lakerkobe
Dec 25, 2009
Undergraduate / "new experiences with an open mind" - emory supplementt im applying ED [6]
Much better written. :)
Much better written. :)
lakerkobe
Dec 24, 2009
Undergraduate / "born in China 16 years ago" - MIT world you come from essay [3]
oh, and I deleted the final sentence.. since I'm already over the word limit, and it doesnt add anything significant.
oh, and I deleted the final sentence.. since I'm already over the word limit, and it doesnt add anything significant.
lakerkobe
Dec 24, 2009
Undergraduate / "new experiences with an open mind" - emory supplementt im applying ED [6]
The first point is not that strong, imho.
Maybe expand more upon the unique emory programs (good) and eliminate or somehow argue paragraph 1 better?
The first point is not that strong, imho.
Maybe expand more upon the unique emory programs (good) and eliminate or somehow argue paragraph 1 better?
lakerkobe
Dec 24, 2009
Undergraduate / "born in China 16 years ago" - MIT world you come from essay [3]
Well ya, any comments/criticisms/feedback will be well appreciated.
Did I answer the prompt? How is the overall impression? etc.
Describe the world you come from; for example, your family, clubs,school,community,city, or town. How has that world shaped your dreams and aspirations?(*) (200-250 words)
In the face of change and turmoil, familiarity beckons like the grain-o-plenty during famine. During my childhood, my mom served as my familiarity. I am very independent now, but I can never forget the biggest influence on my dreams and aspirations during my childhood: MaMa.
I was born in China 16 years ago. When I was five, my family, in hopes of a brighter future for me, immigrated to the United States, a foreign land made only more foreign by our lack of connections or stability. My dad's divorce from the family soon afterwards only heightened this unfamiliarity, at the same time increasing my dependence on MaMa. Despite the shift in country, MaMa retained her stringent adherence to raise me according to Chinese ideals, which place academic success paramount. MaMa preferred a day at the Griffith Observatory instead of Disneyland due to the greater learning potential. MaMa also sternly advised against video games, but showed tremendous zeal when I expressed curiosity regarding academics, especially math and science, her strong suits. Through the change in setting, math was the one area that remained absolute, unaffected by language differences. MaMa augmented my interest by creating problems for me to solve everyday, which she checked nightly. Soon, I began authoring and solving my own problems. My curiosity rapidly expanded to the application of mathematics, thus relating my interest to science.
After MaMa's initial instillation, I have since maintained an everlasting fascination with math and science, whose permanence through change helped me embrace American culture. My comfort with these disciplines coupled with my unwavering enthusiasm in learning about the intricacies of science make me eager to explore the frontiers of science and engineer technologies that could better our world. It is with this perpetual purpose that I pursue my interests, hoping to utilize my talents - in math, science, and beyond - to assist in the advancement of our technology, our society, and our planet.
Thanks a bunch!
Well ya, any comments/criticisms/feedback will be well appreciated.
Did I answer the prompt? How is the overall impression? etc.
Describe the world you come from; for example, your family, clubs,school,community,city, or town. How has that world shaped your dreams and aspirations?(*) (200-250 words)
In the face of change and turmoil, familiarity beckons like the grain-o-plenty during famine. During my childhood, my mom served as my familiarity. I am very independent now, but I can never forget the biggest influence on my dreams and aspirations during my childhood: MaMa.
I was born in China 16 years ago. When I was five, my family, in hopes of a brighter future for me, immigrated to the United States, a foreign land made only more foreign by our lack of connections or stability. My dad's divorce from the family soon afterwards only heightened this unfamiliarity, at the same time increasing my dependence on MaMa. Despite the shift in country, MaMa retained her stringent adherence to raise me according to Chinese ideals, which place academic success paramount. MaMa preferred a day at the Griffith Observatory instead of Disneyland due to the greater learning potential. MaMa also sternly advised against video games, but showed tremendous zeal when I expressed curiosity regarding academics, especially math and science, her strong suits. Through the change in setting, math was the one area that remained absolute, unaffected by language differences. MaMa augmented my interest by creating problems for me to solve everyday, which she checked nightly. Soon, I began authoring and solving my own problems. My curiosity rapidly expanded to the application of mathematics, thus relating my interest to science.
After MaMa's initial instillation, I have since maintained an everlasting fascination with math and science, whose permanence through change helped me embrace American culture. My comfort with these disciplines coupled with my unwavering enthusiasm in learning about the intricacies of science make me eager to explore the frontiers of science and engineer technologies that could better our world. It is with this perpetual purpose that I pursue my interests, hoping to utilize my talents - in math, science, and beyond - to assist in the advancement of our technology, our society, and our planet.
Thanks a bunch!
