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Posts by incrutable225
Joined: Dec 25, 2010
Last Post: Dec 28, 2010
Threads: 1
Posts: 5  

From: United States of America

Displayed posts: 6
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incrutable225   
Dec 28, 2010
Undergraduate / yale supplement creative topic: love for literature. [8]

thank you so much! and um im trying to say that because they become prisoners of literature, heading to the building (the library, essentially) it's their downfall. somehow...i guess i have to think that one through. but thank you for the help. =]
incrutable225   
Dec 27, 2010
Undergraduate / yale supplement creative topic: love for literature. [8]

"Prisoner of Literature" - Yale Supplement essay

Hey, so for my Yale supplement essay I wrote about how I'm attached to literature and how it has affected me. This is my draft, hopefully the final one! I would just like it if you could critique it for relevance and grammer/spelling errors. Also, it's currently 504 words. It says to be fewer than 500 even though I'm sure 4 extra words is not a big deal. Thanks and good luck!
incrutable225   
Dec 27, 2010
Undergraduate / "Emphasis on physical and mental preparation" - Why Columbia Supplement [8]

I like your concept of using the Core Curriculm as your reason, but on the other hand, it's such a generic topic anyone could write about. You have to relate it to yourself. They know that the Core makes you take music and physical education classes. They know the sports you mentioned are part of it. Talk about what THEY get by you being part of the Core. If I had this topic, I might mention how being able to explore these different subject areas might bring out talents in me that I never knew I had. When you mention "these electives in high school" give examples! You have to sell yourself to them. Your essay right now sounds like you're trying to sell their curriculm. Use specific examples about the Core, not just the classes, but how certain classes may affect you. As far as grammar goes, you're missing alot of commas like in the "not only..but also" sentence. I don't really know if this helped. Hope it did. Thanks for your feedback on my Yale essay! Good luck!
incrutable225   
Dec 26, 2010
Undergraduate / yale supplement creative topic: love for literature. [8]

yeahh, i plan on tweaking it anyways. this was an essay i wrote for one of my classes so i'm kind of just going off of this idea. but thanks! and i will deff help you out on yours. =]
incrutable225   
Dec 25, 2010
Undergraduate / yale supplement creative topic: love for literature. [8]

Hey guys,
So i was working on my yale supplement essay. here is the topic:
You have already told us about yourself in the Common Application, with its list of activities, Short Answer, and Personal Essay. In this required second essay, tell us something that you would like us to know about you that we might not get from the rest of your application - or something that you would like a chance to say more about. Please limit your essay to fewer than 500 words.

i was thinking about being creative and writing about my love for books and literature and how reading affects my outlook on life, many of the decisions i make, what i'm passionate about, lessons i've learned, etc.

i just wanted to know if this was a suitable topic for this prompt.

i thought about starting it off with comparing life and books.

i've already written an essay somewhat like this for my contemp. lit. class. (see below). i'd really appreciate it if you could critique it (i know its not perfect grammar wise and such, just pay attention to the conceptual aspect, please).

thank you so much and good luck on your admissions as well

There it sat, innocently waiting for the unassuming passerby to fall prisoner to its deceivingly beautiful exterior. Like a magnet, it pulls those with a curious mind, pulling them away from all rational thought or reason into its bosom. Up the tall flight of stairs leading to the doom of their existence, they rose, these minuscule figures with the urge to touch, sense, smell, see everything this mystery had to offer. Once inside, the travelers encountered the objects, hundreds, even thousands of them, lined up close to each other. They were so close and so plentiful that there was no space between them. They sat spine to spine, completely rigid. They were housed in hollows, as tall as the structure itself, lined up from wall to wall. One curious traveler, stepping closer to these hollows, discovered that an unusual lettering covering them. Each and every single one had a unique pattern of these symbols, branding them. Slowly inching it out of its home, running her fingers along the cover, turning it over and over in her hands trying to makes sense of it. What exactly it was, no one could tell. It was part of another world, another journey. It was abstract, yet concrete. It was a code to be deciphered, its meaning only discovered for those worthy enough of realizing. She slowly pulls open the cover, the yellowed pages reeking of ages of experience. It has seen so much, been through so much. One can only hope to live past its influence, its sphere of intellect. One crack was all it took. Without understanding the true significance of her folly, she had become prisoner, prisoner of literature, prisoner of imagination, of allusions, of contemplation. She had become trapped in the pages of a book.

From a very young age, I have been an avid reader, a bibliophile even. Any genre, any author, any character, captured my attention and I'd instantly fall in love. I sympathized with animals in Carl Hiaasen's Hoot, which pioneered my environmentalist views. My love for art sprouted with Chasing Vermeer. I learned virtues and morals along with Brother and Sister Bear. I developed a love for learning new cultures in the Magic Tree House series and Esperanza Rising. I experienced the cruelty of conformity in The Hidden. I learned to be proud of my culture in Born Confused.

Books are an essential part of my life, my psyche, my entire existence. From the time I arrived in America at the tender age of four, to this past weekend, books have shaped by life. They provide an escape from reality, into the deep blue seas of the little mermaid, the magical mayhem of harry potter, the romance of pride and prejudice, characteristics never found in the busy life of a high school senior.
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