Undergraduate / "while appreciating my brother's help" - common app essay [7]

Pls help me to pro-feed my essay as well as correct my grammatical errors

Have I found "them" out?

Sometimes, the curiosity killed the cat. It was all happening at some eight stories, as I stood at the edge of vegetable farm of the "river", the non-moving river which was fully stacked of algae; since I couldn't differentiate whether it is just simply soil with a kind of green "grass", or it is an unstable stained river? I keep on asking myself.

I was seeing my brother playing kites around there. My mind came with thoughts that "Should I try to figure out the thing?" or

"Should I just forget it?"

I had stumbled for a while. By the way, logically, I should play with him but the sudden pop-up curiosity was now act as a hindrance for stopping me to act logically. Albeit I play few times around the farm, but I never notice this before so I must figure it out because I couldn't keep the curiosity anymore!

Although feeling scared, I take a deep breath so that I was courage enough. Soon, I took heart of grace and tried to step out from the edge with my legs. I was so excited at first, but after a while I had already stepped into the stained one. "Arhhh..." my whole body was dipping in the dirty yet smelly muddy water which full of algae. I couldn't think much more that I just kept on screaming for help, since I felt my body keep on sinking down and I guess that the below one was muddy water. Silent tears of fear started to roll down my eyes, I couldn't control them.

Gosh! Accidentally, some dirty water kept on going into my mouth. I was seriously desperately at that time. I hope that my brother who was enjoying playing his kites would notice me.

After, screaming for help, again and again, my asking for help had answered. There are vague hopes, when I saw my brother throwing his kites and running to save me. His hands had comforted me so well, and I felt bit of safe when he was trying to save me from the "hell". Luckily, I was no more in danger.

At first, although feeling scared, I take a deep breath so that I was courage enough. Soon, I took heart of grace and tried to step out from the edge with my legs. I was so excited at first, but after a while I had already stepped into the stained one. "Arhhh..." my whole body was dipping in the dirty yet smelly muddy water which full of algae. I couldn't think much more that I just kept on screaming for help, since I felt my body keep on sinking down and I guess that the below one was muddy water. Silent tears of fear started to roll down my eyes, I couldn't control them. I felt shamed and I wished I could hide my emotional expressing during that time but unable to cease my tears from rolling down my face.

Gosh! Another "killing" wave came; some of the dirty water accidentally went into my mouth. I get choked. I was seriously desperately at that time. I hoped that my brother who was enjoying playing his kites would notice me.

After, screaming for help, again and again, my asking for help was finally answered. There is a vague hope, when I saw my brother throwing his kites and running to save me. His hands had comforted me so well, and I felt bit of safe when he was trying to save me from the "hell". Luckily, I was no more in danger.

I was not regretted with what I did. It's all because of lack of exposure. Although this experience might sound silly for nobody but I wouldn't care much about how people laughed on me especially when I shared this story to my friends. I could conclude this as somehow a sorrowful of the hidden effect of development that making children losing chances of approaching and even then understanding the beauty of nature! Also, I was the unlucky one who fall into this river but in the same time I am the lucky one that I am still very near to our nature.

Lastly, while appreciating my brother's help, I also started to realize that one would feel so comfort, when someone willing to offer a helping hand to the one who had fall down in somewhere else or in a hopeless situation; it might means nothing for nobody to give helps to someone, but it might be a big count or even an essential elementary for people to survive in the sense that they are able to struggle through the difficulties.