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Posts by dudmaker
Joined: May 12, 2008
Last Post: May 12, 2008
Threads: 1
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From: United States of America

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dudmaker   
May 12, 2008
Poetry / A limerick I wrote, can u help me perfect it??? [2]

There once was a banker named Embers
who kept everyone's cash against dangers
Then One day
A farmer came in
To store
His money from strangers
But with him, a cow
was big and fat
Who was as hungry as a man
Who could eat a cat.
Now the cow decided
Since there was no grass
He'd have to eat
Only the greens
That he could see
So he broke into the safe
And carried away
All the money
That was left that day
He chowed down on his greens
And Yummed, and Grummed
And Meowed and Wowed
Until the money was gone
Then the next day
The banker woke-up
He checked the safe
But found everything gone
He screamed and screamed
And ran in a circle.
Until finally
he started to chant
"There once was a banker named Embers
who kept everyone's cash against dangers"

Could someone help me edit this? I would really appreciate it if someone could tell me if they think there is a way to give it more of a rythm. Thx!!
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