heidic12
Oct 27, 2011
Undergraduate / 'a counselor at Royal Family Kids' STANFORD - Common app essay and personal statement [3]
EVALUATE A SIGNIFICANT EXPERIENCE... AND ITS IMPACT ON YOU: (250-500 words)
I have always been aware of suffering and poverty throughout the world, but the reality of it never truly struck me until I encountered it first hand. I've always had a desire to go out and save thousands of starving children and create a huge difference in the world, but I realized this summer that the only way to touch others is to do so one person at a time.
This summer I worked as a counselor at Royal Family Kids Camp, an overnight camp which gives abused and neglected children one week out of their year to receive encouragement and attention. I entered the camp with an idealistic mindset; that I would work with and change the life of every child there. However, on the first day I met one little girl, a cheerful and lively nine-year-old, whose spirit and boundless energy struck me. She was the kind of girl who loves and needs attention and affection, and I could tell she had been deprived of both. I decided I was going to make this week the best week for her. She adored the attention I gave her, and we developed a special bond through countless hours of dress-up, swimming races, and putting on plays. The amount of energy she demanded exhausted me, and as she opened up to me, her stories shocked and pained me. As the week drew to a close, she clung to me more and more, referring to me not as "my favorite counselor," but as "my best friend." The hardest part of the week was saying goodbye. Before leaving she presented me with crafts she had made me throughout the week so I would never forget her. I know I never will. Her genuine compassion, generosity, and vitality in a life of inequity and maltreatment truly inspire me. I realized how grateful I should be to have a comfortable home and loving family. Prior to leaving she told me, clinging to me in tears, that this had been the best week ever. My heart broke as I watched her go, feeling helpless as I could do nothing to stop her from returning to her unfair life. However, as I reflect back on the week, I realize that though I had not been able to repair the problems in the her life, nor reach out to every child there, I had given one girl the best week of her life, which is true success. I would never take back a second we spent together, because not only did I affect her by showing her love and compassion, but she affected me just as much, and taught me valuable lessons. That week was the most difficult and exhausting week of my life, but the most amazing and unforgettable.
Mother Teresa once said, "I alone cannot change the world, but I can cast a stone across the waters to create many ripples." I now realize I do not have to start huge organizations or gives vast amounts of money to charities to make a difference in the world. I can make my mark through influencing lives one person at a time, and I will strive to do so to achieve true success. (538 words)
Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences in the space below (1000 character maximum).
I can hear my heart thumping in my chest. I can feel the perspiration soaking my hands. The anticipation grows until I finally hear the loud "Runners set," and the "BANG!" of the gun. All my nerves vanish as I charge forward, ready to conquer the race. As I settle into a pace, the rhythm of my breathing and the pounding of my feet carry me away from my daily worries. I forget about the math test I just took and the essay I need to write, feeling free and light on my feet. The pain soon kicks in, but I push it out of my mind. This is where I prove how hard I have worked, and no aches and pains will stop me. The end seems to never come, but I keep going until I fly through the finish line. The feeling of accomplishment at the end, despite the physical exhaustion, reminds me why I do cross country. Running has taught me so many valuable lessons, including perseverance, determination, and teamwork. The simple movement of running may seem like merely a hobby or a sport. But to me it is far more; it is a means of escape and a chance to grow and mature. As I continue to move forward into the future, I know the qualities I now possess will allow me to push through and conquer whatever challenges are in store. (1222 characters)
Tell me your thoughts and what I can cut out of both because they are both a bit too long! Thanks so much!
EVALUATE A SIGNIFICANT EXPERIENCE... AND ITS IMPACT ON YOU: (250-500 words)
I have always been aware of suffering and poverty throughout the world, but the reality of it never truly struck me until I encountered it first hand. I've always had a desire to go out and save thousands of starving children and create a huge difference in the world, but I realized this summer that the only way to touch others is to do so one person at a time.
This summer I worked as a counselor at Royal Family Kids Camp, an overnight camp which gives abused and neglected children one week out of their year to receive encouragement and attention. I entered the camp with an idealistic mindset; that I would work with and change the life of every child there. However, on the first day I met one little girl, a cheerful and lively nine-year-old, whose spirit and boundless energy struck me. She was the kind of girl who loves and needs attention and affection, and I could tell she had been deprived of both. I decided I was going to make this week the best week for her. She adored the attention I gave her, and we developed a special bond through countless hours of dress-up, swimming races, and putting on plays. The amount of energy she demanded exhausted me, and as she opened up to me, her stories shocked and pained me. As the week drew to a close, she clung to me more and more, referring to me not as "my favorite counselor," but as "my best friend." The hardest part of the week was saying goodbye. Before leaving she presented me with crafts she had made me throughout the week so I would never forget her. I know I never will. Her genuine compassion, generosity, and vitality in a life of inequity and maltreatment truly inspire me. I realized how grateful I should be to have a comfortable home and loving family. Prior to leaving she told me, clinging to me in tears, that this had been the best week ever. My heart broke as I watched her go, feeling helpless as I could do nothing to stop her from returning to her unfair life. However, as I reflect back on the week, I realize that though I had not been able to repair the problems in the her life, nor reach out to every child there, I had given one girl the best week of her life, which is true success. I would never take back a second we spent together, because not only did I affect her by showing her love and compassion, but she affected me just as much, and taught me valuable lessons. That week was the most difficult and exhausting week of my life, but the most amazing and unforgettable.
Mother Teresa once said, "I alone cannot change the world, but I can cast a stone across the waters to create many ripples." I now realize I do not have to start huge organizations or gives vast amounts of money to charities to make a difference in the world. I can make my mark through influencing lives one person at a time, and I will strive to do so to achieve true success. (538 words)
Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences in the space below (1000 character maximum).
I can hear my heart thumping in my chest. I can feel the perspiration soaking my hands. The anticipation grows until I finally hear the loud "Runners set," and the "BANG!" of the gun. All my nerves vanish as I charge forward, ready to conquer the race. As I settle into a pace, the rhythm of my breathing and the pounding of my feet carry me away from my daily worries. I forget about the math test I just took and the essay I need to write, feeling free and light on my feet. The pain soon kicks in, but I push it out of my mind. This is where I prove how hard I have worked, and no aches and pains will stop me. The end seems to never come, but I keep going until I fly through the finish line. The feeling of accomplishment at the end, despite the physical exhaustion, reminds me why I do cross country. Running has taught me so many valuable lessons, including perseverance, determination, and teamwork. The simple movement of running may seem like merely a hobby or a sport. But to me it is far more; it is a means of escape and a chance to grow and mature. As I continue to move forward into the future, I know the qualities I now possess will allow me to push through and conquer whatever challenges are in store. (1222 characters)
Tell me your thoughts and what I can cut out of both because they are both a bit too long! Thanks so much!
