Undergraduate / "Strongest Oak of the forest" - my personal quality, talent [5]

please review this before i submit it
criticize it as much as possible so i can do better, you wont make me feel bad. i probly did not answer the question as much as i could have, i dunno, help me out!

its kinda long, 705 words, so any ideas of how to cut it down its nice, but im still keeping it 600+ words because my prompt 1 will be short.

Any help is appreciated.

Prompt: Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?

Strongest Oak of the forest

At the age of nine, I stepped onto a whole new world in which I had not a clue of its language and culture. It was America. My mother and I immigrated to the United States not only because she married an American citizen, but also because we wanted to escape the difficulties we had in Macau, out home city, in search for a better life. But leaving was the most difficult thing for me, as my older brother decided to stay in Macau, because my mother told her American husband that she only had one son, hoping that he would feel less financially impacted and more willing to naturalize us. My brother sacrificed his opportunities so that I may have a brighter future growing up in America, such a sacrifice that I can never repay. I thought of what he might feel when I was living up the "Chinese Dream" while he was stuck in Macau: cheated, and left behind. I hated myself for that.

My mother and I came to the United States in search for a better life, but that was not what we got. After about a year of struggling with English and making new friends, my mother's American husband cheated on her, physically abused her, and filed a restraining order against us. We were left with no choice but to leave with our only possessions: our clothes and a beat-up Honda Civic. We had no family, no food, and because we were still shrouded by the language barrier, we traveled to San Francisco where our people are more abundant. We found some friends of my grandfather who live in San Francisco, and we were grateful to find that they were willing to accept us even though they already had 7 people crammed into about a 400-sq ft., 2-bedroom, 1-bath garage.

After about a month, my mother did not want us to be a burden on their shoulders anymore, so she rented a bedroom elsewhere after finding a job, and we moved in. We got an upgrade from just our clothes and a Honda civic since we arrived in San Francisco: a mattress and a rice bucket for storing our small belongings, and that also served as our dining table. One might, during dinner, while I was reminiscing on all the joy and laughter I had with my brother back in Macau, my mother suddenly burst into tears. When I asked why she was crying, she suggested that we should return to our hometown and never comeback, because life in America was too hard. The thought of my brother and how our family would be together again immediately flooded my mind. But my mouth spoke differently: "No," I said, "going back would make this all a waste. We cannot give up." I said this not because I was selfish and wanted a chance at success, but because I was persistent in keeping my brother's sacrifice from being wasted.

Surprisingly, my words had convinced her to stay. My mother continued working as hard as ever, while I tried to absorb as much English as I can. Later on, my mother was lucky enough to meet a new man, who later became her husband and accepted me as his stepson. With his support, we were able to pull ourselves together and had arranged for my brother to immigration to the United States, so that we would all be together as a family.

Although I have not fully lived up to my brother's sacrifice, I sit here now writing this personal statement in hopes of going to college to brighten my future after persevering through those hardships in my life, and for that I am proud of myself. Napoleon Hill, a prolific American writer, once said, "The strongest oak of the forest is not the one that is protected from the storm and hidden from the sun. It's the one that stands in the open where it is compelled to struggle for its existence against the winds and rains and the scorching sun." Hill refers to the strongest oak as a resilient individual who never gives up regardless of the challenges that life may bring. I am that individual. I am the strongest oak.