Undergraduate / How to approach Amherst Supplement on Science [19]

I did not have a particularly(sounds awkward) significant reason for doing so; the disease was practically irrelevant to my life.

I remember every time she went to the hospital, I ardently*pssionately sound better* dug out my crayons and glitter and masterfully crafted a lovely "get well soon" card.

Moreover, my passion is all the more strengthened by my realization of the beauty in medicine; its touch on humanity.

NICE!!

Undergraduate / Common Application Essay - Topic of your choice - Dreams Deferred [40]

(Should this be a new paragraph, or can I keep it attached to the few sentences before) --- yes break it up, but...

on the previous paragraph your should write: This was the case my junior year of high school.

begin new paragraph with: I qualified for the National Forensics....

Undergraduate / Common Application Essay - Topic of your choice - Dreams Deferred [40]

the sentence isn't awkward at all and yes it should be a new aragraph. over all i enjoyed you essay! :) nice work

can you return the fav