Posts by George Smith

George Smith

Apr 30, 2010

Undergraduate / "I have no health insurance" - Transfer Essay E- Important Issue [12]

Looking at it now, I agree with you. My sense of humor is a little dry and doesn't really come across here, especially with the subject matter. Great advice!

Drew

George Smith

Apr 28, 2010

Undergraduate / "I have no health insurance" - Transfer Essay E- Important Issue [12]

I see what you are saying. I was going for an ironic approach, like- My name is George and I am an alcoholic, type feel. I was on the fence about this approach, but still kind of like the humor. I think I am going to write it both ways, and see how I feel about it.

George Smith

Apr 26, 2010

Undergraduate / "I have no health insurance" - Transfer Essay E- Important Issue [12]

Here is an updated version- a little editing here and there and some content changes, but I retained a lot of the original feel I was going for. Again, any help would be greatly appreciated.

George Smith

Apr 23, 2010

Undergraduate / "I have no health insurance" - Transfer Essay E- Important Issue [12]

Kevin and Azeri-

Great tips, I will absolutely incorporate these ideas. I was thinking about doing some research into health care topics for my own edification, so it makes sense that I should include what I find in this topic essay. Kevin, I actually remember reading this article when it was first published, I had just forgotten about it. Like I said, this was just a first shot, I really just wanted to know if I was starting off in a good direction. Thanks for the great feedback, I shall post my revisions when I have a rewrite finished.

Drew

George Smith

Apr 21, 2010

Undergraduate / Interest in transferring - What I felt I was always missing [3]

Overall, I think you have a good direction. I would refrain from speaking negatively about your previous two schools, since this may convey the idea that you will never be satisfied with what you have and will always see the grass is greener on the other side.

Now, having said that, I think you should concentrate on the positive aspects that transferring would be to you, such as the research opportunities or the graduate programs.

If there is more that comes with attending a university on the tier of *NAME OF SCHOOL*, then I am ignorant to it and could only be all the more appreciative.

You could probably do away with this kind of statement. I see what you are getting at, but treat this essay like you would a job interview. You would never use the word ignorant about yourself in a job interview, and probably shouldn't here. Another way to phrase this idea would be:

"I know there are many more possibilities and benefits to attending *NAME OF SCHOOL* and I am excited to explore them all."

Or something like that. Again, play up how this transfer will benefit you in a way that your current school and your past school did not. Also, I think if you explain why you will finish your degree with *NAME OF SCHOOL* then you will allay concerns that you are just passing through without an idea of what you really want.

Hope some of this helps- I am a transfer applicant as well, so I understand where you are coming from in your essay. Good luck!

George Smith

Apr 21, 2010

Undergraduate / "I have no health insurance" - Transfer Essay E- Important Issue [12]

Here are the instructions:
E

Personal Essay

Choose an issue of importance to you - the issue could be personal, school related, local, political, or international in scope - and write an essay in which you explain the significance of that issue to yourself, your family, your community, or your generation.

Here is my essay- it is very rough, as I just wrote it all in one sitting and in one flow. This is actually my second time applying to UT, as my first application was denied. I am completely re-writing my E Topic essay and transfer resume, since I believe these were the weakest parts of my first application. Any help would be greatly appreciated. And without further ado:

G. Andrew Smith

Topic E Essay for University of Texas Transfer Application

Hello, my name is George, and I have no health insurance. I am 32 years old, a server in the restaurant industry, engaged to be married, own my own house, and am attending school to pursue a career in software engineering. I cannot afford health insurance, yet I cannot afford any accident or sickness which require a hospital visit. I cannot afford annual checkups, preventative medical exams, or dental cleanings. I have a vested interest in the outcomes of the heath care bill.

I watch the debates and follow the news regarding the progress of the current health care reform and I have feelings of hope and despair at the same time. I am not a political creature. I have my views and I vote, but I do not want to run for political office or attend a political protest or rally. I consider myself relatively well informed, yet I do not understand why health care reform is proving so difficult. I look to other first world nations and see that they have health care for their citizens. Those programs are not without faults, but they do work better than nothing. We have nothing right now. If I were to break my arm, I would be stuck with a bill for well over 1500 USD. The lowest monthly health insurance plan my fiance and I qualify for is priced at 600 USD per month for the two of us. If I were to break my arm in London as a tourist, I would owe nothing. If I went to Canada, France, or Germany, I would owe nothing. Health care costs are not only lower per person in these nations, but is provided to their citizens with little to no upfront costs. Yes, taxes are higher, but the quality of life is about the same. I can earn the same amount of money as in the United States, get taxed more, have more civil services, and enjoy the same quality of life. Why would I not want that?

The debates surrounding health care have bordered on the absurd. Hearing one tragically misinformed political figure slam the health care reform bill because of "death panels" being included in end of life counseling amuses me. Hearing ordinary citizens take up the rallying cry of "death panels" without knowing what they are talking about saddens me. I have read much of the reform bill and many articles fact checking politicians' talking points. I learned that there are no "death panels" deciding the fates of our sick and elderly. I leaned that there are provisions for optional end of life counseling included in the bill, as in counseling family members on the options they have for the end of life care of their loved one. I learned that the fear-mongering tactics using this particular issue originated with President Bill Clinton's attempt at universal health care reform. Back then it was a successful tactic, so it is being used again. Why are socialized programs so threatening to some people when we already have two socialized medical programs: MediCare and Medicaid. Why is Social Security not being protested against, or public schools, or public roads? These are socialized programs, meant for anyone to use and paid for by everyone. I view health care as another program which will benefit from being socialized.

The health care bill is a very large step towards a better America. Not everyone will agree with this, and that is fine. It is my opinion, and it is how I will vote and participate in our democracy. As of now, there are still many issues being worked out before the bill can be implemented. The dissenting voices are many, and they are loud. Party tactics will continue to play a large role in how the final bill will be structured. I have put my faith in Obama and his administration to take the steps necessary so universal health care may one day become a reality, and not just a political platform. I will continue to follow the developments and I will continue to voice my opinion through my votes. By participating in our democracy, I can help shape our future.