Writing Feedback / IELTS; average weight of people; 'changing lifestyle' [5]

In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are deceasing.
What do u think are the causes of these problems and what measures should be taken to solve them?

my answer:

In the contemporary society, individuals are inclined to get obese easily and their health levels seem to be declined in recent decades. Probably, there would be several reasons for this phenomenon, though which did not attract enough public attention, to some extent. Nevertheless, indispensable initiatives should be taken to deal with these issues.

Referring to the reasons for those questions above, first comes the proliferation of internet. Obviously, internet has been playing a significant role in various aspects of life, such as e-commerce, online reading, remote education, and most essentially, the basic platform for communication and entertainment among individuals, which would contribute to obesity and the deterioration of eye problems. According to a survey conducted by national network supervisory center, approximately 60% of individuals spent at least 4 hours each day sitting in front of computer screen, at the expense of other activities, such as jogging and swimming.

Furthermore, the changing lifestyle also contributes to these problems. Nowadays, individuals suffer more from plenty of heavy work than decades ago, with that a disorder of life rhythm occurred. Adults and children spare no efforts to win the battle either at work or during study, which would cause a status of imbalance of life and work, for instance, their sleeping quantity will be effected, with excessive dreaming or increased times of waken-up at mid-night.

Consequently, essential efforts should be taken to address these problems. First and foremost, the increasing amount of exercise, both physically and psychologically, should be taken into consideration for those who always lack adequate exercises. Therefore, they can step far way from obesity and keep fit mentally and physically. Secondly, it is preferable to switch on and off work and life reasonably, in order to get a good balance, which will definitely benefit one's health. For example, a timetable and a detailed plan can be made to introduce people with their work and study.

In conclusion, the rising problems concerning raising average weight and the decline of health level cannot be ignored anymore. Only by evaluated initiatives being taken into consideration after a thorough analysis of the reasons, can we address these problems successfully.

PLEASE HELP ME POLISH THIS ANSWER. THKS A LOT!!!

Writing Feedback / IELTS ; Growing traffic & pollution can be controlled by increasing petrol prices [4]

INCREASING THE PRICE of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
What other measures do you think might be effective?

As we read newspapers or watch TV, we have always been attracted by environmental problems such as traffic issues, air and water pollution questions. Initiatives should be taken to address the specific problems. As the impacts for those pollution and traffic issues are extremely far-reaching, it is insufficient to increase the petrol price only to solve problems, though it is a promising method discussed in the contemporary society.

Specifically, price control institution has been used in plenty of social areas, for example, in the farming products and in the real estate area; however, whether it can work out for alleviating traffic and pollution pressure ought to be evaluated. On one hand, governments have a macro-economic perspective to control price in various areas according to social demands. Consequently, it seems not easy to increase petrol price instantly. On the other hand, pollutions are not just caused by the burning of oil, chemical pollutants, extra lights, also constitute considerable amount of pollution. In addition, the improvements of work efficiency also attribute to the speed-up of working pace, resulting in traffic jams during rush-hours.

As illustrated before, several other solutions can be introduced to assist in reducing pollution and traffic problems. Primarily, authorities should spare no efforts in improving public transportation facilities, such as constructing more bus lines, in order to reducing the usage of private cars. Furthermore, temporarily targets should be set, with regard to the limitations of pollutants in a certain period of time, for example, a season. Plus with supervisory institutions built to find and address problems. Meanwhile, cultivating a sense of environmental protection would also work out, though it might not be into effect immediately, but in the long run, it would be a wise choice.

In conclusion, addressing pollution and traffic issues only by increasing oil price Is not adequate, while improving transportation facilities and building supervisory institution would be preferable, plus with the awareness of environmental protection being raised.