Undergraduate / 'another step towards shaping the future of India' - My most significant achievements [4]

Dear All,

Please read the essay mentioned below and provide the following feedback :

1) What is good and what can be improved.
2) How is the start and end. What can be improved.
3) Rate the essay on a scale of 5. Rate separately for content and presentation.
4) Word limit is 300, so what to trim

Achievement is all about...
Achievement does not assume a material form - something that can be gauged by the salary one draws or by the status one enjoys in an organization or society. Achieve-ment lies in generating benefits for the welfare of all the stakeholders associated with society.

How I led from the front
A true leader is the one who persuades his / her team to work in harmony to achieve excellence.

In my case, I leveraged the strength of the individual team members even as I at-tended to a few details that needed to be ironed out. I took the initiative to ensure that knowledge-sharing, providing feedback and receiving feedback and working for achieving excellence became an obsession with the team. I worked closely with the management so the team members at the bottom of the pyramid were benefited and in the process the management too realized the worth and significance of the contribu-tion made by this layer of employees - not just the high-fliers.

Along with the team I headed, I worked my fingers to the bone so all of us could real-ize our potential. To me growth is not just vertical - it is horizontal too. I instilled this philosophy into every member of the team and together we worked our way towards excellence - not just success because success is after all one of the by-products of ex-cellence.

Educating others
Moving forward in line with my definition of achievement, I motivated the senior citizens of my locality to spread literacy amongst the children of construction workers and house-maids. Nothing satisfies me more than seeing children from below-the-poverty-line families and the lower middle-class occupying top positions in MNCs and helping their families to rise above the poverty line.

My conviction
I firmly believe that for India to become a super power in all senses of the word in quick time all of us should realise that education and the resultant financial empow-erment of the people is the only vehicle that can transport the movement to success. An estimated 30 million enlightened and financially-empowered Indians, spread across 130 countries, account for inward remittances of USD 50 bn plus annually, thus contributing significantly to the country's foreign exchange reserves.

As I take another step towards shaping the future of India, I am reminded of the fol-lowing message issued by N.R. Narayana Murthy:

"I am proud of my association with the ISB, as I have watched it grow from a mere idea into a robust institution that is shaping India's youth into business leaders and entrepreneurs".