Undergraduate / Forgiveness - issue of importance to you [6]

Choose an issue of importance to you-the issue could be personal, school related, local, political, or international in scope-and write an essay in which you explain the significance of that issue to yourself, your family, your community, or your generation.

I'm not sure if I have addressed the topic properly. Please help. I was trying to explain the power of forgiveness and why i did what i did in a specific situation.

Through our experiences we learn great lessons and become better people or we allow negative experiences to consume in a way that we inflict pain onto others. During my college years I met a fascinating person. He was hardworking, dedicated to his elderly father, and respectful. I enjoyed being just friends with him but he wanted something more. He was ready to spend the rest of his life with me. I started to feel uncomfortable and decided to distant myself from him. I then decided to be honest and straightforward with him about how I felt. He listened to everything I had to say and was very understanding.

The next morning I woke up to a yearlong nightmare. I saw a number of my pictures posted on his social networking site with false sex-related captions. I was confused, surprised an angry. I called him and he was a different person. I didn't know what he wanted and I don't think he did either. I asked him to take down the pictures. He did and then put them up again. This transpired into worse events. Within days, my mind was consumed by the thoughts of what he may do next. There were fake accounts under my name and picture on various social networking sites. Then I started to get endless phone calls from him at all hours of the day, most of which I wouldn't answer. Then I started to get calls and voice mails from men I didn't know. They were inquiring about sexual services they read online that I was offering. I was disgusted. I knew it was he who put such information online. I had to ask one of the callers to help me locate where they found this information. This was when I finally decided to go to the police for help. Through taking legal action, eventually all the posts were taken down, I changed my number, and relocated to another apartment.

After it all stopped I thought I could finally go back to my normal life but it was difficult. I was so afraid to use any social networking sites because I was afraid someone might take a picture and use it in in some negative way. I was afraid to tell people where I lived because I didn't want anyone to find me and hurt me. I was afraid to give people my phone number because I was afraid I would get harassing calls. I was angry and had a hard time making new friends. I couldn't go back to my normal life because I was afraid it would happen all over again. My friends and family would tell me "it's okay, I would act just like you if that happened to me. You have to be careful from now on." I knew I had to be careful but I didn't want to be afraid.

I thought my nightmare was over but there was still something I needed to do. I told my friends and family that I had to forgive him. They were appalled with at my decision. There were questions of how I could possibly forgive him for making my life miserable for so long. At that time I didn't know why I was allowing it to happen. I was afraid and felt like it was my fault in some way. I felt like I made him do the things he was doing. I was wrong. I learned he had been through a lot in his life while growing up but he was an adult now. His unfortunate past may explain his actions but didn't excuse him. He was responsible for what he did and it was not my fault.

I think it's so important for everyone to realize the power of forgiveness. I had to make the commitment that nothing is going to have power over my life. What he had done was malicious, controlling and selfish. I chose to withdraw my emotions and refuse to invest any more of myself in him. I don't feel that my forgiving him is a gift to him. Instead forgiveness is a gift I gave to myself. I never had to opportunity to tell him I forgave him but that wasn't what was important to me. It was more important for me to be free. I wanted to claim that forgiveness for myself. I wanted the peace in my life.