nb8475
Aug 22, 2011
Undergraduate / My mom screech "SMOKE!" - bump in the road, UCF 2011-2012 Essay [4]
Thanks for the feedback- What do you think of the essay itself?
Thanks for the feedback- What do you think of the essay itself?
nb8475
Aug 22, 2011
Undergraduate / My mom screech "SMOKE!" - bump in the road, UCF 2011-2012 Essay [4]
Hey everyone. Before you start reading, please read this.
This is my first draft
I'm trying to make a note that my grades drastically improved from sophomore to junior year
The (insert date here) is a placeholder
Please read and let me know your thoughts.
Prompt:If there has been some obstacle or "bump in the road," in your academic or personal life, please explain the circumstances.
It was (insert date here). I slept on the couch downstairs that night. The first thing I remember is the loud and obnoxious incessant shrieking of my house alarm. I tried to brush it off and return to my slumber; it was too early to get up on this particular Sunday morning. However, the loud, blaring noise wouldn't subside. I decide to get up and explore the noise. As I roamed around the downstairs of my house looking for signs of trouble, I look up to the second story of the house and simultaneously hear my mom screech "SMOKE!". By the time the firefighters put the fire out, most of the upstairs portion of my house was blackened and burned from the conflagration.
Life didn't stop, though. It sure did put things in perspective though I went to school the very next day out of uniform because all of my clothes were either burned or covered in smoke. People would come up to ask me "Is today 2 dollar dress-down day?" to which I would reply "No, I just didn't have my uniform" because I didn't feel the need to let everyone else know of my troubles. My family and I were told we had to be displaced for at least 1 year so that reparations could be made to the scorched upper half of my house. From there, things got a lot harder. I struggled in school, and my grades dropped to levels that weren't expected of me. The medium-sized apartment we were temporarily was about ⅓ of the size of our normal house. The fire was tough on the whole family, and everyone was dealing with it in a different way. Personally, I struggled in school, and my grades dropped to levels that weren't expected of me. The chaos in our lives really had me distraught from what was important.
This bump in the road wasn't all bad, though. When tragedy strikes, some people can see what is really important.The period following the fire became a moment of epiphany for me in realizing what was was important. I had to get out of the place I was where I wasn't trying in many aspects of school and I was just sitting home and playing video games all day. I also started to mature and become more aware of the key role my grades would play in my future.
Since the fire, I have changed my attitude and outlook on school. In my following junior year, my grades really started going up. My average GPA of 2.6 was now being thrown way off by the new grades I was getting; I finished with a 3.65 for that year!
Hey everyone. Before you start reading, please read this.
This is my first draft
I'm trying to make a note that my grades drastically improved from sophomore to junior year
The (insert date here) is a placeholder
Please read and let me know your thoughts.
Prompt:If there has been some obstacle or "bump in the road," in your academic or personal life, please explain the circumstances.
It was (insert date here). I slept on the couch downstairs that night. The first thing I remember is the loud and obnoxious incessant shrieking of my house alarm. I tried to brush it off and return to my slumber; it was too early to get up on this particular Sunday morning. However, the loud, blaring noise wouldn't subside. I decide to get up and explore the noise. As I roamed around the downstairs of my house looking for signs of trouble, I look up to the second story of the house and simultaneously hear my mom screech "SMOKE!". By the time the firefighters put the fire out, most of the upstairs portion of my house was blackened and burned from the conflagration.
Life didn't stop, though. It sure did put things in perspective though I went to school the very next day out of uniform because all of my clothes were either burned or covered in smoke. People would come up to ask me "Is today 2 dollar dress-down day?" to which I would reply "No, I just didn't have my uniform" because I didn't feel the need to let everyone else know of my troubles. My family and I were told we had to be displaced for at least 1 year so that reparations could be made to the scorched upper half of my house. From there, things got a lot harder. I struggled in school, and my grades dropped to levels that weren't expected of me. The medium-sized apartment we were temporarily was about ⅓ of the size of our normal house. The fire was tough on the whole family, and everyone was dealing with it in a different way. Personally, I struggled in school, and my grades dropped to levels that weren't expected of me. The chaos in our lives really had me distraught from what was important.
This bump in the road wasn't all bad, though. When tragedy strikes, some people can see what is really important.The period following the fire became a moment of epiphany for me in realizing what was was important. I had to get out of the place I was where I wasn't trying in many aspects of school and I was just sitting home and playing video games all day. I also started to mature and become more aware of the key role my grades would play in my future.
Since the fire, I have changed my attitude and outlook on school. In my following junior year, my grades really started going up. My average GPA of 2.6 was now being thrown way off by the new grades I was getting; I finished with a 3.65 for that year!
