garciadan15
Nov 24, 2010
Undergraduate / "My Perspective; I care for the underserved" UC Personal Statement 1 [3]
I would appreciate it if anyone can give comments on my personal essay.
Any information would be greatly accepted to modify my essay.
Personal Statement 1: Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.
If one were to choose what surrounding to be born in, that would be incredible. Sadly, it is not that simple. People are born into different societies and are shaped by the world, creating individual aspirations and dreams to be accomplished. In my young life, I have experienced memorable events which have opened my eyes to a new perspective in life.
The United States is a nation which guarantees the pursuit of happiness. Being born in a economically disadvantaged family has been very hard. Seeing my father working long hours at a time for minute pay stubs created tensions within our household. My mother was diagnosed with diabetes, which made a bigger burden in my life. I would wonder why the Declaration of Independence declared that all human beings had certain unalienable rights, but somehow, it was not seen within my family. Around my neighborhood, many people lived in the same situations.
I wanted to do something but could not do anything. My mother always told me that if I wanted to change the way I lived and how others lived, I was to make that my goal and be determined to achieve it. I started to believe I could make a change in peoples lives but understood I had to undergo hard work and discipline.
I have come to realize that through my life experiences that deep inside of me, I care for the underserved. It pains me to see so many suffer, languishing to be helped. There would not be anything better than seeing a smile in someone else's life knowing one has helped them.
Thank You
I would appreciate it if anyone can give comments on my personal essay.
Any information would be greatly accepted to modify my essay.
Personal Statement 1: Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.
If one were to choose what surrounding to be born in, that would be incredible. Sadly, it is not that simple. People are born into different societies and are shaped by the world, creating individual aspirations and dreams to be accomplished. In my young life, I have experienced memorable events which have opened my eyes to a new perspective in life.
The United States is a nation which guarantees the pursuit of happiness. Being born in a economically disadvantaged family has been very hard. Seeing my father working long hours at a time for minute pay stubs created tensions within our household. My mother was diagnosed with diabetes, which made a bigger burden in my life. I would wonder why the Declaration of Independence declared that all human beings had certain unalienable rights, but somehow, it was not seen within my family. Around my neighborhood, many people lived in the same situations.
I wanted to do something but could not do anything. My mother always told me that if I wanted to change the way I lived and how others lived, I was to make that my goal and be determined to achieve it. I started to believe I could make a change in peoples lives but understood I had to undergo hard work and discipline.
I have come to realize that through my life experiences that deep inside of me, I care for the underserved. It pains me to see so many suffer, languishing to be helped. There would not be anything better than seeing a smile in someone else's life knowing one has helped them.
Thank You