rhamrick
Sep 1, 2010
Writing Feedback / "Parents should never try to be a child's "friend" - Descriptive/Narrative Essay [2]
Hi! I joined this site hoping that I could get some miracle help!
I'm writing a descriptive/narration essay and my brain is totally STUCK (not to mention that I've never ever done this before)! My introduction doesn't feel right (I don't know how I could start things out though) and the examples that I have need more. The examples don't feel right. Any ideas on what kind of conversations I can make based on my thesis and outline?
This is what I have so far, along with my thesis outline... ofcourse I know that it needs so much revision.. first of all, it's way too short. I really need some suggestions and help! I'm so stuck! Help please!
Thesis: (Parents should never try to be a child's "friend"; they should take on the role of loving authority figures by setting boundaries and limits.)
I. Boundary issues
A. Being involved in everything
1. Sharing inappropriate stories or conversations. (Talking about your personal life, emotional issues, or scrutinizing people in front of them- bad example to kids)
2. Watching movies that aren't suitable for their age (movies that you watch)
3. Going to inappropriate places
B. Permissive Parenting- Not Setting Enough Limits
1. Child has too much freedom to do what he/she wants
2. Parent doesn't want to make their child mad or upset so they let them do as they please.
II. Negative outcomes
A. Later life consequences
1. Child is used to doing what they want to and has trouble following rules in society
2. Child gets hurt from their decisions with no guidance or boundaries
B. Security Issues
1. A child's security is at risk when there are no boundaries to keep them safe. (Kids do dangerous things that they don't think about.)
2. Child as an individual does not feel safe without anyone to keep them from doing something that could hurt them
III. Positive child and parent relationship
A. A loving authority figure
1. Has a loving relationship with child while setting rules and boundaries to keep child safe
2. Treats child like an individual
The day I went to the store for cake was the day that I made an interesting observation about the relationship between a parent and their child.
Before my eyes in aisle four was a screaming, foot stomping child and behind him was a cowering mother full of apology for the child's unhappiness. As she spoke to her son, it was almost as though I was over-hearing her have a conversation with someone who was equally on her level of authority- as if her son were a mere acquaintance that she debated and reasoned with when confrontation arose.
"I'm sorry that we came to the store instead of going straight to see Nightmare on Elm Street. We're out of your favorite fruity puff cereal and you need a nutritious breakfast to eat in the morning. You wouldn't want me to be a bad mother like Mrs. Butters is." The tyrant that I observed staring back at her replied with a stomp of his foot and a flood of crocodile tears, "I don't care, I want my movie!!" Looking around frantically, and almost frightened by the child's behavior the mother gave in "Alright I can always get cereal later on our way to get our weekly tan at Sun City, we'll go. Now remember that when we get there, you have to say that you're going to see Care Bears: Land of Love and Hugs. Don't you worry, Mommy will get you into the one you really want to see." They were gone before my jaw could drop in disbelief to the off-colored tiles that lined the aisles of Shopper's World.
As I made my way past the frozen foods section, my eyes beheld yet another and vaguely familiar scenario. There was another screaming child attempting to get what she wanted by making a scene in the middle of aisle seven. "All of the other girls in my class have low-cut shirts and miniskirts! I want some too!" protested the 13 year old looking girl, "all of their mom's let them dress in whatever they want to wear!! They don't even care!" only this time the mother, without a wince nor a thought of giving in, replied "No. Clothes like that are not appropriate for your age. You are already beautiful just the way you are. You don't need clothes that expose your body to be so." "But I don't care!" continued the girl and before she could say another word the mother had replied "NO. And that's it" and with it came a look that could freeze time. I was sure that even if Dr. Doom himself had announced his worst plans upon her, that stare would have stopped him in his tracks. There was no mother cowering behind her wailing, demanding child. Instead, stood a strong and unmoved figure of authority doing what was for the best of her child. She was as still and unmoved as Mount Fiji and I could swear that Eye of The Tiger was playing its conquering melody somewhere overhead. The young girl, though irritated, stood down and they disappeared into the abyss of the produce section. I was impressed with aisle seven mom, and I was at an insightful comparison.
Not only did I get cake at the store that day, I had taken with me a slice of a very valuable lesson in parenting. Parents should never try to be a child's "friend"; they should take on the role of loving authority figures by setting boundaries and limits because it's best for the child- because love's goal isn't happiness- nor is it to make the life of those it loves miserable- love's goal is to protect and to care for and to guide for the best. So as I sit here, having lost my appetite from eating my cake before dinner, I can't help but appreciate my parents loving restrictions.
