Graduate / "I promote a team and raise funds"--Leadership and community--short essay [NEW]

Please check if there is any grammar error or anywhere i can polish! Also please give me any advise to improve this essay! Thank you so much in advance!

Discuss how involved you have been with your community through volunteer, neighborhood, place of worship, or other activities. Describe why community is or is not important to you. Give examples of playing a leadership role in your school or community.(no exceeding 1000 char.)

Last January, when I was motivated by the volunteers of the American Cancer Society, I had the chance to promote a team and raise funds for this organization. I founded Team 'Awesome' with my best friend Nancy in the nationwide activity Relay for Life, and we invited our friends and neighbors to join us. I first learned the mission statements of the organization. Then, I took the full advantage of my relationships with people at school, and asked for their support. I also created a list of donors' names and the amounts they donated. Moved by my passion, many friends outside of team benevolently helped me in the fundraising process. With their help, I raised about two hundred dollars personally for the American Cancer Society. We gathered all the money, and I sent it to the local bank along with the list of the donors. After this, I have become more appreciative of my relationships with others. This event taught me the lesson that one finger cannot lift a small stone. My friends and teammates also had an enjoyable experience and were happy to contribute to their society.

P.S: ALSO I EXCEED 88 CHARACTERS. IF YOU CAN MAKE THIS ESSAY ANY SHORTER, THANK YOU VERY MUCH!

Undergraduate / 'when I first came to America in 11th grade' - Personal Challenge--short essay [NEW]

Am I answering the questions correctly? Do I have any grammatical errors? Any suggestions on how to improve this essay? Are these ideals related? Thank you so much in advance!

Describe a personal challenge you have faced, or a situation which you found to be particularly difficult. How did you react and what conclusions did you draw from the experience? Were you or others treated unfairly? Were you able to turn to others for support? (1000 characters)

Most people immigrate to the USA to find a better life. They also need to face various challenges, usually, during their first and second year in the USA. This was also my situation when I first came to America in 11th grade.

My biggest challenge was when I was enrolled in a math class of a language level that did not match my skill level. In China, I finished all these math classes. I believed that I could perform better at a higher level of math class. But my math teacher thought I should stay with her. In order to get her permission that allow me to move up, I actively performed in class, often answered questions, and showed her my ability to handle complex math problems. Finally, she accepted my request and made me move up. By overcoming this obstacle, I was able to get a better education. Most important, I could not have accomplished so much without the help of my teachers and students. Their kind advises are the motivation for me to reach my goals.

Writing Feedback / 'I want to be a doctor in the future' - Describe your short and long-term goals [3]

Please check if there is any grammar errors, run-on. Please give me any advise to improve this essay! Thank you so much in advance!=)
Describe your short and long-term goals and how you plan to accomplish them. (1000)

Life has no meaning without goals. I set up my life goals regularly and plan to accomplish them step-by-step. My current short-term goal is to graduate from high school with high grades and to learn as much as I can so I will be prepared for college. It will not be that difficult to reach if I am responsible to my academic courses and put in the required effort before a test to show what I learned. Along with that, I am also working towards my scholarships so I can afford my education. By accomplishing these short term goals, I will finish the first step that is going to reach my dream, which is to become a doctor. There are people who are suffering from disease in developing countries. Another goal I want to achieve with degree is to help these people get better health conditions. In order to accomplish that, I will engage more volunteer opportunities at local hospitals to gain experience about how to take care of people and what to expect in the future.