Undergraduate / Volunteered at a hospital, specializing in the treatment of leukemia and cancer diagnosed children [5]

COMMON APP activities essay.

Could someone please edit this for me?
I just need a second opinion...

This summer, I volunteered at a hospital specializing in the treatment of leukemia and cancer diagnosed children. I was assigned a position on the second floor, and asked to mandate the children's room, which was filled with young four-year-olds. Over the course of the next five weeks, I spent a majority of my time reading to, talking to, and playing with the patients. I also developed a strong relationship with the mother's who came along with their children, and often talked about their kids and their improvement. My time spent at the hospital was a major reality check because I realized that compared to the problems and challenges the patients and their families faced every day, my seemingly magnanimous problems were, in fact, nonexistent. I was touched by the fact that the patients and their families, rather than cowering in the face of a life-threatening disease, displayed a large amount of courage, support, and optimism. I came to realize the true depth of my ...