Hi! I joined this site hoping that I could get some miracle help!
I'm writing a descriptive/narration essay and my brain is totally STUCK (not to mention that I've never ever done this before)! My introduction doesn't feel right (I don't know how I could start things out though) and the examples that I have need more. The examples don't feel right. Any ideas on what kind of conversations I can make based on my thesis and outline?
This is what I have so far, along with my thesis outline... ofcourse I know that it needs so much revision.. first of all, it's way too short. I really need some suggestions and help! I'm so stuck! Help please!
Thesis: (Parents should never try to be a child's "friend"; they should take on the role of loving authority figures by setting boundaries and limits.)
I. Boundary issues
A. Being involved in everything
1. Sharing inappropriate stories or conversations. (Talking about your personal life, emotional issues, or scrutinizing people in front of them- bad example to kids)
2. Watching movies that aren't suitable for their age (movies that you watch)
3. Going to inappropriate places
B. Permissive Parenting- Not Setting Enough Limits
1. Child has too much freedom to do what he/she wants
2. Parent doesn't want to make their child mad or upset so they let them do as they please.
II. Negative outcomes
A. Later life consequences
1. Child is used to doing what they want to and has trouble following rules in society
2. Child gets hurt from their decisions with no guidance or boundaries
B. Security Issues
1. A child's security is at risk when there are no boundaries to keep them safe. (Kids do dangerous things that they don't think about.)
2. Child as an individual does not feel safe without anyone to keep them from doing something that could hurt them
III. Positive child and parent relationship
A. A loving authority figure
1. Has a loving relationship with child while setting rules and boundaries to keep child safe
2. Treats child like an individual
"Shopping for Cake"
The day I went to the store for cake was the day that I made an interesting observation about the relationship between a parent and their child.
Before my eyes in aisle four was a screaming, foot stomping child and behind him was a cowering mother full of apology for the child's unhappiness. As she spoke to her son, it was almost as though I was over-hearing her have a conversation with someone who was equally on her level of authority- as if her son were a mere acquaintance that she debated and reasoned with when confrontation arose.
"I'm sorry that we came to the store instead of going straight to see Nightmare on Elm Street. We're out of your favorite fruity puff cereal and you need a nutritious breakfast to eat in the morning. You wouldn't want me to be a bad mother like Mrs. Butters is." The tyrant that I observed staring back at her replied with a stomp of his foot and a flood of crocodile tears, "I don't care, I want my movie!!" Looking around frantically, and almost frightened by the child's behavior the mother gave in "Alright I can always get cereal later on our way to get our weekly tan at Sun City, we'll go. Now remember that when we get there, you have to say that you're going to see Care Bears: Land of Love and Hugs. Don't you worry, Mommy will get you into the one you really want to see." They were gone before my jaw could drop in disbelief to the off-colored tiles that lined the aisles of Shopper's World.
As I made my way past the frozen foods section, my eyes beheld yet another and vaguely familiar scenario. There was another screaming child attempting to get what she wanted by making a scene in the middle of aisle seven. "All of the other girls in my class have low-cut shirts and miniskirts! I want some too!" protested the 13 year old looking girl, "all of their mom's let them dress in whatever they want to wear!! They don't even care!" only this time the mother, without a wince nor a thought of giving in, replied "No. Clothes like that are not appropriate for your age. You are already beautiful just the way you are. You don't need clothes that expose your body to be so." "But I don't care!" continued the girl and before she could say another word the mother had replied "NO. And that's it" and with it came a look that could freeze time. I was sure that even if Dr. Doom himself had announced his worst plans upon her, that stare would have stopped him in his tracks. There was no mother cowering behind her wailing, demanding child. Instead, stood a strong and unmoved figure of authority doing what was for the best of her child. She was as still and unmoved as Mount Fiji and I could swear that Eye of The Tiger was playing its conquering melody somewhere overhead. The young girl, though irritated, stood down and they disappeared into the abyss of the produce section. I was impressed with aisle seven mom, and I was at an insightful comparison.
Not only did I get cake at the store that day, I had taken with me a slice of a very valuable lesson in parenting. Parents should never try to be a child's "friend"; they should take on the role of loving authority figures by setting boundaries and limits because it's best for the child- because love's goal isn't happiness- nor is it to make the life of those it loves miserable- love's goal is to protect and to care for and to guide for the best. So as I sit here, having lost my appetite from eating my cake before dinner, I can't help but appreciate my parents loving restrictions.
