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Posts by MajorTom
Joined: Aug 30, 2010
Last Post: Aug 30, 2010
Threads: 1
Posts: 1  
From: United States of America

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MajorTom   
Aug 30, 2010
Undergraduate / "volunteering in a prominent local hospital," 150 WORDS COMMON APP ESSAY [12]

Your essay comes across as generic.

HAVE SOME FUN!
Your colleges will be reading this and figuring out who you are from this. You did give very good examples of experience, and you painted an image of who you are, but you must communicate with more than just subject/adverb/verb/Direct object. Your essay should hold some meaning between the lines.

Take what you have and write it in a way that conveys opinions, ideas - general stuff (i.e. opinion on education, etc. etc.)

Throw some flavor on this bland taco of yours and you'll have a winning essay
MajorTom   
Aug 30, 2010
Undergraduate / "This will be my last summer class at Saint Thomas", Another Concise Narrative [4]

In the space provided, please write a concise narrative in which you describe a meaningful event, experience or accomplishment in your life and how it will affect your college experience or your contribution to the UF campus community. You may want to reflect on your ideas about student responsibility, academic integrity, campus citizenship or a call to service.

"This will be my last summer class at Saint Thomas" I thought. I scanned the list of summer courses. There must have been a dozen or so, ranging in discipline from Web Design to Sociology. Fortunately, I had completed my core curriculum, so this would be a choice based solely on my interest and without the iron fist of the guidance department to drive me into a "proper" class. As I scanned the list, one course caught my eye: Introduction to Acting. It was at that moment, that I had decided my class. I had decided to take a class solely for my own benefit. For the first time; I had truly picked a class for me. The experience was exhilarating.

On the drive towards my first day of acting class, I thought about who would be populating the class. Perhaps it would be full of experienced thespians ready to flex some theatrical muscle. Or maybe it would be filled with actors to be: naives in the ways of building character, hoping to improve their craft to be. As I entered the room that Monday morning it became clear that neither of my assumptions were accurate. The room was filled with some twenty underclassmen, most of which hoping to fulfill their mandatory fine arts credit. Needless to say I was disappointed; however, I decided that despite this, I would not let it make my experience in class any less enjoyable.

From the first week of class our final grade was known to us: we would be placed in groups and we would write a piece of performance poetry to be displayed on the final day of class. Upon hearing this I was frustrated. I do not like group projects. Perhaps because each one I am involved in someone feels the need to freeload. When I met my group, it was clear who would be hard-working, and who would try to do as little as possible. I knew that I could single handedly do this project or do it without the one unenlightened member, but that would defeat the teachers intent upon assigning the project. Instead I chose to make everyone contribute. I would ask questions, give answers, even tell jokes. I would do whatever it took to excite and to drive my compatriots. My work paid off. Before long they were all as interested in our assignment as I was from the start. I even like to think that we may have enjoyed it more than the other groups did. The leadership experience I gained from that project will assist me in leading my clubs this year and even those at the University of Florida.

My favorite part of acting class was not the group assignment. Nor was it the acting exercises that would often wake us up in the cruel mornings of what could have been summer vacation. My favorite part was the freedom. During class we would be given assignments and then practically left to our own devices. In most other classes I have taken, a teacher is almost always looking over your shoulder and this change was what brought the whole class together. I had options. I could ask my teacher for his opinion, or we could bounce our monologue off another classmate. We could rehearse our scene outside or inside the classroom. We always had a platter full of options at our expense as long as we got the job done. Being exposed to educational freedom made me realize that this was the setting I had always wanted to be taught in. It is my responsibility as a student to learn and study and I am ready to do that without constant supervision.

I realized during this class that I am ready for UF. I am ready to make decisions, lead groups and act independently with confidence. I am ready to use these attributes in your clubs and classrooms. And furthermore, I am ready to be a Gator.
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