Posts by hihihi
Joined: Oct 22, 2010 |
Last Post: Oct 27, 2010
Threads: 1
Posts: 3
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Displayed posts: 4
Undergraduate /
"The Limit Does Not Exist" Common App Activity Essay [13]
@edwardng Um, that was very...vague.
@Kaiser Hmm...I think I see what you're trying to say. I thought I implied that I endured (physical) adversity with the coach part and the first sentence. But maybe it was too short.
As for the records part, well, they're more like personal goals I guess. I saw it kind of like a goal oriented trait..
I understand that I should show more passion. But I don't want to make it sound cliche by doing what i've seen a lot people do, like: "T&F has been my life. I've made a lot of friends, matured, developed leadership blah blah" ... it's so hard with only 150 words. :(
Undergraduate /
"The Limit Does Not Exist" Common App Activity Essay [13]
@nishabala alright thanks for your clarification.
@kaiser you said that I'm writing about how there's "no limit to what
can do"? um...did you actually mean I was writing about how there's no limit on [i]performance? because that line sounded kinda ambiguous...
So do you think it might be better if I changed the first sentence to "Why did you continue joining.."? Because, like you said, the explanations i give aren't really about why i joined in the first place.
I agree about the determination part (I was actually hesitant about writing this part when I first started writing this). The whole point of the essay that I'm trying to convey were why I stuck with the sport and what I learned after 4 years (no limitations on performance). So...do you think it'll be better if I said I doubted myself for 2 or 3 years, but around 3rd or 4th year i no longer doubted myself?
Undergraduate /
"The Limit Does Not Exist" Common App Activity Essay [13]
@nishabala so are you saying that if I take out ephemeral then it'll sound like I'm changing my style? which equates to bad idea?
@everyone thanks for your suggestions! I'll definitely consider taking out ephemeral.
Undergraduate /
"The Limit Does Not Exist" Common App Activity Essay [13]
Prompt was Common App's
Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences in the space below (150 words or fewer).This is my 2nd draft. Please critique me on my grammar/style/overall. Thanks!
"Why did you join?" my friends all asked when they heard about the Track and Field team's hardcore workout. I used to ask myself the same question. The practices were painful, the coach was tyrannical, and my practice results were devoid of any hope of ever seeing improvements in running time and jumping distance. Despair was ephemeral, though. At meets, the results showed that my hard efforts at practice were not in vain; I had surpassed my practice times and distances. However, each year I still believed that I have finally reached my physical limitations. But my doubt is annually refuted as I see myself yielding unlimited personal records. Track and Field has thus allowed me to discover that I am capable of reaching beyond-not just in Track-my maximum performance. So I replied to my friends, "Because I can disprove the existence of limits."
Writing
Editing Help?
