BME Jung
Sep 7, 2011
Writing Feedback / [IBT Toefl] Businesses should do anything they can make a profit. (Agree/Disagree) [NEW]
PLZ Can anyone revise my essay?....:)
---------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Businesses should do anything they can to make a profit. Use specific reasons and examples to support your position. -> Disagree
Should businesses do anything if they can make a profit? Many may think that businesses should do everything for making a profit. However, I disagree with the speaker because businesses without certain guidelines can make harmful effects on a whole society as well as people. The examples of junk foods and adult video games best illustrate that businesses without certain guidelines should be regulated in order to make our society better.
First of all, businessmen, who sell junk foods, can earn enormous money although costumers, who enjoy the foods, ruin their health. For example, people, who frequently eat Mac Donald's junk foods, become fat; as a result, they suffer from many diseases such as high blood pressure. Because of these diseases, there is a tendency that people who eat more junk foods die earlier than those who do not. This example clearly shows that businesses without certain guidelines should be regulated to make people healthy.
Furthermore, when it comes to establishing moral standard of young children, businessmen should maintain their moral accountability when they make their businesses. For instance, businesses without any moral accountability, which are violent and sexual video games, can easily drag not only adults' but also young children's attractions. In this sense, these businesses can earn much money in a shout time; however, our young children will not be able to establish their moral standard, and thus it is possible that they can be perspective criminals. Therefore, businesses without certain guidelines should be limited for maintaining moral standard of our children.
As having seen above examples, businesses like selling junk foods and harmful video games have inimical effects on our society. Not only for maintaining people's health but also moral standard of our children, businesses without certain guidelines should be limited. It is indispensible for government to establish guidelines for businesses in order to shed lights on our future.
PLZ Can anyone revise my essay?....:)
---------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Businesses should do anything they can to make a profit. Use specific reasons and examples to support your position. -> Disagree
Should businesses do anything if they can make a profit? Many may think that businesses should do everything for making a profit. However, I disagree with the speaker because businesses without certain guidelines can make harmful effects on a whole society as well as people. The examples of junk foods and adult video games best illustrate that businesses without certain guidelines should be regulated in order to make our society better.
First of all, businessmen, who sell junk foods, can earn enormous money although costumers, who enjoy the foods, ruin their health. For example, people, who frequently eat Mac Donald's junk foods, become fat; as a result, they suffer from many diseases such as high blood pressure. Because of these diseases, there is a tendency that people who eat more junk foods die earlier than those who do not. This example clearly shows that businesses without certain guidelines should be regulated to make people healthy.
Furthermore, when it comes to establishing moral standard of young children, businessmen should maintain their moral accountability when they make their businesses. For instance, businesses without any moral accountability, which are violent and sexual video games, can easily drag not only adults' but also young children's attractions. In this sense, these businesses can earn much money in a shout time; however, our young children will not be able to establish their moral standard, and thus it is possible that they can be perspective criminals. Therefore, businesses without certain guidelines should be limited for maintaining moral standard of our children.
As having seen above examples, businesses like selling junk foods and harmful video games have inimical effects on our society. Not only for maintaining people's health but also moral standard of our children, businesses without certain guidelines should be limited. It is indispensible for government to establish guidelines for businesses in order to shed lights on our future.