wujing10
Feb 28, 2011
Writing Feedback / A Great Nation = the general welfare of all its people [2]
Does anyone want to help me revise the grammar of this essay?
"The surest indicator of a great nation is not the achievements of its rulers, artists, or scientists, but the general welfare of all its people."
What is the surest indicator of a great nation? It causes a public debate. Some people believe that the achievement of its rulers, artists, or scientists is the surest indicator, while other people argue that the welfare of all people of a nation is the best indicator. The author tends to be favor of the latter view. In my view, nevertheless, the foregoing one is a more reasonable indicator for the analysis discussed below.
Admittedly, it sounds plausible to regard the welfare of all people as a nation as the surest indicator for that people are usually considered as a foundation of country. It refers to a notion that what is "welfare". For my part, welfare is often indicated by healthy care, job, retirement, education, safety, the quality of living, the quality of environment, the cultural richness and so on. People get the welfare from society or government. And it is the society that these rulers, artists, scientists contribute their achievements to. In other words, people enjoy their welfare because of the achievement of these rulers, artists, scientists.
To begin with, the modern convenient life comes from the development of the science and technology, which is actually the achievement of scientists. We could not deny the progress of science and technology life brings us much merits such as more information, more long-distant communication and more approaches to get knowledge. For example, distant education, which spreads knowledge to people in another corner of the world, actually greatly improves the education lever of citizens. Besides, more and more diseases can be healed because of the continuous findings of new medicine and methods. Smallpox was a tremendously severe threat to human beings until Jenner Eward developed the smallpox vaccine, which eradicates the vital disease from the world.
Similarly, the harmonious society and the enjoyable life amount to fantasy without the achievement of rulers and artists. Society is a complex combination and without the rulers' management, it will be plunged into chaos surely. In 2003, SARS, a horrible disease spreading dramatically in China, caused a high tension in society. Chinese rulers took immediate action to calm the people down and kept the society in orders by establishing interim healthy system and widely disseminating health knowledge all over the country. The citizenry may fall in panic without the management of rulers.
Last but not least, the original impetus of a society advancement rises from the achievement of its rulers, artists, or scientists. Industrialization is an apt illustration. In today's society, industrialization has affected every corner of the world. These modern inventions, such as computer, cellphone, television, radio which are created by these scientists, dramatically change our lives and bring us a new world. And it is these counties' leaders that make policy to create a better environment for these new inventions' creation. And the function of artists should not be ignored. Without them, we could never enjoy these wonderful paintings, music which serve to lift the human spirit, and to put us more in touch with our feelings, foibles and fates-in short, with our humanity.
In conclusion, I agree that the surest indicator of a great nation is the achievement of its rulers, artists, or scientists for the reasons mentioned in the above analysis. Without these achievements, people could not enjoy any welfare, let alone the development a nation.
Does anyone want to help me revise the grammar of this essay?
"The surest indicator of a great nation is not the achievements of its rulers, artists, or scientists, but the general welfare of all its people."
What is the surest indicator of a great nation? It causes a public debate. Some people believe that the achievement of its rulers, artists, or scientists is the surest indicator, while other people argue that the welfare of all people of a nation is the best indicator. The author tends to be favor of the latter view. In my view, nevertheless, the foregoing one is a more reasonable indicator for the analysis discussed below.
Admittedly, it sounds plausible to regard the welfare of all people as a nation as the surest indicator for that people are usually considered as a foundation of country. It refers to a notion that what is "welfare". For my part, welfare is often indicated by healthy care, job, retirement, education, safety, the quality of living, the quality of environment, the cultural richness and so on. People get the welfare from society or government. And it is the society that these rulers, artists, scientists contribute their achievements to. In other words, people enjoy their welfare because of the achievement of these rulers, artists, scientists.
To begin with, the modern convenient life comes from the development of the science and technology, which is actually the achievement of scientists. We could not deny the progress of science and technology life brings us much merits such as more information, more long-distant communication and more approaches to get knowledge. For example, distant education, which spreads knowledge to people in another corner of the world, actually greatly improves the education lever of citizens. Besides, more and more diseases can be healed because of the continuous findings of new medicine and methods. Smallpox was a tremendously severe threat to human beings until Jenner Eward developed the smallpox vaccine, which eradicates the vital disease from the world.
Similarly, the harmonious society and the enjoyable life amount to fantasy without the achievement of rulers and artists. Society is a complex combination and without the rulers' management, it will be plunged into chaos surely. In 2003, SARS, a horrible disease spreading dramatically in China, caused a high tension in society. Chinese rulers took immediate action to calm the people down and kept the society in orders by establishing interim healthy system and widely disseminating health knowledge all over the country. The citizenry may fall in panic without the management of rulers.
Last but not least, the original impetus of a society advancement rises from the achievement of its rulers, artists, or scientists. Industrialization is an apt illustration. In today's society, industrialization has affected every corner of the world. These modern inventions, such as computer, cellphone, television, radio which are created by these scientists, dramatically change our lives and bring us a new world. And it is these counties' leaders that make policy to create a better environment for these new inventions' creation. And the function of artists should not be ignored. Without them, we could never enjoy these wonderful paintings, music which serve to lift the human spirit, and to put us more in touch with our feelings, foibles and fates-in short, with our humanity.
In conclusion, I agree that the surest indicator of a great nation is the achievement of its rulers, artists, or scientists for the reasons mentioned in the above analysis. Without these achievements, people could not enjoy any welfare, let alone the development a nation.
