nascar20fan3
Oct 7, 2010
Undergraduate / "I have knowledge on the difficulty and pace of the FSU" -tips and corrections [3]
Hi, I am in the middle of finishing my application for the University of Florida and just wanted to have someone look over my essay, suggest and corrections or remarks.
Prompt:
In the space provided, please write a concise narrative in which you describe a meaningful event, experience or accomplishment in your life and how it will affect your college experience or your contribution to the UF campus community. You may want to reflect on your ideas about student responsibility, academic integrity, campus citizenship or a call to service.
My answer:
When I graduate from Fort Lauderdale High School later this year, I will have completed four years of high school; four years of tough, and unrelenting Advanced Placement, AICE, and honors courses that have no forgiveness for lazy students. Instead of taking the easy regular level classes that any average student could have done well in, I chose a challenging level of classes that I knew would prepare me for education at a college or university level. I have excelled in essentially all of my classes, and sit in the top ten percent of my class with a very suitable GPA. From my Advanced Placement coursework in Psychology, English Language and Literature, and Environmental Science, I already have knowledge on the difficulty and pace at which college courses move, and I know I will be able to keep up and excel in them as well as any other class I have participated in.
While my performance in the classroom was more than sufficient considering the rigor of the classes at hand, I knew that alone would not be enough to enter a prestigious university at which my dreams could be fulfilled without compromise. To broaden and enrich my degree of flexibility, I participated in making the school yearbook, the Ebb Tide, where I was a co-editor and business manager. I was exposed to photography at a more professional level as well as how the media operates; both excellent skills to have in today's society. Also, by being the business manager, I have been able to learn the appropriate ways to handle money in a responsible and trusted manner, as well as vast organizational skills for all the paperwork required to produce a yearbook. By the end of this year I will have handled over ten-thousand dollars, and hundreds of supporting documents which results in an extraordinary yearbook that I helped produce and will even own for myself.
I know that I will continue to expand my experiences and knowledge, even more so at the college level. I will be able to define myself as person. I can think of no better place to spend the next four years of my life; a place where anyone from any culture can come in and feel accepted and be like anyone else. The University of Florida, being large, academically successful, and having multiple opportunities for students, will prove to be an ideal environment to broaden my horizons and continue to be a successful student.
I know it is a little short, but quality is better than quantity I suppose.
Thank You in advance!
Hi, I am in the middle of finishing my application for the University of Florida and just wanted to have someone look over my essay, suggest and corrections or remarks.
Prompt:
In the space provided, please write a concise narrative in which you describe a meaningful event, experience or accomplishment in your life and how it will affect your college experience or your contribution to the UF campus community. You may want to reflect on your ideas about student responsibility, academic integrity, campus citizenship or a call to service.
My answer:
When I graduate from Fort Lauderdale High School later this year, I will have completed four years of high school; four years of tough, and unrelenting Advanced Placement, AICE, and honors courses that have no forgiveness for lazy students. Instead of taking the easy regular level classes that any average student could have done well in, I chose a challenging level of classes that I knew would prepare me for education at a college or university level. I have excelled in essentially all of my classes, and sit in the top ten percent of my class with a very suitable GPA. From my Advanced Placement coursework in Psychology, English Language and Literature, and Environmental Science, I already have knowledge on the difficulty and pace at which college courses move, and I know I will be able to keep up and excel in them as well as any other class I have participated in.
While my performance in the classroom was more than sufficient considering the rigor of the classes at hand, I knew that alone would not be enough to enter a prestigious university at which my dreams could be fulfilled without compromise. To broaden and enrich my degree of flexibility, I participated in making the school yearbook, the Ebb Tide, where I was a co-editor and business manager. I was exposed to photography at a more professional level as well as how the media operates; both excellent skills to have in today's society. Also, by being the business manager, I have been able to learn the appropriate ways to handle money in a responsible and trusted manner, as well as vast organizational skills for all the paperwork required to produce a yearbook. By the end of this year I will have handled over ten-thousand dollars, and hundreds of supporting documents which results in an extraordinary yearbook that I helped produce and will even own for myself.
I know that I will continue to expand my experiences and knowledge, even more so at the college level. I will be able to define myself as person. I can think of no better place to spend the next four years of my life; a place where anyone from any culture can come in and feel accepted and be like anyone else. The University of Florida, being large, academically successful, and having multiple opportunities for students, will prove to be an ideal environment to broaden my horizons and continue to be a successful student.
I know it is a little short, but quality is better than quantity I suppose.
Thank You in advance!
