museme
Nov 25, 2011
Undergraduate / 'why is learning important?' - University of Chicago--your own question [5]
Hi!
I would like to say that your introduction was amazing, especially that last sentence. I'm not very good with grammar, but I can give you some structural advice. Your 3rd, 4th, and 5th paragraphs need transitions. They feel blocky but with transitions, the essay will be much smoother! Your conclusion needs some work not because you don't have a good one already but because from your previous paragraphs, I can tell you can do better. For your conclusion, you might tie in how the three of them work together instead of skimming over it.
Good luck! For what it is worth, you seem very UChicagoish!
I would appreciate it if you can look at mine here:
Hi!
I would like to say that your introduction was amazing, especially that last sentence. I'm not very good with grammar, but I can give you some structural advice. Your 3rd, 4th, and 5th paragraphs need transitions. They feel blocky but with transitions, the essay will be much smoother! Your conclusion needs some work not because you don't have a good one already but because from your previous paragraphs, I can tell you can do better. For your conclusion, you might tie in how the three of them work together instead of skimming over it.
Good luck! For what it is worth, you seem very UChicagoish!
I would appreciate it if you can look at mine here:
