Graduate / "The Excellence" - Letter of Motivation for a scholarship, applying to ETH Zurich. [3]

Hey everyone,
I`m new to this forum. From the threads that I read, I think I can find the help here about how to perfect a letter of motivation, needed to get into ETH, Zurich, with possibility of scholarship.

The deadline to send my application form is on 15th of Dec, which is really REALLY near? I know I`m late but before knowing about this forum I was about to send my form without a second thought. Please help me out. Critique. This is what I managed,

Sometimes one comes across an event which tends to produce an ineffable effect on one's life. The BBC article titled "Artificial brain, 10 years away" forced me to read agape about Dr. Henry Markram's revolutionary vision of "reverse engineering" and reconstructing a "detailed, functional artificial human brain". The "Blue Brain Project" has, thus, impelled me towards a research oriented career in Neuroinformatics and Artificial Intelligence, in the hope of someday contributing to the creation of self-sufficient intelligent humanoids.

In today's world, where efficiency is of the essence and nothing is of as much import as saving time and money, artificial machines perform simple monotonous tasks swiftly and reliably, which humans are ill-suited to. Complex problems are, however, human dependent and not failsafe. Thus, the study of the human brain, in order to mimic it and improve machine behavior, is of paramount importance. The interdisciplinary Masters program (MSc) in Neural Systems and Computation (NSC), offered jointly by the Swiss Federal Institute of Technology (ETH), Zurich and University of Zurich (UZH), "prepares researchers for their first decade of independent research, or a contribution to industry". This course, along with a plethora of affiliated research institutes such as the Machine Learning Lab, the Artificial Intelligence Lab, the Institute of Robotics and Intelligent Systems, and the Signal and Information Processing Laboratory, is sure to spawn scientists and engineers with the key that unlocks exponential technological growth. Aiming to join such a group of elitists in the future, I vehemently seek to undertake the stated master's course with a belief that it is the ideal program for me and that once finished, I can contribute to making intelligent systems the mundane way of life.

Having enjoyed doing complex physics and mathematics right from high school, I succeeded in the engineering entrance examinations and established myself as one amongst the cream of the nation, choosing National Institute of Technology (NIT), Rourkela, Orissa as my alma mater. And thus, successes in the Regional Physics Olympiad (RPhO) and the Regional Math Olympiad (RMO) in school paved way for projects and researches in college. I was introduced to the subject of Image Processing and Computer Vision when I was accepted by Professor Amit Konar of Jadavpur University, Kolkata, for a project on 'moving object detection' in the summer of 2009. During a summer research internship on 'neural network map clustering', in Indian Institute of Remote Sensing (IIRS), Dehradun, I had the opportunity to extensively study about supervised and unsupervised neural network methods of clustering and data mining. My research on 'automatic license plate detection' culminated in a novel algorithm of license plate identification using Gabor Filters. The urge to learn more about cognition compelled me to take up 'face recognition and identification' as the topic of my final year thesis. These projects have had a positive catalytic effect and my enthusiasm is ever-growing. Hence, the NSC program offered by the Mathematics and Natural Sciences Faculty (MNF), University of Zurich and by the Department of Physics (DPHYS), ETH Zurich is certainly the most logical next step.

In a nation which annually churns out one of the largest number of technical thinkers in the world, it is but an invaluable experience and a privilege to learn Electrical Engineering at the National Institute of Technology (NIT), Rourkela, which consistently ranks amongst the top in the country and has also been listed as an 'institute of national importance' in India. Electrical Engineering has not only provided the dimensionality to explore various related fields, but also the background to select and study the ones which are interesting to me in particular. Studying in this very global and conducive environment has given me the much needed exposure to see the 'bigger picture' of things, the competencies to strive hard and be a part of that picture, and the ingenuity to 'paint' a picture of my own. Thus, at the end of my under-graduate studies, I would want to continue on the path of excellence. For this reason, Switzerland would be an ideal choice, judging by the amount and quality of pioneering work that it has produced in the subject of my choice.

An Albert Einstein, a Leonhard Euler and a myriad of Nobel Laureates later, Switzerland continues to be a flag-bearer of global research in the field of quantum physics, space research, cognitive and neurosciences, nanosciences and a large number of other 'newer' sciences. The raw output of scientific research from Switzerland consistently ranks among the world's best. Not only has it shone in technical prowess, but also fostered international prosperity, patronizing international minds with as much vigor as it has shown to its own. Thus, the allure of studying in Switzerland has been overwhelming.

Being an enthusiastic student who likes to take up challenges, the NSC masters program is an optimum course as it will equip me with the right skill sets to step into the uncertain and exciting domain of Artificial Intelligence and Cognitive Sciences. Obtaining admission to this program, jointly offered by ETH, Zurich and UZH, both leading academic institutions with a global repute for research, will provide me with the perfect opportunity to convert passion into profession. It will provide me with the incentive, experience and proficiency to develop myself into a successful proponent of a subject which has abundant potential. The applications stretch from commercial -- military and defense, for autonomous control and target identification or civil, as in hospitals, banks and insurances, for predicting customer behavior and detecting trends -- to futuristic, such as artificial functioning brains or humanoids.

The Excellence Scholarships would provide me with the chance to study and fulfill a dream, and in the process present me with a chance to be a part of the intelligence revolution of the future.