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Posts by Teufel
Joined: Apr 12, 2010
Last Post: Apr 15, 2010
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Teufel   
Apr 15, 2010
Undergraduate / Assistance with: Common App Influential Figure Essay [5]

He, more than any other person, is the most responsible for who I am today via his own philosophy and the power of his example.

You need to change the italicized part. The meaning is not so clear

Unless a student and his or her family is able to afford an education outright, the only other option was subsidized by the governmentfor only the most intelligent students who qualified through Regional and National exams.

The sentences following the follwing para are not in sync with what you have mentioned

Overall the essay is a good one. But i feel that it needs better organization.
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