FiorentinaFan
Oct 20, 2011
Undergraduate / 'My job at Staples and its wonderful influence' - CommonApp short answer [2]
I would appreciate it anyone could help by proofreading/criticizing my short answer response. I'm about 150 characters too long so I need to shorten it.
Here's the prompt: Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences in the space below (1000 character maximum).
For more than a year, I have worked part-time at a local Staples store as a sales associate. I got the job to help out my family with costs and to help pay for my trip to Spain in the spring. Being my first job, I didn't know what to expect so I kept asking questions constantly whether I was working at the cash register, selling warranty plans, stocking merchandise, or helping customers. And I still do. I figure I have nothing to lose but everything to learn in this position. It may not be helping me with my studies but I've learned things here that I would have never learned in school, things that will help me in real world like managing my schedule along with academics and sports or the importance of providing support to customers. However, it's not just learning but helping that makes it worthwhile. The best part of it is seeing the smile on customers' faces when I help them especially with simple things like finding where pens are. When I first applied to Staples I simply wanted to get a paycheck but I now realize how appreciative I am for the opportunity to learn from my coworkers and submerge myself in a social atmosphere.
The last sentence I was trying to convey how being in a people-friendly environment where i'm interacting with people in a customer-assistance atmosphere has had a great impact on me but I could only think of using 'social atmosphere' and I feel that it's weak. If you could give me some advice I'd appreciate it and tell me what you think about the response.
I would appreciate it anyone could help by proofreading/criticizing my short answer response. I'm about 150 characters too long so I need to shorten it.
Here's the prompt: Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences in the space below (1000 character maximum).
For more than a year, I have worked part-time at a local Staples store as a sales associate. I got the job to help out my family with costs and to help pay for my trip to Spain in the spring. Being my first job, I didn't know what to expect so I kept asking questions constantly whether I was working at the cash register, selling warranty plans, stocking merchandise, or helping customers. And I still do. I figure I have nothing to lose but everything to learn in this position. It may not be helping me with my studies but I've learned things here that I would have never learned in school, things that will help me in real world like managing my schedule along with academics and sports or the importance of providing support to customers. However, it's not just learning but helping that makes it worthwhile. The best part of it is seeing the smile on customers' faces when I help them especially with simple things like finding where pens are. When I first applied to Staples I simply wanted to get a paycheck but I now realize how appreciative I am for the opportunity to learn from my coworkers and submerge myself in a social atmosphere.
The last sentence I was trying to convey how being in a people-friendly environment where i'm interacting with people in a customer-assistance atmosphere has had a great impact on me but I could only think of using 'social atmosphere' and I feel that it's weak. If you could give me some advice I'd appreciate it and tell me what you think about the response.