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Posts by Demha
Joined: Feb 19, 2010
Last Post: Feb 19, 2010
Threads: 1
Posts: 1  

From: Alexandria

Displayed posts: 2
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Demha   
Feb 19, 2010
Writing Feedback / THE PROCESS OF FORGIVENESS, BLAME, AND SELF-ACCEPTANCE [3]

Hi
Overall great essay. But I'm sure that your readers will be much happier if you stop using profanity.
I was very confused while reading about your friends, in the same way that that linmark explained.
Also, I thought using a quote from "My son, the stranger" added taste to the essay and offered a deeper dimension to your readers.

I know it's a first draft, so excellent is how I'd describe it. Kudos to you!
Demha   
Feb 19, 2010
Writing Feedback / Is persistence all that is needed to be successful? - A SAT essay [3]

"People who have achieved success do not give up easily. On the other hand, people who fall short of their goals give up too soon. Persistence is in the blood of those who make it to the top. You simply can't get there without it."

Adapted from Roger Cameron

Assignment: Is persistence all that is needed to be successful?

Roger Carmen said: "Persistence is in the blood of those who make it to the top," and that is true in the sense of 'quitters never win and winners never quit,' but perhaps what he should have said is: "Persistence, among other things..." Although it is probably the greatest key to success, other indispensable element are essential in order to succeed; in fact, if persistence is the key to success, then patience, will and motivation are its teeth.

Everyone knows that persistence creates great minds and deep characters and maybe even history, as in the case of Thomas Edison who was quoted saying: "If I find 10,000 ways of something won't work, I haven't failed. I am not discouraged, because every wrong attempt discarded is another step forward." and, maybe a more notable character, Abraham Lincoln, who despite being born into poverty, losing 8 elections, failing twice in business and suffering from a nervous breakdown -needless to say, failure and trouble were his friends- managed to become one of the nation's most prominent presidents. What many people discard or overlook, perhaps intentionally, is the prodigious cost of persistence; sometimes it can be too costly and not many people are willing to pay it. Aside from the cost, others neglect more important people or things in their lives like friends or family members, which isn't all too good.

My opinion is that persistence can be a curse and a blessing at the same time, but if it is an inherent characteristic, then it will make its owner rise to greatness. And it is that dimension in the persona of a human being, albeit too often unappreciated, that creates influential examples, which is exactly how nations develop.
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