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Posts by jenli09
Joined: Jan 26, 2010
Last Post: Jan 26, 2010
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jenli09   
Jan 26, 2010
Graduate / Admission Essay for Speech Language Pathology-Personal Challange [3]

Hi, So I am applying to graduate schools for speech language pathology and one of the admissions essays had to be of a personal challenge. It has to be from 250 - 300 words. i would typically show my friends my essays but I don't think that I want to for this one.

Please let me know what you think.

There was a knock at the door. The navy blue uniform and polished badge peered through the crack, and I fell to the floor. There was no question in my mind as to why these police officers were on my front porch. The following days were filled with choosing flowers and planning ceremonies. At the time it was all somewhat surreal, somehow I was more worried about my eighth grade math test then anything else going on.

My father was a great man at heart, but when I was only three years old he was struck with a disease. It was not something that required a wheel chair or many transfusions. Instead there were days that he would stay in bed until five and others that he would clean the entire house and do all of the food shopping in an hour. My fathers severe manic depressive disorders prevented me from ever knowing the real him, and also created many hardships in my childhood. The manic episodes were hard to handle, but depressive states were the worst. At times I would be responsible to ensure that he took his medications for the day, even though they did not help much. There were many times that I was woken in the middle of the night to make a trip to the hospital, sometimes my father would go voluntarily, and other times when a straightjacket would be "administered" on my front lawn.

The fact that I never truly knew the good man behind the disorder is what makes his death hard to handle. Even eight years later it is hard to believe that I will never be "daddy's little girl" or have him walk me down the aisle. Yet the idea that he is in a better place where his disorder can no longer afflicts him is what gets me though each day.
jenli09   
Jan 26, 2010
Graduate / Speech and Language Pathology programs (Graduate) [2]

You don't need to introduce yourself. Unless that was just for the website but you don't need to include that in the essay, they have your application they know your name and age.

What did they exactly ask? Was it supposed to be a personal statement or did they ask about your experiences and goals?

I also believe it is Down Syndrome and you may want to check if that needs to be capitalized.

I don't think that early intervention needs to be capitalized either.

I feel like you are focusing on the details of the children more then things about yourself. I just think the essay is meant for them to get to know more about you. Your first two paragraphs are details about the children you worked with and only the last paragraph is about you.

Maybe you should include why you made the switch from Psychology to speech pathology.

Were you involved in any extra curricular activities in college that may be pertinent? sometimes things like that also help.

Lastly, most schools ask for about 500 words and your essay is over 1000. Maybe you should consider shortening it down a bit.
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