streetracer
Dec 20, 2007
Scholarship / Malagasy culture and traditional family - SCHOLARSHIP [3]
Thank you very much for your advices and corrections
Thank you very much for your advices and corrections
streetracer
Dec 15, 2007
Scholarship / Malagasy culture and traditional family - SCHOLARSHIP [3]
hi, i am new in this forum. i am malagasy (from Madagascar), i got my high school diploma and i want to study in the States. please correct my essay (style, grammar, ... ). it's based on my personal statement
"Growing up in a quite traditional family, Malagasy culture has greatly shaped my behaviours and my personality. My parents taught me all the virtues of our culture.
Apart from playing "valiha", a Malagasy instrument, I acquired a certain sense of kindness in trying to keep the best possible relationship with people, as I have seen my mother being friendly with all the merchants at the market, ranging from the green seller to the shopkeeper, getting everything she wanted even if she did not have enough money. This showed me how important a good relation is, whoever the person is, whatever his social conditions or culture are. I even got used to smiling and joking, which turns into teasing sometimes. In addition, I became helpful. I remember, one day, a friend of mine asked me to burn some CDs ïfor his personal use of course; I stayed up very late just to finish them on time.
Likewise, my father is a very ordinary person but he is the most persistent and hard-working man I have ever seen, staying all night long to finish his works, often sacrificing his Sundays. All of his life experiences passed on some tough determination and perseverance to me, encouraging me to take advantage of every opportunity.
Besides, these inheritances forged parts of my personality but I learnt from experiences as well. Before going to Mauritius for the CJSOI in July and August 2006, I had been too naïve and confident to be mature. A Tuesday, August 29, 2006, with three friends, led by our love for cars, we used one without the permission of its owner -one of my friend's father. We were too excited to realize what we had done until the worst thing happened: we had a terrible accident. We came out unharmed but the car was completely wrecked. This terrifying experience shaped my personality completely. Since that day, I have become wiser, mature, paying attention to everything and thinking of the consequences of all my acts.
Moreover, what convinced me about my major is a book. Recently, I received a book entitled "MBA" from a friend of my father's. Its thickness of five hundred and three pages might have discouraged me from reading it but I thought it was worth doing the sacrifice to see if it contained something interesting. In fact, it was a compendium of course materials about management and business from famous US universities such as Harvard, Stanford, Columbia... . As soon as I had read it through, I caught the fever of all these leaders whose success stories are told in that book. Sometimes dreaming of being a manager, in my childhood, I would like to make it real now.
If I could be a fruit, I would like to be an apple, not to strangle whoever eats me as Adam experienced but to prevent people from seeing a doctor, as the proverb says."
don't be surprised if there are a lot of mistakes.
looking forward for your help
hi, i am new in this forum. i am malagasy (from Madagascar), i got my high school diploma and i want to study in the States. please correct my essay (style, grammar, ... ). it's based on my personal statement
"Growing up in a quite traditional family, Malagasy culture has greatly shaped my behaviours and my personality. My parents taught me all the virtues of our culture.
Apart from playing "valiha", a Malagasy instrument, I acquired a certain sense of kindness in trying to keep the best possible relationship with people, as I have seen my mother being friendly with all the merchants at the market, ranging from the green seller to the shopkeeper, getting everything she wanted even if she did not have enough money. This showed me how important a good relation is, whoever the person is, whatever his social conditions or culture are. I even got used to smiling and joking, which turns into teasing sometimes. In addition, I became helpful. I remember, one day, a friend of mine asked me to burn some CDs ïfor his personal use of course; I stayed up very late just to finish them on time.
Likewise, my father is a very ordinary person but he is the most persistent and hard-working man I have ever seen, staying all night long to finish his works, often sacrificing his Sundays. All of his life experiences passed on some tough determination and perseverance to me, encouraging me to take advantage of every opportunity.
Besides, these inheritances forged parts of my personality but I learnt from experiences as well. Before going to Mauritius for the CJSOI in July and August 2006, I had been too naïve and confident to be mature. A Tuesday, August 29, 2006, with three friends, led by our love for cars, we used one without the permission of its owner -one of my friend's father. We were too excited to realize what we had done until the worst thing happened: we had a terrible accident. We came out unharmed but the car was completely wrecked. This terrifying experience shaped my personality completely. Since that day, I have become wiser, mature, paying attention to everything and thinking of the consequences of all my acts.
Moreover, what convinced me about my major is a book. Recently, I received a book entitled "MBA" from a friend of my father's. Its thickness of five hundred and three pages might have discouraged me from reading it but I thought it was worth doing the sacrifice to see if it contained something interesting. In fact, it was a compendium of course materials about management and business from famous US universities such as Harvard, Stanford, Columbia... . As soon as I had read it through, I caught the fever of all these leaders whose success stories are told in that book. Sometimes dreaming of being a manager, in my childhood, I would like to make it real now.
If I could be a fruit, I would like to be an apple, not to strangle whoever eats me as Adam experienced but to prevent people from seeing a doctor, as the proverb says."
don't be surprised if there are a lot of mistakes.
looking forward for your help