pchoi619
Jul 27, 2011
Undergraduate / "Growth Through Challenge" - United States Naval Academy Academic [NEW]
Now I appreciate you guys looking over my work. Essay writing is one of my worst areas, and I've tried countless times to improve it. Its working a bit, but I'm just not there YET! This is just a first draft, and I know my work is far from perfect. Sadly, essay are very important when it comes to college applications, but I dont have to tell you guys haha. Well, besides that, I know that I need ALOT more insight and deeper thinking in my essay. (One of my bad suits.) I would love it if you could put down some suggestions as to how I could do to improve on this. Please don't rewrite the whole thing, I want to improve as a writer too ahahaha. Again, thank you!
Describe a personal experience you have had which you feel has contributed to your own character development and integrity.
"Growth Through Challenge" is the motto of DevilPups. Through the program I discovered that I loved achieving goals through hard work and perseverance.Through the challenge and rigors of DevilPups, I was able to push my mental and physical limits, develop my character through decision making and moral reasoning, and uphold my integrity as a DevilPup. The DevilPups program is a Youth Program for America, developing young men and women to have character, self discipline, a sense of responsibility, confidence, and integrity, through a military setting. This program takes place in Camp Pendleton, CA and is set up as a ten day boot camp by The United States Marine Corps.
On the pool deck, I could feel the nervousness and anticipation in my fellow Pups. Adversity had hit us, smack in the face. I was nervous myself as our platoon was stood up and lined up on the ladder. From the hot cement ground, the daunting thirty five foot tower seemed to stretch a mile in the sky. As we slowly ascended the tower, I saw other Pups walk to the line; however not able to jump. Seeing these failing Pups, anticipation grew, and we all became jittery. My mind was telling me that somehow the jump was going to kill me and that I couldn't do it. As I tried to ignore my mental consciousness, I told myself I would be alright, and tried to keep focus. Soon enough, it was my turn to jump. As I walked up to the line, my heart was racing and my breathing, shaky. I focused my eyes in the distance, and I crossed my limbs. In a heartbeat, I jumped, screaming "Corporals' my uncle, Sergeants' my daddy!" as commanded by my instructors. As I hit the water, I felt a sense of exhilaration and was relieved it was over. Through the mental challenge of fear and self discipline, I discovered that I am able to surpass my own emotions and further developed my character as a strong-willed and strong-minded person.
On the eighth day, we began our hike to the top of Ole' Smokey. The entire encampment would attempt to ascend this summit and on the hot summer day, with our rucks on our backs and boots on our feet, we began our march. The steep grade of the initial hike to our campground was a difficult task and a couple Pups began to fall behind. Rather than leave them behind, I pulled them up to the front of the formation to march in front of us; encouraging them as I struggled to keep up myself. The hike was a mental grind, and every twist and bend of the road created a seemingly never ending route. Through the dripping sweating and dust, we made it to the campground. The initial hike was done, but the real test was soon to come.
From the campground, we immediately dropped our rucks and began our ascent up the mountain. The break was a tease, tricking our bodies that the worst was over, when the worst was yet to come. The route up the steep hill mountain was complete beach sand. Countless classes of Marine Infantrymen have struggled up Ole' Smokey to complete their course, and we were set out to conquer the summit as well. The sand was loose and every step was a struggling battle against the grade. For every two steps I took, I sank a step down. At times, our formation would fall apart, and through the exhaustion, I felt that it was my duty with my fellow squad leaders to hustle down the slope, pick up the straddlers, retrace my own difficult steps up the slope and encourage them to finish the hike as a single unit, a team. After a good hour or so, my platoon and I finally made it up the mountain. At the top we were so overjoyed because we would be formally announced DevilPups and receive our challenge coins. Through the countless steps, the constant burn in my legs, and the constant pounding of my heart, I pushed through the hardship and reached my goal. Ole' Smokey taught me that I am able to push through the physical rigors and surpass the mental strain with poise and confidence.
Now I appreciate you guys looking over my work. Essay writing is one of my worst areas, and I've tried countless times to improve it. Its working a bit, but I'm just not there YET! This is just a first draft, and I know my work is far from perfect. Sadly, essay are very important when it comes to college applications, but I dont have to tell you guys haha. Well, besides that, I know that I need ALOT more insight and deeper thinking in my essay. (One of my bad suits.) I would love it if you could put down some suggestions as to how I could do to improve on this. Please don't rewrite the whole thing, I want to improve as a writer too ahahaha. Again, thank you!
Describe a personal experience you have had which you feel has contributed to your own character development and integrity.
"Growth Through Challenge" is the motto of DevilPups. Through the program I discovered that I loved achieving goals through hard work and perseverance.Through the challenge and rigors of DevilPups, I was able to push my mental and physical limits, develop my character through decision making and moral reasoning, and uphold my integrity as a DevilPup. The DevilPups program is a Youth Program for America, developing young men and women to have character, self discipline, a sense of responsibility, confidence, and integrity, through a military setting. This program takes place in Camp Pendleton, CA and is set up as a ten day boot camp by The United States Marine Corps.
On the pool deck, I could feel the nervousness and anticipation in my fellow Pups. Adversity had hit us, smack in the face. I was nervous myself as our platoon was stood up and lined up on the ladder. From the hot cement ground, the daunting thirty five foot tower seemed to stretch a mile in the sky. As we slowly ascended the tower, I saw other Pups walk to the line; however not able to jump. Seeing these failing Pups, anticipation grew, and we all became jittery. My mind was telling me that somehow the jump was going to kill me and that I couldn't do it. As I tried to ignore my mental consciousness, I told myself I would be alright, and tried to keep focus. Soon enough, it was my turn to jump. As I walked up to the line, my heart was racing and my breathing, shaky. I focused my eyes in the distance, and I crossed my limbs. In a heartbeat, I jumped, screaming "Corporals' my uncle, Sergeants' my daddy!" as commanded by my instructors. As I hit the water, I felt a sense of exhilaration and was relieved it was over. Through the mental challenge of fear and self discipline, I discovered that I am able to surpass my own emotions and further developed my character as a strong-willed and strong-minded person.
On the eighth day, we began our hike to the top of Ole' Smokey. The entire encampment would attempt to ascend this summit and on the hot summer day, with our rucks on our backs and boots on our feet, we began our march. The steep grade of the initial hike to our campground was a difficult task and a couple Pups began to fall behind. Rather than leave them behind, I pulled them up to the front of the formation to march in front of us; encouraging them as I struggled to keep up myself. The hike was a mental grind, and every twist and bend of the road created a seemingly never ending route. Through the dripping sweating and dust, we made it to the campground. The initial hike was done, but the real test was soon to come.
From the campground, we immediately dropped our rucks and began our ascent up the mountain. The break was a tease, tricking our bodies that the worst was over, when the worst was yet to come. The route up the steep hill mountain was complete beach sand. Countless classes of Marine Infantrymen have struggled up Ole' Smokey to complete their course, and we were set out to conquer the summit as well. The sand was loose and every step was a struggling battle against the grade. For every two steps I took, I sank a step down. At times, our formation would fall apart, and through the exhaustion, I felt that it was my duty with my fellow squad leaders to hustle down the slope, pick up the straddlers, retrace my own difficult steps up the slope and encourage them to finish the hike as a single unit, a team. After a good hour or so, my platoon and I finally made it up the mountain. At the top we were so overjoyed because we would be formally announced DevilPups and receive our challenge coins. Through the countless steps, the constant burn in my legs, and the constant pounding of my heart, I pushed through the hardship and reached my goal. Ole' Smokey taught me that I am able to push through the physical rigors and surpass the mental strain with poise and confidence.