chocolatepap
Feb 14, 2010
Writing Feedback / Narrative Essay About My Grandmother - Feedback [2]
Help me revise the essay please. I want to know if stayed in the topic or what. I really need your help
Grandparents are essentials in a family; they give unconditional comfort and lessons in life. A grandmother different religious belief shouldn't, interfere with her grandson love and care. Her farm used to let me forget about our diversity in faith. Pampering the animals made our family relationship grow bigger. My granny's cozy house was our gateway to gain our family values.
Our grandmother house was the place to relax. I loved her home everything smelled older, warm but safe; the food aroma had baked itself in to the furniture. I can never forget the smell in the air of the cooked pizza. The family had a business and it was a little restaurant. We all worked hard on it, specialty my grandmother. In the family restaurant kitchen it was the place to express my "abuelita" how grateful I am and how I could contribute to the family; mostly all the times I burned the pizzas. Keeping up with the business for her sometimes it was sweat and sometimes tears. But at the end of all that hard work, the love was still in the house
I learned a lot from granny since she though me a lot of recipes. She understood my eagerness and interest of how she uses different materials and turn into a delicious plate. She used to explain every single detail about a recipe. When I asked a question, she gave me hints to the answer so I could figure it out by myself. In that restaurant kitchen I learn how to be responsible, neat and undependable.
My grandmother house was not finish. I still remember the pile of dirt in the front of the house. I used to get on top of the hill of dirty and at loud "the king of the world". As a kid a used to play a lot a lot in my "abuelitas" backyard, hunting for aunts, chasing the chickens and sometimes ride on the pigs In some other cases I would climb the mango trees but my grandmother didn't like it when I did. She was scare of me falling and getting hurt. Around the house there were still concrete blocks, with help of my brother we stack them to go to the roof of the house and play until the beautiful sunlight fades away into a night.
In does special holidays when I come back from school grandma always had our favorite holiday's food serve. We always bough a pig to get it fat like they way we wanted. And two days before the holiday we prepare the pig our own self. My grandmother always though me to kill the pig in one hit in the heart. It was really fun and I enjoy it preparing the pig for the family holiday. We all contributed in something.
My grandmother was really into her religious belief. Each day my grandmother pleaded with me. I was ever associated; attracted to her belief. Does never blinking eyes of her seemed to be in heaven but not me.
My grandmother is the type of person that if she's going through stuff. She always stayed strong, people always knew her as a strong women. She would always walk with her head up high. She wouldn't ever let anyone put her down. When I use to come home from school feeling down because someone was teasing me, she would always tell me that "The wind take does words" and that I shouldn't let that get to me because I'm better than that. She would just tell me advice and stories to make me feel better. My grandmother has always been there for me.
She is very active, always helping around in the house. She always trying to make the people in the house feel comfortable and relax. But she saved so times for the one the really loves, at night, she sits in her big read seat to hear our story and problems. At the end of the night she always brightened someone's day. In the morning she would wake us up with a big cup of coffee with delicious smell of a crunchy sandwich.
Our grandmother was a very old fashioned but was a very giving person. She didn't have any type of ambition in her heart. She used to help everyone around in the community. When she seen someone feeling down she would always help them out. She always told me to always help other and I'm a son of god and I need to respect. My grandmother was the kind loving caring grandmother that a child needs.
My grandmother always used to help me with socials problems in school how to battles diversity and be more then what I am. As I grow up I realize how important she is in my life. She was a very big influence in my life. For me my grandmother was very essential in my life and others.
Help me revise the essay please. I want to know if stayed in the topic or what. I really need your help
Grandparents are essentials in a family; they give unconditional comfort and lessons in life. A grandmother different religious belief shouldn't, interfere with her grandson love and care. Her farm used to let me forget about our diversity in faith. Pampering the animals made our family relationship grow bigger. My granny's cozy house was our gateway to gain our family values.
Our grandmother house was the place to relax. I loved her home everything smelled older, warm but safe; the food aroma had baked itself in to the furniture. I can never forget the smell in the air of the cooked pizza. The family had a business and it was a little restaurant. We all worked hard on it, specialty my grandmother. In the family restaurant kitchen it was the place to express my "abuelita" how grateful I am and how I could contribute to the family; mostly all the times I burned the pizzas. Keeping up with the business for her sometimes it was sweat and sometimes tears. But at the end of all that hard work, the love was still in the house
I learned a lot from granny since she though me a lot of recipes. She understood my eagerness and interest of how she uses different materials and turn into a delicious plate. She used to explain every single detail about a recipe. When I asked a question, she gave me hints to the answer so I could figure it out by myself. In that restaurant kitchen I learn how to be responsible, neat and undependable.
My grandmother house was not finish. I still remember the pile of dirt in the front of the house. I used to get on top of the hill of dirty and at loud "the king of the world". As a kid a used to play a lot a lot in my "abuelitas" backyard, hunting for aunts, chasing the chickens and sometimes ride on the pigs In some other cases I would climb the mango trees but my grandmother didn't like it when I did. She was scare of me falling and getting hurt. Around the house there were still concrete blocks, with help of my brother we stack them to go to the roof of the house and play until the beautiful sunlight fades away into a night.
In does special holidays when I come back from school grandma always had our favorite holiday's food serve. We always bough a pig to get it fat like they way we wanted. And two days before the holiday we prepare the pig our own self. My grandmother always though me to kill the pig in one hit in the heart. It was really fun and I enjoy it preparing the pig for the family holiday. We all contributed in something.
My grandmother was really into her religious belief. Each day my grandmother pleaded with me. I was ever associated; attracted to her belief. Does never blinking eyes of her seemed to be in heaven but not me.
My grandmother is the type of person that if she's going through stuff. She always stayed strong, people always knew her as a strong women. She would always walk with her head up high. She wouldn't ever let anyone put her down. When I use to come home from school feeling down because someone was teasing me, she would always tell me that "The wind take does words" and that I shouldn't let that get to me because I'm better than that. She would just tell me advice and stories to make me feel better. My grandmother has always been there for me.
She is very active, always helping around in the house. She always trying to make the people in the house feel comfortable and relax. But she saved so times for the one the really loves, at night, she sits in her big read seat to hear our story and problems. At the end of the night she always brightened someone's day. In the morning she would wake us up with a big cup of coffee with delicious smell of a crunchy sandwich.
Our grandmother was a very old fashioned but was a very giving person. She didn't have any type of ambition in her heart. She used to help everyone around in the community. When she seen someone feeling down she would always help them out. She always told me to always help other and I'm a son of god and I need to respect. My grandmother was the kind loving caring grandmother that a child needs.
My grandmother always used to help me with socials problems in school how to battles diversity and be more then what I am. As I grow up I realize how important she is in my life. She was a very big influence in my life. For me my grandmother was very essential in my life and others.
