Undergraduate / "Born in France" - UC prompt 1 and 2 [8]

I rewrote the second prompt and tried to follow your help :

Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud, and how does it relate to the person you are?"

This summer 2008 changed my life. My parents gave me the wonderful present I had never had : a air ticket to San Francisco for two weeks. It was my first long trip alone and my dream became reality. I can not explain why but... USA and the bay area of San Francisco have always fascinated me. I was going to live at friend's of my parents.

I believe that I never became used to a city so fast. Even not Paris. And nevertheless, Paris, I was born in Paris !
I observe people more than I do usually in France and I saw them speak to each other in the street, in the buses. Not only with the tourists. They speak to each other between them too.

I am myself a little bit distant and I was surprised that I spoke with people I never met before.
People from different culture and background.

After those fifteen days in San Francisco and for the first time, I had the impression to understand what I would like to make, where I would like to go.

It gave me autonomy, opening of spirit and maturity. I returned back to France full off hope and envy. I felt ready to start my adult life. It shown me a value I was not aware of before : the perseverance I can have for things I believe important.

I understood that it is necessary to have a purpose to advance and that the motivation is very important.I grew. I also matured. I think that I am now ready and more stronger for the next challenges in my life.

I became more realistic and pragmatic. I think that it is possible to change things to make them better and I was already able to notice progress in my own life and in various places. But it is necessary to act and to work in this direction. Things will not improve of themselves in time.

That is why I have developped a real motivation for studying at UC Berkeley and that is why I began to study the SATs.

Undergraduate / "Born in France" - UC prompt 1 and 2 [8]

I correct the first prompt , tell me if you see errors still present.

Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.

II find it very difficult to describe the world where I come from. And I find it all the more difficult as I have never done this exercice before.

However, I know that where you come from is an important, reccurent question.

I was born in the previous century, in France, near Paris, seventeen years ago.
My name is Johan Hellman. I owe my Swedish name to my father who arrived in France from Sweden when he was twelve. His father is Swedish and his mother is French same my mother.

I live with these two cultures and it is a reel opportunity. People, in Europe, think that the Swedish and the French are the same. I do not agree totally. There is a very small difference between them, that is why it is difficult define it.

The Swedish have perhaps a greater sense of humour, they are kinder and they are closer to nature.

The French like speaking and discussing. Their discussions are sometimes endless. In a group, in a coffee shop you vill often see two people "duelling", and the others listen to them.

It is true that sometimes, they grumble a little, criticize everything, but they have so many other qualities.

Since I was a baby, I have lived with the American Flag above my head.
An old American flag my father bought in a flea market somewhere in San Francisco where he spent one year studying.
Forty eight stars shining around me for seventeen years. An American Flag made in 1912.
When I look at this flag, I think of liberty, freedom, pride.

I enjoy going to school to study. I am in a European class which means that for three years we have been learning more English, especially in history and geography.

I am living in Evreux, in Normandy and my school is a big one with two thousand four hundred students.
I go to school from Monday to Saturday. The timetable is heavy with thirty five hours plus homework and since this year, the United States college exam.

Not enough time for me to meet my friends, play the drums or the guitar or doing sports. I practiced rugby last year.
But it is certainly a good way of training for my higher education and it is a good stimulus. School gives education and socialization. My favorite subjects are economics and mathematics.

I am lucky to grow up in a good environment with my parents.
My parents really have a great influence on me. They taught me that nothing can be acquired easily because if it is too easy, you forget it quickly. They have their own very small business company and are working hard to give us the best means to succeed.

Thanks to them, I have the opportunity to meet people from different countries and to travel. I sometimes go to Sweden, visit Ireland where my cousins live, have an Italian pen-friend (as I learn Italian).

My friends at school are also from different environments or religions, which teaches me to be tolerant.

All these different roots around me will help me in my future adult life and for the rest of my life.
Are not roots important as they are the pillars of nature ? This is true for plants and even for people.
The stronger are the roots, the stronger the basis of life is.

My parents taught me the values of work, tolerance and patience. School gave me education, helped me to become a citizen, and to assess the value of life.

With all these qualities that I now possess, I will continue to pursue my dream. Perhaps one day I will be able to hang another star : the Fiftieth one.

and the second, another time changing for a better one ( I hope)

Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud, and how does it relate to the person you are?"

This summer 2008 changed my life. My parents gave me the wonderful present I had never had : a plane ticket to San Francisco for two weeks. It was my first long trip alone and my dream became reality. I can not explain why but...USA and the bay area of San Francisco had always fascinated me. I was going to live at friend's of my parents.

I spent those days with my parents friends living there.
I believe that I never became used to a city so fast. Even not Paris. And nevertheless, Paris, I was born in Paris ! I mean, where else in the world can you do half a million things all in a quarter to three ?

Here it is hippie land.People are really cooler than in any other big city which I know!
People do not run in the street. Too many hills perhaps !
And then, people also speak to each other in the street, in the buses Not only with the tourists. They speak to each other between them too.

Well, it is sure that if, besides, you plant you on a pavement, the frantic look with your Lonely Planet, you are assured that a charitable soul is going to come to your help in the minute which follows.

One day I accepted - while I already had it - a guide BART on behalf of an unknown who claimed me that it was the best free plan of the city. That so pleased her to offer it to me!

Each day, I met some different people and a new feeling invaded me : I was falling in love of this place and this new way of life. I walked a lot alone to discover the streets and I decided to visit Berkeley.

I went also to UC Berkeley took all informations necessary for the registration.

I have developped a real motivation for studying at UC Berkeley and I began to study the SATs.If my scores are not safisfactory this time, I will not lose my motivation and I will focus on a French college which has a one or two year exchange with UC Berkeley in its curriculum.

The experience of this journey is incomparable for me. It gave me autonomy, opening of spirit and maturity. I returned back to France full off hopeful and envy. I felt ready to start my adult's life. It showed me a value I was not aware of before : the perseverance I can have for things I believe important.

Thanks a lot for your help.
(and do not hesitate to correct grammar and spelling faults.)

Undergraduate / "Born in France" - UC prompt 1 and 2 [8]

I rewrote prompt 2 (the first one will come tomorrow, a bit busy with a philosophy essay today....)

here a part of the second prompt,

Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud, and how does it relate to the person you are?"

Is it off topic or in a good way to answer the question?

I believe that I never became used to a city so fast. Even not Paris. And nevertheless, Paris, I was born in Paris ! I mean, where else in the world can you do half a million things all in a quarter to three ?

Here it is hippie land.People are really cooler than in any other big city which I know!
People do not run in the street. Even if the need to catch buses, streetcars and the world famous cable buses which cross hills.
And then, people also speak to each other in the street, in the buses Not only with the tourists. They speak to each other between them too.

Well, it is sure that if, besides, you plant you on a pavement, the frantic look with your Lonely Planet, you are assured that a charitable soul is going to come to your help in the minute which follows.

One day I accepted - while I already had it - a guide BART on behalf of an unknown who claimed me that it was the best free plan of the city. That so pleased her to offer it to me!

The experience of this journey is incomparable for me. It gave me autonomy, opening of spirit and maturity. I returned back to France full off hopeful and envy. I felt grows and loan to begin my adult's life.