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Posts by flyhigh
Joined: Nov 12, 2010
Last Post: Nov 12, 2010
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From: Canada

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flyhigh   
Nov 12, 2010
Undergraduate / "helping others understand math better" - Common App - Significant Experience (Math) [5]

Yea I think everything is excellent except the last paragraph. Your second last paragraph was strong in how your efforts helped to shape your goals and interests, but the last paragraph could've been stronger than the second last. Try maybe how that girl's happiness further made you want to "spread math", and how her growing confidence affects yours.
flyhigh   
Nov 12, 2010
Undergraduate / Well reflects sb's personality and uniqueness? COMMON APP [5]

Hi all, do you think this essay tells who i am, rather than just a story? If not, any suggestions?
I will look at yours too!!

Person who influenced you. did it in a letter format.

Dear Mom,

I laid my head in the cold pillow soaked with tears on the moon-lit night before the SAT test.

On that Friday night, I was anxiously waiting for you and dad to go on MSN after dinner to cheer me up. But dad's words from a week ago, when I last phoned him, flashed in my mind and punched my heart: "Your mom is doing a regular 'body check'. We won't be home for a couple days. Take care of yourself." My hunch feeling told me that something was wrong. After a whole night of waiting, I gave up and called, but only to learn from grandpa that you were at the hospital, getting a surgery to have your uterus removed.

Why didn't you tell me?

Five years ago, when I was eleven, I landed in Canada with dad. Although the first couple months were heart-breaking for both you and me, I started to shake off the hook and took off to my new world with my fledgling wings. Because of your absence, I grew up, but differently from everyone I know.

I first learned to be a caring adult. Since dad lacked the delicate caring of a mother, I cooked, I cleaned the house, I did laundry, not only for myself, but also for dad. Seeing I could take care of him, dad started to rely on me so much that I took over more complex matters such as house mortgages and applying for visas, things that are never taken care of by the kids were there any parent in a family.

As I started to see myself excelling in family affairs that no one else of my same age could handle, I learned to be an outstanding student and felt sky was my limit. Since I grew aware that you were not by my side to give me security and supervision that everyone else had, I put myself whole-heartedly into studying, into organizing schools events using excellent skills I had gained through a rather not-so-desired process. I felt only through self-controlling and high achievement could I make myself a normal child. Luckily, my excellence in school gradually filled up the holes in my heart and drove me to aim higher, and made me a stronger adult than everyone else.

Ironically, while all these positive changes took place and my own world took its shape without you, I got frustrated at you because you didn't understand me. Your endless questions about my life irritated me, and I even forgot how tender your love was. But I was too naïve to know you were hurt too by the thousand miles of ocean between us.

I am glad how I soon turned my head around. When I devoted myself to the world without you and to the textbooks and school activities, the knowledge taught me how arrogant I was at judging myself, and how I mistreated you and overlooked the sacrifice you had made. Even more, as I was improving everyday, I started to realize maybe you had become more vulnerable, and how much power I have gained over the years to make a difference.

Remember when I was little, we went to a park and I asked you, "Mom, why is the flower so red?" You looked into my eyes and answered, "Because the flower is reddened by the root's blood". I was your flower, your blood. For the first time, I learned to understand what the root did while hidden in the ground and what she wanted to say - she wished the flower to be as beautiful as she can be with the root's nourishment.

Now, as memories of the past years started to flood into my mind, I wished I had never left you. Without your presence and protection, however, I not only became a tough adult, but an adult who now has a warm heart.

Tomorrow would be a big day for both of us. Tomorrow our fate would be linked together again, like the day you brought me to this world. And from tomorrow on, I will love you again, I promise.

With Love