Posts by zmint

zmint

Sep 19, 2010

Undergraduate / How/When did you become interested in writing? Pratt Institute Undergrad Admiss Essay [4]

Thank you again, those are all very helpful fixes and I am making use of them.

The one thing, I mean "airbourne" figuratively. My thoughts are transcending, reading Henry Miller. I just really liked the word "airbourne" there, but I suppose it isn't clear enough...

Yeah, I would love to hear any kinds of suggestions and feedback from anyone

zmint

Sep 18, 2010

Undergraduate / How/When did you become interested in writing? Pratt Institute Undergrad Admiss Essay [4]

I'm having trouble with this essay. I'm mostly a poet, so this whole "tell us about yourself" auto biography narration thing is baffling me. But I forced this out this morning, and I would appreciate any and all suggestions. Thank you so much! I'm also about 50 words over the maximum for words allowed, so any suggestions on what I could cut would be great as well.

Describe when and how you became interested in art, design, writing, architecture, or the particular major to which you are applying. Describe how this interested has manifested itself in your daily life. The essay should be 250-500 words.

The only way I can describe how writing became the medium through which I define my world is by first explaining how the practice of reading defined my life.

I had begun to read before I started kindergarten, but the turning point in my reading career occured sometime during the second grade, when I became sick and missed a week of school. That first sick afternoon, my dad announced that he was going to read "To Kill A Mockingbird" out loud to me. I remember feeling apprehensive, quite skeptical at the possibility of enjoying any book by father would suggest.

But I surprised myself. I fell in love with Scout and Jem and Boo Radley, and, after my dad finished reading the book for me, I read it on my own. I can't tell you how many times I've read that book- only that the experience reading it revealed to me a grand doorway to literature, and that I ran through that door eagerly and desperately, with an ache, and, I'll admit; a slightly deranged desire to read more.

Since then, I've read an innumerable amount of books, and studied countless authors. Right now, Henry Miller has caught my attention. What a strange and beautiful and individual man, what a writer! I have been airbourne, reading Tropic of Cancer. And I mention Miller because, in reading his works, I realized that I speak of my favorite books and authors not as a fan, but as a reader in absolute and unwavering awe. Books are not books to me- books are manifestations of beauty; the beauty a writer found, realized, and created.

I want to find such beauty. I want to create it, shape it to fit or break a mold of my choosing. The world offers so much beauty, a limitless supply. With the realization of millions of spoken and unspoken languages on the earth, I am given an invitation to write. To translate each language, to describe the world in infinite ways, and to give back to the world in this way. I wish to become a sailor of knowledge and beauty, a translator of the languages of the earth.

I have spoken of how my passion for writing took flight, but I have not yet shared when exactly my passion for writing was born. Because I do not know. I don't believe that the origin of my love for writing can be traced back to a single occurence. I couldn't tell you if I wanted to write after I read my first Rilke poem, or after I was diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder when I became the victim of a bus accident. I don't know if the urge to put pencil to paper happened when my brother was diagnosed with autism and I don't know if it occured when I first learned that love is not always unconditional.

My passion, my obsession, my unopposable and irrefutable love for writing... I know that it is the unconditional kind. My love for writing is renewed and has been renewed in each of my living moments. From each of the experiences that I mentioned; I learned a new language, a new emotion, a new method of communicating to all who wish to listen.

zmint

Sep 18, 2010

Undergraduate / What lessons have you learned from it? -- painting [6]

Grammatically, you've got a few problems, but those can be fixed with a good word processor, so I won't waste your time with comma placements and silly things like that.

I love the feel of your essay, I just think the flow of the intro can be fixed slightly to really give it an impact. This is how I would change it:

Thinking about my childhood days, I must reflect upon days spent indoors waiting for rain to end. I spent most days waiting for the sound of my parents' car crunching gravel, announcing their arrival in the driveway.I spent most days waiting, while other children entertained themselves in lands of fantasy, roaming around their houses, pretending to be gladiators or heroes. I watched on the sidelines, not understanding.Their fantasies were so grounded in imagination, while I found inspiration in my reality.

I think this better communicates the message of your essay. You contradict yourself, I think, when you say that you were "firmly stuck to your reality" and yet found solace in artistic activities, which are pretty much based upon creativity, and some would say: imagination. So, without changing your piece, I offered a way to kind of offset that contradiction. I kept all of your words and ideas there, just re-worded a few sentences.

I like the way you end it, actually. Simple and yet closes out the idea well. I would say your diction is okay, just have your teacher go over the grammar or do a double-check on grammar with Microsoft Word or whatever you use.

Good luck!