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Posts by Rocket boy
Joined: Oct 19, 2010
Last Post: Dec 19, 2010
Threads: 3
Posts: 2  

From: United States of America

Displayed posts: 5
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Rocket boy   
Dec 19, 2010
Undergraduate / "the purpose of the game is to solve the conflict" - DigiPen : GAME DEVELOPMENT ESSAY [2]

If you select a world location, you must explain:
Type of game that could take place there -- think outside the box
Type of world it is: futuristic, present day, fantasy, Western, science fiction, or something else
Culture or civilization existing in this world
World obstacles that hinder a player: for example, oceans that limit player movement
Ecology of the world as it relates to gameplay
Other relevant characteristics

Game design applicants are asked to analyze an image so that we may evaluate their ability to think creatively and to communicate ideas. Keep in mind that the analysis should be written as an essay rather than simply a list of details. Whether you choose a character or world image to analyze, be sure to explain how details in the image led you to your conclusions about the character or world.

For either analysis, you may expand on the items listed above. At a minimum, however, you must address those listed. Additional instructions about the character and world analysis essays may be posted along with the images so be sure to look at the entire page carefully

WORLD #3
It is a waste land. Broken pieces of buildings imply that the highly developed civilization was once there. However all places are now covered with plants and green. Mother nature formed new species and started to heal the land.

The objective of a player is to be one of the humans and re-union survived humanity and re-build civilization. While the primary mission, the player must discover the secret of the waste land, why the formal humanity had vanished. And resolve the conflicts between the present humanity and other races, such as elves. The player can choose a moral or evil way to solve the problems. Each problem is a well planned puzzle. One of the challenges that the player must face is the world's geographic locational conflict. For instance, the player's humans would require woods to build a house. Elves would try to protect their home, trees. The player has to figure out how to resolve the conflict.

The consequences of the player's action is not entirely depend on how righteous it is. The consequences are also depend on the environmental influences that had created by the action. The decision to avoid the conflict would cause lose of the player's humans' trust in the player. The decision to chop off all the trees would cause elves' rage against the humanity. Elves' rage against the humanity will later cause a war or their refusal to teach humans how to use magic. Magic is an important element in this world. There are some places where the player needs magic to enter. For instance, there is a lake called The Silent Lake, where no wind is ever blown. Elves can use their magic to generate an artificial wind. Or they can use some protection magic to cross the radioactive contamination areas.

Although the original purpose of the game is to solve the conflicts, if the player wants more statistic violence game-play, he can always focus on developing weapons and technology. High technology weapons can dominate and slave elves. An evil consequences will be as the result, but at the same time more humans will support the player.

Level ends when another race is united or dominated by the player. Then at the next level, the player brings his humanity with all the achievements and tribes. And the player starts game with more races. Player has to be either a leader or a dictatorial who would exploit the other races. Other races are more dynamic and live compared to peaceful elves.

The world changes dramatically as the game progresses. Player's decisions could change the world from the waste land to the heavenly utopia. At the final level, the player becomes an old man. The player dies with a final will. Then according to what the player did, the world is either destroyed or lasted. If the world is destroyed, then the player would like to re-start the game. Re-started game's world contains all the progresses the player had accomplished. Buildings, bridges, temple... but all of them are ruined and perished. Player can find small hints of contemporary accounts that explain why the humanity had vanished, again.

The player can keep try to build the perfect world that will last forever or just mass up with the world.
Rocket boy   
Dec 19, 2010
Undergraduate / My Ice Cream Shop- COMMON APP ESSAY [6]

Great beginning but drones down towards the end as you continue. Try and keep the reader engaged
MAN THIS IS AWESOME!
You did explain well overall and ended really well. but I think you got to move a step back and see what it feels like.

can u see?
yes it is slightly boring.
I am not saying it is bad.
I mean it is good but you need to make it more clean and neat. Try to get rid of personal details.
In my case I had this essay. I was so worries whether they would accept me or not. But i tried to get rid of my personal feelings and tried to make persuasive essay that would bring their tension and excite them. Remember those readers are reading thousands of essay all day. You need to make it different so they can see and feel who you are.
Rocket boy   
Dec 19, 2010
Undergraduate / "the inspiring book called The Last Lecture" - Application Essay : DigiPen [4]

Reasons for applying: Discuss your reasons for applying to DigiPen and explain how these reasons relate to your future goals (personal, education, and professional)

Hi everyone Tx for reading my essay. I spent all day to write this dang thing. here it goes XD

