Undergraduate / Oregon Essay - Describe something that you are proud of in the previous 2 years. [3]

Any thoughts, I want to make sure i haven't missed anything before i turn it in. it is almost 900 words so i can't really make it any longer. Thanks!

Throughout my time at La Jolla Country Day School, community service has been an aspect that I have always held high. During the summer of 2009 my school offered an over seas program in Kenya to develop a local school district into a clean, modern environment. Having always wanted to visit Africa, I knew I had to take advantage of this offer. Giving back to the community, whether it is in my neighborhood or halfway around the world, is very important to me.

Arriving in Kenya was a completely new experience for me. It was my first time being in Africa and I was able to experience the sights, the lavish smells, and the African culture that surrounded me. Being a tall, white, foreigner painted me as a stand out when I entered the airport, but if I was to understand the culture I had to experience it first hand. Even though the drive from Nairobi to Masai Mara was seven-hours it was one of the most incredible experiences. As we arrived at the Market just south of Narok (a town), we unloaded our small vans and switched into two World War II trucks that endure the rugged two-hour drive through the mountains. As we started our second journey, children raced along side the trucks yelling "Jambo!" trying to get see what we looked like. I was happier than I had ever been, leaning off the side of the truck waving back at the young kids. As we pulled up to the fence of the school we would be working at, we heard a roar of delight from the young children. As they poured out of the classrooms they grabbed our hands and took us to the front of the school for an assembly. The principal of the school made us all introduce ourselves in front of hundreds of children as they tried to imitate what we sounded like. For hours we played all sorts of games with the children as they wore our hats and sunglasses and tried to mimic how we looked. As much fun as we had playing with the children, as we looked around the school we were struck by reality, seeing how impoverished the school was. The buildings were made out of rocks and mud, and the roofs were sheet metal. We realized it would be a difficult task to help renovate the school but it was the task we had come to complete. Members from the community helped join in as we cut through the groundwork of the buildings and dug into the soil. We wheeled hundreds of pounds of cement into a pourer and helped build a foundation for the new buildings.

As well as working in the schools we were offered the chance to help out the local mothers. We walked 5 miles to the river that supplied the village with water only one of 6 trips the mothers make per day. The water they drank was brown, and filled with disease; it sickened me that they drank this daily. As we carried the water back we placed the water into a large container where it would be filtered and stored for all to drink. Upon finishing this task we walked to the village and were given the chance to go inside the huts and experience family life in person. As we entered the huts a stench of fodder and rotting meat made me nauseous. The sweat ran down my face and flies pelted my face and arms. Claustrophobic, I got out as soon as I could but it was an encounter that I would remember. I thought of my life back home and how fortunate I am, and how these families live off bare necessities compared to our life in America in which there are so many luxuries. They are shielded and unknowing of how the rest of the world lives. It made me truly appreciate the luxuries I have.

As well as my service part of the trip the friendships I made while I was over seas were life long. I befriended a Felix, a Masai Warrior, who had passed his test to become a warrior, the test of killing a lion. We shared stories of our childhood and how we grew up. He told me about how he fetched and hunted for food. He boasted his prestige as a hunter and showed me how to use a bow and arrow. Unable to comprehend the vast difference in lifestyles we still enjoyed sharing our differences. To this day we send letters back and forth keeping up with each other and allows me to keep in contact with a close friend. A friendship I hope lasts a long time.

Even though we returned home two weeks after, our job was not complete. The group of kids including myself that went on the trip set up school fundraisers, bake sales, and charity events to help raise money to buy meal plans and mosquito nets for the schools. Going on the trip to Kenya that summer opened my eyes to multitudes of community service events in my area. Working with the community service board, I was able to help out with Aids tent events as well as the annual Walk for Water walk in Mission Bay, San Diego. All of which have proceeds that go to African States. My experiences and friendships I made will last with me forever and it is an experience that I am very proud of.

Undergraduate / "Life full of hardships to make me mature" - Hawaii Pacific Personal Statement [5]

My life growing up has never been easy for me; it was full of hardships that helped me mature as a person. When I was 3 years old my mother contracted breast cancer and things began to change in my life. As years passed my mom started becoming weaker and weaker and I was seeing it in person. We were told that she was recovering quite well, and the surgeons thought that the tumor had been completely removed. I was at a friend's house during a summer and we got a call that I needed to be home straight away. I knew something had happened to my mom. I was rushed back to my house to find my grandfather, with his head buried in his hands, sitting on the step. I rushed over and the words he cried to me changed my life... "Julie has died Alex..." unable to believe the words I rushed into the house to see my family sitting down around the bed dripping with tears. The tumor that was thought to of been removed had grown back even stronger than before, strong enough that she couldn't fight back.

I was only 6 and I was suffering from serious depression. I suffered endless nightmares for 4 years of my life and I let my anger problems get the best of me. I never told my family about any of this at the time, because I didn't want to cause any more upset. As young as I was, I never thought my life would be the way it once was. To be honest I was completely terrified. I knew my mom was protecting me some way, a way I could not explain. I believed she was there and would help me keep moving on. This fueled my drive in life and it's a drive I still attain. She always told me to strive to be the best I could be academically and also physically and mentally. It has made me strong willed, and keen to learn. She taught me everything I know whether it was how to paint silk or how to kick a soccer ball. Losing my mother was a setback in my life for me at the time.

I was seriously depressed till the age of ten and by this time I was already in a new place. I moved to San Diego and was living in a brand new house. I was attending counseling for depression and also anger management. I met new friends who changed my life more than ever, friends who I was able to express myself too, friends who would listen to me. My depression was slowly going away and my life was slowly getting better. Ten years have passed since I moved to San Diego and I'm progressively getting better as the years go by. I look at who I am today and I am grateful for what I have: a family who cares, and a life I have yet to explore. I try to consider myself an average guy trying to live to enjoy life day by day. I am thankful to be standing here right now, knowing I have people behind me every step of the way.

People have always told me "never let people control you, and tell you what you can and cannot do; if you put your mind to something you will reach your goal". I believed I could be as happy as I once was and I never gave up my faith in it. I look back and I am proud of myself for not giving up. I am a content man with many interests in life and eager to explore the world Walter Bagehot, a famous British Analyst, once said, "The pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do". It's a code I will always live by and one I try and show others.... [STUCK HERE as well I don't know what else to add any suggestions?]