kbb83
Jan 24, 2011
Undergraduate / Living with my disability, Computer Technician, Studying for GED - accomplishments [3]
Please proofread my essay and rate it between 1-4. 4=Effective 3=Adequate 2=Marginal 1=Ineffective Thank you.
Prompt: Most people go through life one day at a time accomplishing things along the way. Some people accomplish great education or wealth; others accomplish skills at writing, music or nurturing. Sometimes, simple accomplishments mean more than great ones. Try to think of what your greatest accomplishments are in life.
Discussion Question: What are your greatest accomplishments?
Essay:
I have accomplished many things in my life. Three of my greatest accomplishments are living with my disability, becoming a certified Computer Technician and making the decision to study for my G.E.D. I'm proud of all three.
In 2005 I finally got my disability of Schizo-affective disorder under control. I was diagnosed in 2000 and I had been struggling with it for five years. In early 2005 my mother brought me to the hospital where I was treated and released. After that I saw my doctor regularly and took my medication regularly; I now feel like I'm on the right track.
In December 2010 I was certified as a computer technician. I grew up around computers and my father taught me a lot; I've been interested ever since. I studied an online course for three months and then passed two exams to become certified. I scored over 80% on both.
It took a long time but in January 2011 I finally decided to study for my G.E.D. I was a pretty good student in school when I applied myself but I had discipline problems and ended up being expelled in Grade 10. I've thought about going back to school or taking the G.E.D. many times but I always put it off. Recently, I relized that I have a low chance of getting any job without my G.E.D. so I made the decision to start studying for it.
I'm proud of all of my achievements in life. Three of my greatest achievements are living with my disability, becoming a certified Computer Technician, and making the decision to study for my G.E.D.
Please proofread my essay and rate it between 1-4. 4=Effective 3=Adequate 2=Marginal 1=Ineffective Thank you.
Prompt: Most people go through life one day at a time accomplishing things along the way. Some people accomplish great education or wealth; others accomplish skills at writing, music or nurturing. Sometimes, simple accomplishments mean more than great ones. Try to think of what your greatest accomplishments are in life.
Discussion Question: What are your greatest accomplishments?
Essay:
I have accomplished many things in my life. Three of my greatest accomplishments are living with my disability, becoming a certified Computer Technician and making the decision to study for my G.E.D. I'm proud of all three.
In 2005 I finally got my disability of Schizo-affective disorder under control. I was diagnosed in 2000 and I had been struggling with it for five years. In early 2005 my mother brought me to the hospital where I was treated and released. After that I saw my doctor regularly and took my medication regularly; I now feel like I'm on the right track.
In December 2010 I was certified as a computer technician. I grew up around computers and my father taught me a lot; I've been interested ever since. I studied an online course for three months and then passed two exams to become certified. I scored over 80% on both.
It took a long time but in January 2011 I finally decided to study for my G.E.D. I was a pretty good student in school when I applied myself but I had discipline problems and ended up being expelled in Grade 10. I've thought about going back to school or taking the G.E.D. many times but I always put it off. Recently, I relized that I have a low chance of getting any job without my G.E.D. so I made the decision to start studying for it.
I'm proud of all of my achievements in life. Three of my greatest achievements are living with my disability, becoming a certified Computer Technician, and making the decision to study for my G.E.D.