I had not been a big fan of sports. They seemed silly and pointless. But all the "girly" things always charmed me so much. They had a song to sing and visible rules to follow. ( I meant that girl's game had more rules to follow. So it is more like a well organized maze that you must follow the specific rules like jumping every time a rope swings. For me football or soccer was somewhat a chaotic game that you do not understand what to do)

So I was always the one who brought all boys and forced them to break their stereotypes. The game, however, got bored as we played them again and again. So we had to invent more rules make it alive. At the end the simple game Hide And Sick became a rocket science. My passion for game grew more and more as it had filled the absent of of my parents; my parents were divorced, and I was sent to my Grany.

After reading the inspiring book called The Last Lecture, I was determined to study in abroad in order to give myself a chance to make my future dream come true, but I never forgot to play video game once a week. It was obvious that I love video game, but I was not allowed to believe it. My Mom was a teacher and my Dad majored in Philosophy and they both went to prestigious universities. The expectation was high. However, at the particular evening, the passion had evoked me, again.

Surprisingly the incident that had woken me (I dont understand why you do not understand because right after I mention the incident I did explain what it is. Can you be more specific what you do not understand?) happened when I was working in a voluntary center every Friday to help children.(I had combined these two sentences into one) It is an exhausting job but its mysterious charm is irresistible. I would be there and do all the wishes of the kids. I drew and made all the crowns and monsters. Sometimes they were not satisfied, but most of the time, it brought a smile on their faces. And the smile brought me back a smile on my face. I was happy when someone could enjoy what I made for them. I was satisfied when someone could appreciate my hard-work. I was filled with happiness when they played with my creations; crown, mask, monster, and sword. I finally could realize the mysterious charm why I could not resist not to be there. Why I devote myself on every Friday.

I love making a game. It does not need to be a fancy game. I just want to make something that everyone can enjoy. A game that can let you forget who, what, where, and why you are. And draws the little hope and the little smile on your face.

It seemed DigiPen could put me a pair of wings and free my dream. I love the fact the instant image of your website is all about video game related information. Interviews, gallery, art works, and showcase. Especially the fact that you guys proudly announce the awards earned. It brings me such a confident. But most of all, the fact that there are people like me, who are deeply motivated to make a game, makes your school the best school ever on earth to me. The love for your school swallowed me that it makes me to praise every detail of your school. Portal is one of my favorite games, too. I can go on and on. I can guarantee you that I will never be a mistake to choose.
Rocket boy   
Dec 19, 2010
Undergraduate / "Architecture; the possibilities are endless" - Why Columbia [3]

Wow this is a great start. Your essay is truly interesting. But this sounds a bit... u know robotic? It does not sound so convincing. You need to explain a lot more reasons why in order to convince people what you feel. Perhaps you can use your personal experiences in order to make it sound or smooth and super. Or you can use those personal experiences to put them all together in order to make it more convincing.

Also try to use WHY I HAVE TO GO HERE! type of message
That helps you to determine yourself and your essay.
Remember! they want to KNOW YOU.
WHAT KIND OF PERSON YOU ARE.
Rocket boy   
Oct 19, 2010
Undergraduate / "Imagination is my playground" - College Application Essay ; Carnegie Mellon [3]

Hi

I am writing my essay for CMU.
To be honest, I am not likely to be accepted. sadly...
I wish my essay would not boring you.

I have absolutely no idea of how this thing goes.
So i read couple of essays of others. Then tried to follow the format.
I uploaded this prewriting because I need advise for the direction + etc etc.
I will truly appreciate your comment.

I was destined to be a dreamer.
Imagination was my favorite playground. It turned the gray colored forest around me into the beautifully charming world. Pictures and memories gave flesh and my families and friends became heroes and villains of the world. I could dwell in the swirling scent of dream forever. As the time went, the desire for the formless dream grew stronger. And the moment when I heard about the computer science, the miracle that gives form to the formless things, I realized that it was the only oasis that could satisfy my thirst.

As I grow old my dream grew flesh and matured. But the "wall" had struck me into pieces. At the moment, I read the book, The Last Lecture. It gave me hope, possibility, the future. I was a mad man. I went straight to my grand father then asked him to send me to abroad. The journey to be here was a rocky road. I was never a good student in my country. I spent most of my time with non-school books. Never learned any second language. Never educated anything school related.

is this too long to be an introduction?
or is it too personal?
should i had to say in third-person?
what should I say now...?
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