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Posts by JELI
Joined: Nov 21, 2010
Last Post: Nov 21, 2010
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JELI   
Nov 21, 2010
Scholarship / Essay about being unprepared to face the unexpected? [2]

LOOK FOR AN OPPOTUNITY, LOOK FOR HELP!!

"Each snowflake was a sign heaved by an aggrieved woman somewhere in the world. As a reminder of how women like us suffer, how quietly we endure all that falls upon us"(Nana) We as woman are not any different from men. we are still human beings as well, with feelings and opinions. Unfortunately, sometimes we believe that we are not ready to make decisions because we have fears and insecurities, letting others take advantage of our lives. In the novel "A Thousand Splendid Suns" by Knaled Hosseini, Mariam is one of these snowflakes. Mariam a fifteen years old, is obligated to marry a forty-five year old man named Rasheed. In this marriage Mariam is afraid to make her own decisions, letting Rasheed take control of her life. Rasheed does not show compassion to Mariam, making her feel like paint on the wall, by ignoring her feeling and ideas. Mariam suffers a lot throughout this marriage. Rasheed starts making the decisions for her, telling her what to wear, where to go and even what to say. Mariam learns to hide from her decisions, and to let others make them for her. Everyone is the owner of their lives and captains of their own destiny, and we should not let anyone take control of our decisions, even if we have insecurities and fears because there is nothing wrong with that.

As Mariam got older, her confidence was taken away from her, leaving her with an enormous insecurity about herself and her decisions. Since Marian was five years old her mother Nana used to call her "Harami" which used to make her feel unwanted and unconfident about herself. As time went by, life got harder for Mariam. She realizes that she was not only unwanted by her mother, but by her father, Jalil, too. Jalil, the person she looked up to, the person she admired the most "was ashamed of (her)". Mariam realizes that "Nor was she old enough to appreciate the injustice, to see that it is the creators of the harami who are culpable, not the harami, whose only sin is being born." At this point Mariam was so insecure about herself that she lets Rasheed takes control of her life, becoming invisible, her ideas do not exist anymore. Mariam does not realize that it does not matter how insecure she was but what really matter was that even with insecurities she still had the right to take her own decisions, and to choose her destiny just like us with insecurities or without insecurities we are still able to choose our own destiny. it was never too late,for mariam to change her mind and stand up for her beliefs. Unfortunately, she lets her insecurities win over her beliefs.

Sadly, when we fear the unknown, our fears tend to become captains of our destiny. For Mariam, Rasheed becomes her greatest fear, and the unknown was his reactions. Mariam was always afraid of how he was going to react.How he was going to react to her ideas, her opinios, her way of cooking, her likes and her dislikes.thoughout this novel mariam struggles finding herself, and yet her greatest challenge is to overcome her fear. Rasheed takes advantage of her insecurities and fears and now "mariam saw clearly how much a woman could be tolerate when they (are) afraid. And Mariam was afraid." He did not tolerate her at all "walikng past her like she was nothing but a house cat," ignoring her and making her feel useless and unimportant. Everytime it was harder for mariam to find herself her and confidence was totally gone and all it was left was her fear, and her idea of her nothing else than a "Harami."

Is it wrong to let others take decisons for us when we feel insecure? yes, it is because we should not let others choose our destinies. We can always overcome our insecurities and fears by looking for help in others and by being hopeful. maraim never did, and as a consequence, she ends up dying unhappily and feeling like a harami. Mariam never realized that the"moons that shimmer on her roofs, Or the thousand splendid suns that hide behind her walls," represented hope and a opportunity for her and for all women who suffer the way she did. An opportunity to overcome her fear and insecurities.

It is not only our insecurities but the fears that surround us that cause us to feel unready for life.insecurities and fears might win over our beliefs making us feel useless and this may lead us to give up in life, letting others take control of our lives and decisions, giving them the opportunity to choose our destiny. Is hard to make decisions when we are insecure, but it is not possible. Every time when i make a decision and feel insecure, i just go fot it. I rather make my own decisions than tet some one else make them for me. Lets stand up for our beliefs, lets show the others that we are as importanat as they are and that even if we have insecurities and fear we are still captains of our destiny. Is hard to find ourselves when our love ones make us feel useless but they dont own our live they do not control our lives unless we let them. Lets be strong lets learn to put our insecurities and fears aside so we can make choices that take us to success. Always remeber that with insecurities and with fears we can still make decisons and control our lives!!
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