MK1993
Feb 7, 2012
Writing Feedback / 'seat belt laws' - GED Practice Essays [6]
Hi, Thank you for your help :)
While I was waiting for someone to respond, I re-wrote the essay with a different approach, tell me what you think :)
It's a fact that not wearing a seat belt can cause serious injury, and even death. Just last year,
over 50% of deaths resulting from an automobile accident were caused because the persons were not wearing seat belts.
I believe some people do not buckle up, simply because it doesn't make them "Cool". I know many of my friends who do not wear them just because they want to seem like the "Dare Devil" type.
Some others may not buckle up, because it is uncomfortable. There are some people out there who may be over weight, and the seat belt might be too small for them.
That could cause them to be uncomfortable behind the wheel.
In October of 2011, I lost one of my best friends in an automobile accident. If he were wearing his seat belt, he would still be here today. He was ejected from the vehicle after it flipped over several times.
He would never wear the seat belt because he said it was uncomfortable, but unfortuanatly he learned the hard way that you should always wear a seat belt,
and that is why I wear one every time I am in a vehicle.
If people were to buckle up every time they go in a vehicle, no matter how the long the trip is, the death rate in motor vehicle accidents would drop drastically.
PS: When I paste it from Microsoft Word, into this text box, it looks really messy. Just letting you know, so you don't think I am going to write it like that hehe :)
Hi, Thank you for your help :)
While I was waiting for someone to respond, I re-wrote the essay with a different approach, tell me what you think :)
It's a fact that not wearing a seat belt can cause serious injury, and even death. Just last year,
over 50% of deaths resulting from an automobile accident were caused because the persons were not wearing seat belts.
I believe some people do not buckle up, simply because it doesn't make them "Cool". I know many of my friends who do not wear them just because they want to seem like the "Dare Devil" type.
Some others may not buckle up, because it is uncomfortable. There are some people out there who may be over weight, and the seat belt might be too small for them.
That could cause them to be uncomfortable behind the wheel.
In October of 2011, I lost one of my best friends in an automobile accident. If he were wearing his seat belt, he would still be here today. He was ejected from the vehicle after it flipped over several times.
He would never wear the seat belt because he said it was uncomfortable, but unfortuanatly he learned the hard way that you should always wear a seat belt,
and that is why I wear one every time I am in a vehicle.
If people were to buckle up every time they go in a vehicle, no matter how the long the trip is, the death rate in motor vehicle accidents would drop drastically.
PS: When I paste it from Microsoft Word, into this text box, it looks really messy. Just letting you know, so you don't think I am going to write it like that hehe :)
