional society" -> was dominant in traditional society ("Dominated" is the past tense of the verb "dominate," meaning being influenced or controlled, while "dominant" is an adjective that refers to a state of having power or superiority. "Dominant" usually describes characteristics or qualities, while "dominated" emphasizes being affected or controlled by another force.)
- "sharing housework with their wife " -> sharing housework with their wives (because you had used "more males" before)
- "financial contributors to their family" -> financial contributors to their families
NOTE: this is just my personal opinion, so if I happened to misunderstand your point, I hope you can forgive me!