jimmy1983
Mar 19, 2010
Writing Feedback / I believe that both classmates and parents have considerable influence on children [4]
Topic: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement ? Classmates are more important influence than parents on a child's success in school. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer
In line with development of children, interaction between them and their around environment is concerned by people, because it decides potential child's success in school, in life generally. People argue that child's success is significantly affected by their classmates more than their parents. However, in my point of view, I believe that both classmates and parents have considerable influence on this equally. This essay is going to outline the issue in detail.
First of all, in contemporary society nowadays, children seem spend much time in school, therefore they can share many things in common; such as age, lifestyle, opinion, etc to exchange views, and then easy get impact each others. For example, I have a friend whose name is Jay. At the beginning of each academic year, we set up our common goals, share our studying method and knowledge. In the end, we got high marks in every academic year and then graduated with good bachelor degrees.
Next, parents also play a key role in the development of children on being success. Indeed, motivation of children tend to come from parents' care. For example, if parent usually monitor progress of children in their study at school, guide them about future career and talk to them about how important of studying to help them thoroughly about the benefits, they will become a good person, a successful person.
In conclusion, a child's success depend on several factors. Among these factors, parents and classmates are outstanding elements. They help children get their goals and the best results in school.
I would appreciate someone can help me to value how bad and good it is
Thanks
Topic: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement ? Classmates are more important influence than parents on a child's success in school. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer
In line with development of children, interaction between them and their around environment is concerned by people, because it decides potential child's success in school, in life generally. People argue that child's success is significantly affected by their classmates more than their parents. However, in my point of view, I believe that both classmates and parents have considerable influence on this equally. This essay is going to outline the issue in detail.
First of all, in contemporary society nowadays, children seem spend much time in school, therefore they can share many things in common; such as age, lifestyle, opinion, etc to exchange views, and then easy get impact each others. For example, I have a friend whose name is Jay. At the beginning of each academic year, we set up our common goals, share our studying method and knowledge. In the end, we got high marks in every academic year and then graduated with good bachelor degrees.
Next, parents also play a key role in the development of children on being success. Indeed, motivation of children tend to come from parents' care. For example, if parent usually monitor progress of children in their study at school, guide them about future career and talk to them about how important of studying to help them thoroughly about the benefits, they will become a good person, a successful person.
In conclusion, a child's success depend on several factors. Among these factors, parents and classmates are outstanding elements. They help children get their goals and the best results in school.
I would appreciate someone can help me to value how bad and good it is
Thanks