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Posts by mons12
Joined: Nov 25, 2010
Last Post: Nov 28, 2010
Threads: 1
Posts: 2  

From: United States

Displayed posts: 3
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mons12   
Nov 28, 2010
Undergraduate / Mexican Drug Violence and Myself. UT Austin app essay B [7]

Hi, I am a newcomer as well. My English also has its limitations but I am going to try to review your essay. the only thing I can say is that your conclusion has to be strong just as the essay is. Hope it helps :)
mons12   
Nov 27, 2010
Undergraduate / "My family and I experienced discrimination" - issue of importance [3]

Thank you so much for revising my essay. Your review was very helpful to me. I was afraid that I got off topic or that I wasn't exposing my argument correctly. Looks like the only thing I have to work on is my grammar ( as I always do lol)
mons12   
Nov 25, 2010
Undergraduate / "My family and I experienced discrimination" - issue of importance [3]

-Choose an issue of importance to you - the issue could be personal, school related, local, political, or international in scope - and write an essay in which you explain the significance of that issue to yourself, your family, your community, or your generation.

Discrimination: unfair treatment of a person or group on the basis of prejudice. This term enormously affects our society. Even though discrimination was heavily seen in the past, it still in present in today's American society. For instance, my family and I have experienced discrimination in our lives. Sometimes it was because our race, color, or the fact that we could not speak English. However, this issue has not stopped me or my family to move forward and succeed in our lives. "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger" is what I and my family learned from our experiences with discrimination.

My family and I started to experience discrimination once we arrived in the United States. As immigrants it was expected. The first time my family was discriminated was when she was trying to obtain her ID. This event took place in Crockett, TX the town where my family and I live now. The lady who attended my mom and dad was very discourteous and aggressive in the way she attended my parents. She asked a million questions as if she was interrogating them of a crime. Where do you come from? Where are you going to live now? When did you become a resident? I clearly remember her telling to my dad "Why are you answering my questions? Can't your wife talk?", and my dad answered, "She does not speak English." The lady then replied in a degrading manner "That's what I thought." In the end, she said that she was not able to issue my mom an ID card with the excuse that my parents did not provide enough information for her identity.

My own experience of discrimination took place when I enrolled in high school in the same year. I was only seen as one more Mexican boy who did not speak English and that was trying to go to school. I can exactly remember the first days of school; walking timidly into the classrooms looking for a seat near a person of the same ethnicity as mine, trying to hold myself of not running away from a place where I was the laugh of everybody. I remember being called "wetback", "beaner", "illegal", and other offensive terms that I could not understand at that moment. I was discriminated. I couldn't defense myself of all those offenses. I felt like a little ant that was being threatened by human; playing with me as a toy.

However, as discrimination existed around me and my family so did tolerance and fairness. My teachers and counselors were always supporting me and encouraging me to keep working on my education. They never doubted of my potential to exceed in school. As for my family, our neighbors were very amiable and respectful to us. They offered us their help and support in anything we needed. In spite of all the difficulties we faced, we managed to move forward and overcame our obstacles.

Discrimination causes may difficulties that may stop persons from succeeding. It is an issue that has not yet disappeared from our society. But working together as one union I believe that we can abate it significantly in order for our society to progress.
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