Unanswered [18] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by arkaudio123
Joined: Oct 4, 2006
Last Post: Nov 3, 2006
Threads: 2
Posts: -  

From: texas

Displayed posts: 2
sort: Latest first   Oldest first  | 
arkaudio123   
Nov 3, 2006
Undergraduate / 'counting my steps' - OCD paper [NEW]

One, two, three, four; one, two, three four; Why can't I stop counting my steps? The "demon" that caused me to do these repetitive tasks appeared when I had just started sixth grade. It was uncontrollable and was picking away at my very existence. The move to middle school had put a mountain of stress on my shoulders. That weakened me enough to allow the dormant "demon" to take control of me.

At first I was not aware of what was happening to me. There was a powerful compelling force inside me, tearing me apart from the inside out. I continuously repeated the same daunting tasks over and over again until they felt right. My mind kept telling me, my hands were not clean and I lost count how many times a day I washed them. I felt like billions of germs were eating them away. Like an infant bird falling from its nest into a river full of piranhas, where the fish clean it to the bones in minutes. My hands got so dry that sometimes they would crack and bleed. Putting lotion on my hands only caused them to burn intensely; I wanted to tear off my skin. Tying my shoes before school seemed endless. The lace ends had to be perfectly lined up and equal, so I was constantly retying them until they were just right. Then my back would start to ache from having to lean over for so long. This process took up to half an hour, making me late for school. Walking became a constant battle; I had to count my steps and if I miscounted, I had to walk back to where I started and begin again. My numerous rituals delayed me getting to bed well past midnight, resulting in my missing four straight days of the third week of school. I wondered how something so terrible could happen to me.

These repeated tasks had a draining effect on me psychologically and had started to take their toll. I was in a constant state of depression, I felt if had dug myself into a dark hole that could not go any deeper. My eyes were always dry and brittle from the constant uncontrollable crying. Because of all the time I spent focused on rituals, I was not meeting new students and making friends. I felt like an outcast to society and a burden on those I love. I even had thoughts of suicide, though I would never do it, the idea laid strongly in the back of my mind. I was constantly weak and sluggish I did not want to leave my bed, because I was afraid the urges inside of me, might drive me to the edge, of no return.

My mother, recognizing the symptoms, immediately took me to a specialist in Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. I learned OCD episodes can start or be triggered by unbearable stress or by enormous changes. Also, I learned OCD could not be cured, but controlled. Slowly the therapist taught me how to tame the "demon" with the aid of Cognitive Therapy and medication. The sessions were intense and brutal; I could not watch my mother cry anymore, since she felt hopeless to help me. One of the most agonizing sessions, was learning to tie my shoes without the laces being perfect. Over and over again I tied and untied them until I could do it with little anxiety.

The OCD also gave me obsessive slowness and perfectionism. Make-up and current school assignments were a slow struggle as my words had to be written and spaced neatly. My papers would end up with more scratch marks than words. It would take me hours to complete an assignment that should have only taken fifteen minutes. The demon had "wired me awake, And hit me with a hand of broken nails, You tied my lead and pulled my chain, To watch my blood begin to boil, But I'm gonna break, I'm gonna break my, I'm gonna break my rusty cage and run." Slowly, with the help of understanding teachers, determination, and self-control, I began to overcome most of my compulsions. By the end of middle school, the work was less strenuous and I did not regret waking up every morning. Throughout high school I could feel my improvement as each year went by. I did well my freshman year and even better my sophomore year. My junior year was the ultimate proof I was doing better, when I received an Academic Excellence Award.

Today the "demon" still lies inside my head trying everyday to regain control. It will never fully go away, and I have learned to control it and realize that this no longer be one of my greatest adversaries. I have fought hard to overcome difficulties and to do my best in school. Even thought OCD has had many negative effects on me, it has made me stronger. Everyday setbacks do not seem to bother me as much. I know that I will continue to have control over the "demon."
arkaudio123   
Oct 4, 2006
Writing Feedback / The damnation of the canyon is one man's account [2]

The damnation of the canyon is one man's account of the effects of turning a free

flowing river into a damn. He uses his first hand experience as a seasonal park ranger to

evaluate the transformation of the region, what he calls as its "damnation". The author

has "had the unique opportunity to observe firsthand some of the differences between the

environment of a free river and a power plant reservoir". However he has a certain bias,

he admits to this, he is what most would call a "tree hugger". He identifies himself as a

"butterfly chaser, a googly eyed bleeding heart and wild conservative." Making his views

to his perspective of what he wants to see.

The author feels that the building of the dam has destroyed the river's natural

beauty and wonder. He is "Poorly and impressed by the concrete aggregates and statistics

in the cubic tons." I understand the author's point of view, but does he really truly

understand the effects of other sources of power? Even tells the readers that think he is

exaggerating, to take a trip on the river below the dam. He tells them to do this so they

can experience nature's beauty. But that does not thoroughly will prove his point.

The amount of people living in America is greatly increasing in those people

require certain needs, such as power. That power has to come from somewhere, it can

either come from a natural source such as a damn or a polluting power plant.

Sometimes the negatives outweigh the benefits that something can provide. The author

claims there is now an utter baroness of the reservoir shoreline. One could argue to that

the baroness is a lot better than a polluted, sewage filled, river were nothing could use it.

The author also claims that area used to team with all kinds of wildlife such

as songbirds and beavers, before the dam was built. Even the author does not directly

state what happened to the wildlife. He says these things are "lost, crowded out - or

drowned and buried under mud". The wildlife could have simply relocated when the dam

was being built. The author also neglects that the damn may have created a new habitat

for wildlife. The fish population greatly increased after the damn was built. Animals and

plants have been around longer than people, they are capable of adapting to there

surroundings. Nature is capable of amazing things which the author overlooks and he

does not give it the credit that it deserves. An example of that adaptation is when a boat

sinks, it just does not sit there and wither away, but it's turned into a home for many fish

and other creatures. Nature always finds a way.

The reservoir also provides many recreational activities, which were not available

before the dam was built. The wide variety of activities may cost more but can now be

available to all kinds of people, who may never had a chance to experience it. The author

argues that before the dam was built, one could make a float trip down the river for days

at low costs. Floating a river might be fun But for some it may not compare to the thrill of

power boating.

The author makes use of ethos, pathos, and logos. The author makes the powerful

use of pathos to people's values and beliefs. He talks of nature's natural beauty and how

it should be preserved. And if people are naturally good, that they'll realize what they're

looking over and destroying. The use of pathos is also used to make people who benefit

from the damn feel guilty, by describing that the water was polluted after the damn was

built. He uses his work as a park ranger to appeal to the ethos. To show that he has a

firsthand account of the events. I feel that the law there lacks the use of logos to appeal to

the readers reason. The evidence he presents his from a personal point of view and not

from facts and he seems to lack of consistency.

It seems to me that the prevention of pollution for a natural power source would

alone be enough to build a dam. The author does not realize that "over 20 million people

living in the Southwest U.S. depend upon Lake Powell for an ensured water supply and

their economic well being." However I feel the author over looks this in his naturalist

point of view. He also fails to provide any facts are statistics on wildlife damage. Which

seems that all his statements are based on his personal point of view and not as a whole.

The author states that nature will find a way to restore itself, but in the meantime and

power sourceis needed for humans. And it can either be provided through safe clean ways

as or by the damaging polluting ways.