Scholarship / "Not a coward" - QuestBridge Biographical Essay: The factors and challenges that... [2]

We are interested in learning more about you and the context in which you have grown up, formed your aspirations and accomplished your academic successes. Please describe the factors and challenges that have most shaped your personal life and aspirations. How have these factors caused you to grow? (800 word limit)

Sitting on my mother's lap has always been the safest place for me. Although she beholds a lovely image, I imagine her as a fearless warrior ready and armed to attack anyone who dared to touch her child. I admired my mother's strength as I watched her work for tireless hours, but, furthermore, I admired her willingness to sacrifice resting time in order to be with my siblings and me. Although my mother did not have a warrior's armor consisting of a sword and shield, listening to her stories about Mexico, her love for my father, and their struggle in America, she became that fearless fighter who protected me and guided me through hardships.

Unlike my mother, I was not fearless. I could not watch horror movies because I would not sleep for weeks. I could not stand in a pitch black room because I would search frantically for a ray of light. Many times I would awake terror stricken and call out for my mother, yet due to her night shifts she would not answer. I would spend entire nights looking at the ceiling, hoping for the sun to rise, and for my mother to show. These immense fears, which plagued my childhood, have been the ones to teach me that great courage is needed in life. I would force myself to be brave or to at least act brave. Not having my mother come to me every time I called for her, made me realize that I cannot depend on anybody to get me through obstacles, especially, if that obstacle is my own fear.

Going through life I stuck to acting brave.
When I once cried as I watched my parents argue, begging my father not to leave us, now I grab my older sister to keep her from doing the same. I feign strength as I ignore the screams because I know my little brother needs reassurance that his family will be okay. The arguments have become more vehement as we face serious financial difficulties. There is always talk about not having enough to pay the bills or needing more, more and more. It is always more, never just right. Although we have cut back on many expenses, and work non stop, it always seems as if the minute we make money, we lose it. Seeing my strong mother's worried face, keeps me up many nights thinking what we are going to do. My father has dark circles under his eyes from lack of sleep, yet he has to keep working in order to get things paid. With both of my parents constantly worried, it is hard to be brave when all one wants is to know that everything will be okay.

Due to our financial difficulties, and the constant arguments at home I have grown up much quicker than many of my peers. As a child, at the age of 7, I began to work with my parents at our small family business. While many of the kids in my neighborhood got to sleep in late, and play with their friends all day long, my sister and I had to wake up at 6:30 every morning to go to work. Since we have no family in the United States my parents had no one they could leave us with so we had to go to work. There we learned how to be waitresses, and cashiers also we learned how to take orders, clean tables, make deliveries, wash the dishes, etc. I remember I could barely reach the counter when I started taking orders. My little head would go unnoticed by the awaiting customer until I asked if they needed something. Our day would end at 6 o'clock, and as we pulled into our driveway I envied the kids who had the energy to play in the streets because all I wanted was to lie down.

Many times I was bitter as I woke up to go work yet, now, I am grateful for that early work experience because it gave me an insight about life that many kids learned too late. I became appreciative for all the little things I had, every toy, every time we went out to eat at a nice restaurant, every vacation trip we took, etc. Every one of these things was a symbol of our hard work, and it made me proud to know that I had helped my family make these things possible. These experiences led me to become ambitious because I was shown how hard work could pay off. By facing life with courage, I have overcome obstacles that would otherwise break a person down. I am still a coward at times but that is okay as long as I do not let it define my life.

any comments are more than welcome please!